Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Why Xmichra Answers

Editors Note; Someone had sent an email to Xmichra asking her “what makes you qualified to answer on an advice column?” I read Xmichra's answer to the email author and felt the need to publish it or rather, I felt it was an above average answer to an non strategic question. The person/s who asked the question may have asked it out of pure arrogance, possibly, my impression? In this vein, I might add that those on staff here at Ask Aunt Babz do so without any more benefit than an occasional "Thank You." We answer questions, virtually for nothing more than that occasional "Thanks!" It is the life changing response, the one we get where we are told that we made a difference in their lives, that is our payment. But in our defense, 7 out of 10 letters, we answer, do not answer back. So, it is the ones that do bother to tell us we have given them perspective and hopefully a pinch of wisdom that spur us on. Yes, it is that and that alone which enables us to pour our heart and soul, a piece of each of every post.

Dear Reader,

I have been asked “what makes you qualified to answer on an advice column?”, And my answer? I’m not. I am not “qualified” by any school or academy. I sure have lived through a few things though, just like many people who come across this page have. And I personally believe that everyone has good advice to give on certain topics.

Good advice is not hard to find when you are asking the right people. And it tends to be in the non-fluffy answers that the truth of your situation is found. And it is also from people who have lived through experiences similar to yours, or who know of others who have been in your situation that the most clarity comes from. For example, Why would you ask an opinion on drugs to someone who has never done them or seen the truth of drug addiction? You wouldn’t or you would and then you would walk away not trusting the advice given.

Answering your questions, I always ask myself “if this were my very best friend, how would I answer?”. And sometimes I say things that you don’t want to hear. But I treat the questions as though they were from my friend, at some diner somewhere over a cup of coffee. And if you were to ask a few friends, you would know that I have given them advice they didn’t like either. And some they didn’t take it (sometimes it worked out, sometimes it didn’t) and that is the way life rolls. But that is the best thing about advice. It can help you make a decision, even if it is the opposite of what you have been advised. Only you know the entirety of a situation, and only you will make the choice. We are here more as a devils advocate, or resource to help you draw a conclusion. In the end, it’s your life, and your choice.

But if you want to get someone else’s perspective it never hurts to ask. And that is to me, the quintessential purpose of this site. And the reason why I was honored to be picked as a participant.

So when you are asking a question, just relax. It’s just us at Ask Aunt B, you and a cup of coffee. Ask away :) and we will do our best to keep up.

Brightest Blessings



KarmaLennon said...

I have asked X. for advice many a time. She's been a friend of mine for....gosh,how long has it been now??? 2 years maybe? I ask her advice on everything-from my latest guy troubles to things I wouldn't dare ask other people in my life. And she always gives me advice. Sometimes I take it, sometimes I don't, sometimes it's not what I want to hear (LOL) but she always gives me an honest opinion. I trust her because of the experiences she's had and the fact that she is completely honest. And if she's going to give you advice about something she may not have gone through personally or something, she'll tell you before giving you the advice. I say she's just as qualified as anyone else out there. :)

Ask Aunt B said...

Karmalennon, I thank you for taking the time to comment in support of Xmichra.

I consider X and count her as family. This has not been easy for her, giving advice but she unselfishly gives her all, as best she can with each and every question. I don't see others doing this in numbers, do you? Oh yea, you've got your Dear Abby's and so on with their curt little answers. But I have yet to see a site that cares about getting to the core of the problem with real answers, taking real time to answer those problems and a genuine sincerity and actual concern and care for giving them an answer or perspective they can live with.

I agree with you, she's as qualified as anyone else but the difference is she's doing it. Can they say the same? I think not, don't you agree? As well, she's tried and true and most of all, she's more than real with her answers.

I have other blogs and have for years. They've had high traffic, many hits per day. With Ask Aunt Babz we have little traffic but somehow, each and every week, we get letters asking for help. I think it's a personal experience. I can't explain how it works but it does. But it would never work if it weren't for the brilliant wisdom and shining attributes X brings to each and every post/answer.

I'm glad someone else sees the value and treasure I have found in X. She's like a pure gold encrusted with diamonds.

coopernicus said...

I think X would be great at this...

Old Knudsen said...

Life experience and self awareness makes her qualified because not everyone is.

If you know anything about Xmichra that question would not have been asked.

Xmichra said...

Aww! you guys rock :)

i feel all strange and goofy now!

Thank you for your kind words though (and to those who have commented on my blog and in e-mail form) i relly do appreciate it. But i didn't think this was that bad a question either. Maybe someone who doesn't know me just wanted to know how i respond. who knows. But this has been one of the best experiences in my life, answering questions from aunt b. It's not something all would enjoy as it's pretty tough sometimes. But it's worth it in the grand scheme of things.

Thanks again guys :)