Sex Is Not The Answer

Dear Aunt B,

I have this need to make my mom feel really good, and she devorced my dad a couple years ago and has just been alone and i also have a really bad need to i want to have sex with her bad i have even tried letting her catch me masterbaiting but she just closes the door quick and acts inocent and your smart so how do i get her to have sex with me i really want her. How do i get her to have me in bed?

Dear Friend,

Our creed here at Aunt Babz is nothing is Taboo and we will answer every question. And I shall...

I can not tell you to kill those emotions, the ones you have for your Mom. I can tell you that they are not proper and I can and will tell you that you should probably seek counseling to put those emotions in check, in proper order.

I assume you are not joking about these feelings. I know I am not laughing about it. I do and am able to see this situation as it is. See, I think you are trying to be a good son. I do think you love your Mom terribly. But I do see that you have flipped the script. You have changed the variables between what's healthy between a young man and his Mom. Don't misunderstand what I am saying as I do give you credit for wanting to make your Mom happy again but I guarantee this is not the right way to make her happy.

As well, you are not the first boy who falls in love with his Mom. Psychological statistics state that a boy first falls for his Mom, quite often but does not act on the emotion. He realizes it's incestuous, not proper, not healthy and in turn, quite often seeks out a girl who is very much like his Mom.

I believe your feelings are real but that does not make them right. I also believe that you are ready to cross that invisible line between a relationship between, that of a mother and her son and a woman and her lover. You can never do this and I hope you will see that it is wrong. In fact, it may be quite upsetting to your Mom. I have three sons and can not imagine or even fathom a sexual encounter with any one of them. I may have even flipped out if they every approached me that way.

I would strongly urge you to seek counsel, you know a professional therapist, in your town. I feel you need to work through these feelings, maybe in a one on one setting. My reasons are not just because of your feelings towards or for your Mother. But I have the sneaking suspicion that you only want to help your Mom, you only want to make her feel better, as you've stated yourself, in your letter.

Yes, I do believe you've grown frustrated and long for your Mom to smile again. That is a wonderful thing. You want her to be happy again, right? If this is the truth, your true motive, sex is not the answer. Just for future reference, most women do not equate sex with making everything alright or making things better. What I mean is this; If you fight with your wife, make up sex is great but it's not the answer. No, actions speak louder than words. By doing the right thing, by showing that you care in the little things you do, that will make a larger impact.

Again, I urge you to get into counseling. You have quite a few issues and a professional, in your area can and will help you work through them. He/She may help you get back on track to a healthy and loving relationship between you and your Mom. Sex is not the answer here, ok?

Now, the best way you could please your Mom, is most likely by doing well in school, helping around the house and treating her with respect. A fella only gets one Mom...make sure you value yours.

Keeping It Real,

Aunt Babz

Dear Josh,

You ask of us to show you how to get your mother in bed, and the only answer I have is: you don’t.

You’re in a tough spot mentally right now and I would strongly suggest seeking help with a professional therapist.

When a young man desires to be his mothers mate, there are all sorts of things going on there, most primarily that there is something else wrong in the picture. Speaking of only one theory, maybe you have anxiety and using the familiar bond between yourself and your mother to combat the impulses involved in your own sexual development. It could be a number of things that is happening with you right now.

Losing the male figure in your life is also very hard to deal with. Maybe you feel that it is “your job” to be the man in the house and that your mother needs you to be in the role. But I assure you, this is not your job and you do not need to feel like this.

Whatever the situation is warranting your thought process, you do need to talk it out with an accredited professional, because quite frankly your concern is above any of our (at Ask Aunt B’s) ability to talk you through. Yours is one that you do need help with, and if you need any help at all with that just let us know and we will help you find it. Please don’t think of this reply as scolding you or making you feel badly about yourself. I am sure that with a little guidance you can overcome this, and you will be back to living your life as intended.

Take care of yourself, and let us know if you need help.

~Xmichra.

Dear Friend,

You are feeling a role similar to the Father and this is why you are feeling all these things. So, that may be/feel like you want her. You've been taking care of her, haven't you? Now, I know you don't want your Mom to be sad or lonely or even to feel unwanted but you've got to remember you are her son. You are loved by your Mother but not in that way, as in man and wife. To get your mind out of these thoughts, you should get involved with other kids your age. Maybe join some Clubs, after school activities and these feelings will hopefully dissipate.

Know that you will still be there for your Mom, as a son, not a lover. If you decide to do this and go with your emotions right now, your Mom may become more depressed as this will be upsetting because it's not a normal or healthy relationship between a Mother and her son.

Your helpful thoughts, concerning your Mom are good ones but your idea as to how to make her feel better are all wrong. Your role is that of a son, a good and loving, caring, thoughtful son. I see that you are all these things just don't mix up your emotions.

Go to your Guidance Counselor and tell them you need to speak with a Counselor concerning your Mom and Dad's divorce. Then, tell them about these feelings.

On Your Side,

Halena