Editors Note; Someone had sent an email to Xmichra asking her “what makes you qualified to answer on an advice column?” I read Xmichra's answer to the email author and felt the need to publish it or rather, I felt it was an above average answer to an non strategic question. The person/s who asked the question may have asked it out of pure arrogance, possibly, my impression? In this vein, I might add that those on staff here at Ask Aunt Babz do so without any more benefit than an occasional "Thank You." We answer questions, virtually for nothing more than that occasional "Thanks!" It is the life changing response, the one we get where we are told that we made a difference in their lives, that is our payment. But in our defense, 7 out of 10 letters, we answer, do not answer back. So, it is the ones that do bother to tell us we have given them perspective and hopefully a pinch of wisdom that spur us on. Yes, it is that and that alone which enables us to pour our heart and soul, a piece of each of us...in every post.
Dear Reader,
I have been asked “what makes you qualified to answer on an advice column?”, And my answer? I’m not. I am not “qualified” by any school or academy. I sure have lived through a few things though, just like many people who come across this page have. And I personally believe that everyone has good advice to give on certain topics.
Good advice is not hard to find when you are asking the right people. And it tends to be in the non-fluffy answers that the truth of your situation is found. And it is also from people who have lived through experiences similar to yours, or who know of others who have been in your situation that the most clarity comes from. For example, Why would you ask an opinion on drugs to someone who has never done them or seen the truth of drug addiction? You wouldn’t or you would and then you would walk away not trusting the advice given.
Answering your questions, I always ask myself “if this were my very best friend, how would I answer?”. And sometimes I say things that you don’t want to hear. But I treat the questions as though they were from my friend, at some diner somewhere over a cup of coffee. And if you were to ask a few friends, you would know that I have given them advice they didn’t like either. And some they didn’t take it (sometimes it worked out, sometimes it didn’t) and that is the way life rolls. But that is the best thing about advice. It can help you make a decision, even if it is the opposite of what you have been advised. Only you know the entirety of a situation, and only you will make the choice. We are here more as a devils advocate, or resource to help you draw a conclusion. In the end, it’s your life, and your choice.
But if you want to get someone else’s perspective it never hurts to ask. And that is to me, the quintessential purpose of this site. And the reason why I was honored to be picked as a participant.
So when you are asking a question, just relax. It’s just us at Ask Aunt B, you and a cup of coffee. Ask away :) and we will do our best to keep up.
Brightest Blessings
~Xmichra~
