Dear Aunt Babz,
Hi there Ali here, I have recently been dumped by my boyfriend of 6 months although 6 months isnt long the minute we met we had a strong bond and soon fell in love. He grew up in my new home and his uncle is an old friend so everything seemed like fate. I'm sure he loves me but he hasnt given a reason just dumped me totally out the blue. We were so happy im heartbroken as I think he's my true love i'm 25 and he's 19 so everyone is saying its his age. But you cant fake feelings like he showed for me. I've been through so much in my life I cant see how to get through this he's being so awful and totally shutting me out. I just dont no what to do.
Dear Ali, I imagine right now, you're feeling pretty rough? I'm not sure if I have an absolute answer for you except to say that if it was fate which threw you two together, it'll be fate to bring him back?
I do think age has something to do with it, in fact it's probably everything to do with it. But I don't mean in the respect that the age difference between the two of you, is a factor. I happen to believe that love is love no matter what the age and since there are so many aspects of love, so many facets, the variables are always, not age but the degree of that love. Love comes in many shapes and sizes and you can never ever put a set of rules, per say or have a stance that age is a factor as to why it works and doesn't work. Love only works if you work it, whether you are the same age of 20 years apart.
I do however feel, that this fella is still young enough that he doesn't know what he wants. On one hand, there's that side of him that was head over heels in love with you. Then, the testosterone took over and off he went. This is a natural course for some males, a need to sew thy seed, experience all that life has to offer and not commit. Some of that is a lack of maturity, some is to be true to oneself and as well, a possibility that he might be afraid of his feelings, afraid to commit. My youngest son, Wam, was just this way. He went around, falling in love, breaking hearts and yes, sewing his seeds, feeling his oats. He's now 26, wants to settle down but still hears the "Call of the Wild" and is extremely fearful (although he'd never admit it) of commitment.
Somehow, I feel it is exactly that, the Call of the Wild. There's a good possibility that he did and does love you but has trepidation concerning a commitment. He may have run because of this fear. I'm gonna say it, I think he's afraid of his strong feelings. Now, I don't want to get your hopes up, or give you a false sense of that hope. Where fate, which I prefer to call destiny, placed you two together, destiny will also prevail, one way or another.
I do also believe in the power of prayer. If you do, I suggest you get to praying for one of two things; that you'll find love elsewhere and you'll be comforted and heal or this guy will have his heart warmed, you on his mind, every minute. You ask your Higher Power for direction and wisdom. These very words are part of that destiny too, did you know this? Yes, all things happen for a reason, even you writing to me and my response to you.
Knowing that all things happen for a reason, begin to look for the reason and the answer will be there.Life is a series of tests, riddles if you were and learning experiences. Knowing this, simplifies things, now doesn't it? So, what is it you are to learn from this? Only you may answer that riddle?
In conclusion, I have to tell you my gut feelings. I must. I have the sneaking suspicion that you need to pull the band-aid off and let go. I would love nothing more than for you to write me and tell me I was so very wrong. But I must be honest. I do not negate your feelings, your love for this guy. As well, I recognize that, in fact, he does love you as well or rather, has a love for you. But, Ali, my instincts, my Intuitions tell me that it is not to be.
If per chance, I am right, I would suggest that you get busy, get back into business, jump back into life and ready yourself for the guy I see you with. When you least expect it, he will come round the corner and mesmerize you. He's not the best looking guy to come down the Pike and you won't notice him at first. But he's an honest soul, the kinda guy you can curl up with on a stormy night. He has a bit of temper but will not show it to you, not really. He's also the kind of guy who lives to make you smile and passionately loves to make you laugh. I won't bore you with all that I see but suffice it to say, I see you smiling and happy, in love really for the first time.
Be encouraged. I hope you can recover quickly from this and will look forward to the day you write me and tell me all about it.
Keeping It Real,
Keeping It Real