Friday, April 11, 2008

Become That Woman

Dear Aunt B,

In the beginning of this school year i met my new classmate, R. He was a rich boy and he had many friends in the school. When I met him i liked him, but I didn’t get on well with him. One day I asked him to give me his phone number and he gave it to me. That day I talked with him via messages, about 30. I was very happy because I liked him. The following day we talked via messages, too. At last I told him that I love him… And he started to touch my legs and ass at school……. Of course I didn’t let him to do this, but I didn’t do my best to stop him. And he started to give me messages with “i love you”. I really wanted to him to love me. After two months of “touches” he was with a girl, A. She was the school’s b**ch and he liked her. He didn’t give me any messages and he became indifferent with me… And he is still indifferent in the current moment and I am still loving him. What can I do to get out of his life that girl, A.? What can I do to make him loving me? Please answer!

Kisses, Mirra.
Dear Mirra,

I'm not sure if I have an answer for you but I do have a few questions, maybe a few suggestions;

While I realize that you say you love him, do you really love him? I ask this because somehow I feel he's not the guy for you. I just have this feeling that he's a player, the kind of guy that's out for the "thrill of the kill" and nothing more. Once he feels he conquered you or he won your heart, he moved on to the next. My Intuitions are usually right so I ask you to take a look at what I suggest.

Having said this and I may be wrong but it won't hurt you to look at things with the possibility that I might be on target. Then, if I am right, you must do what you can to move on with the realization that Mr. Right is right around the corner. Actually though, I feel you'll date several Mr. Right's before you will find "The Mr. Right." You will have the pick of the litter. You didn't know this, huh?

One thing I feel is that you don't see yourself as an attractive young lady. While, on one hand you know you are attractive, more often than not, you have doubts as to your inner beauty which of course is the more important of the two. You are still grappling with who you are, what you will be and where you are going in life. Yes, you have a lot of self doubt and a few self esteem issues to contend with.

Knowing this, I would make you aware of the fact that you've probably latched on to "the idea" of this guy because he was really the first guy that validated you and made you feel a bit sexy, wanted and desirable. But you don't need him to be the sexy you. And you won't need him to feel wanted or desirable, I guarantee this. Also let me point out that the real deal lies in you, being you and certainly not being anything you are not. In other words, Mr. Right will see you as you are and love every inch. You won't have to push yourself on him and you sure won't have to act sexy. No, that will be a personal file you'll only reveal when the time is right. He'll be attracted to you and not some girl who's trying to act sexy or sex him up.

I hope you can see things for what they really are? Now, in the event that you can't, you must never throw yourself at this guy. No, you must learn to be mysterious. You must lure him in with body language. You make him think with your eyes. It is possible to communicate all and everything to a guy without ever uttering a word. Say nothing but convey how you feel with your eyes.

Take notice as to how most girls act, you know the ones that are trying to get the attention of some guy. They are often obnoxiously loud, showing off and carrying on. Most guys are actually turned off by this. Sure they do notice you but not in a good way. They'll often think how immature that girl is acting, a big turn-off.

Always carry yourself with a splash of dignity, a dab of virtue, wrapping yourself in your womanhood. Mind your words and don't engage in mindless chatter in front of guys. Measure your vocabulary. Without seeming pretentious, hold your head up, your chest out, stomach in, one foot in front of the other and walk with that air of a woman/young lady who's sure footed, strong and knows where she's going. It may seem foreign to you, at first but the eventuality of it is that you will become that woman.

You will get what you want in life, yes, who you want, when you are able to enhance your own beauty with these inner enrichments
. You are a multi-faceted woman, you just need to bring it to the surface, for all to see. And see it, they will as soon as you begin to believe it yourself. Become this woman.

Keeping It Real,

Aunt Babz

Dear Mirra,

I think that maybe this guy you speak of has decided to ignore your feelings and just go for another girl. Were you two dating? You never specified. Because If you weren’t dating… and nothing was resolved in specifying a relationship “title” (for lack of better terms)… seems to me like you two were casual “touch” buddies. Which may not be what you wanted. But it is how this sounds.

Either way, the boy sounds like he wants to go on to another relationship and not continue with you. If he did, he would have called you (or messaged you). But, if you feel compelled to try and seek a relationship with him, just ask him on a date. Worst case scenario, he says he’s not interested, but then you would have at least tried and you would know. Best case scenario he says yes, and you two can talk about what you want and if there is a potential for a relationship.

My advice though? Next time you think you like a boy, say something. Be clear. Don’t put yourself and your sexuality out like a doormat. There are plenty of guys out there who would love to have a casual ‘thing’ with a girl. But sounds to me like you aren’t that type of girl… and don’t want to be treated like that. So filter your relationships a little better and don’t give yourself to a guy who isn’t into you and isn’t committed to you. You will only get hurt in the end if you do that.

Take care


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