This was sent to Aunt Babz via email...
This is an additional response to this post.
Honestly I think that you have done all that you can do with regard to the ex. Seems to me that you have spilled out your soul to both the men involved in your life, and that if you continue down the road that you are on you will truly not be happy.
The way I see this, is that the man you loved wasn’t a provider. You left the security of love for the security of a pay check. Now that in itself will burn a man like nothing else. Leaving a man because he couldn’t provide is hard on the esteem. And he likely doesn’t want anything to do with you, because of the chance of that happening again. A person can only handle so much. So he does what he can, and he is still borrowing money from you, which in itself must be degrading to him. Borrowing money from the woman who left him. I do not see him returning to you.
And then there is the man you are currently with. You are not in love with him because you are in love with your ex. But the truth is, you were the one who left and you have made your bed. So why punish this man with an unloving partner? Seems rather selfish, and you both deserve so much more then that.
I know that you will not take this advice, because it is pretty unsympathetic (and for that I do apologize) but you should get out on your own and start new. Leave these two men to begin their lives with people who accept them wholly. And you should do the same, stay true to yourself, and let this be a hard lesson to learn.