Temporaily Closed

Sorry Guys but right now my life is on fast forward. To do you any justice in answering your questions, I always want to give you my full attention. Right now that's just not possible.

In the meantime, enjoy your summer and remember...

Don't sweat the small shit and it's ALL small shit!!!

Keeping It Real,
Aunt B







Every now and again, I like to post this just to make you think. Even though I wrote it, it still makes me remember, think and pray...

My Granddaughter…Aries

I wrote this, not long after my release from Prison. I had laid there, alone, one night, unable to sleep. I began to think about all I had seen and heard, some of the stories. As part of a therapeutic community, a rehab within the prison, we had delved into a lot of issues, most brought on by addiction. Some were honest and frank, matter of fact. Some showed no remorse but often times, the women did not understand how they could do the things they had done. They had killed, starved, sold, cut, maimed, abused, neglected, molested and raped their children. I’d spoke with women, outside of a treatment setting and many of these women knew not, why they did what they did.

But who suffered the most, when the Mother was taken to prison? The children and they paid the price for it all. They had already been neglected and hurt and now they would be passed around like a garage sale rag doll. Pray for the children, will you?

“Bless This Child”

Bless this child who’s beaten daily, much more than he can take.
Bless this child who cries at night, his hunger still awake.
Bless this child who’s born of drugs, no habit of his own,
Bless this child who screams in silence he bears his pain alone.
Bless this child not wanted still, a lonely path to lead,
Bless this child so young, too young, molested, made to bleed.
Bless this child born of pain, whose mother barely cares,
Bless this child afraid of dark, it only brings nightmares.
Bless this child too frail to eat, afraid to die just yet,
Bless this child disease will claim, his dreams are never met.
Bless this child who wants to die, his life seems only lies,
Bless this child through suicide can’t say his last good-byes.
Bless this child who’s father’s gone, his love poured out in vain,
Bless this child through poverty who’ll only know hate and pain.
Bless this child who’s shook in anger, now knocks at heaven’s gate,
Bless this child you’ll never know, her story told too late.
Bless this child who’s sent to you, a present from above,
Bless this child you call your own, make sure you show them love.

Always Keeping It Real,
Aunt B


"Even the most brilliant minds can have troubled souls."

Aunt B

Easy Dynamic

With Aunt B's Answer

Dear Aunt B,

On your website you said nothing is taboo and that's why I will feel a bit more comfortable telling you this. I'm a 26 year old woman. I have a close knit family whom I love very much. I have an uncle who was in prison for 18 years that we as a family would go visit every weekend for years. We had a very good relationship during those years. He was released two years ago and our relationship has changed. Last October, our relationship turned sexual and has been that way since then. He would send me texts saying how he wanted to have sex with me since I was 16. At first I thought it was a crazy joke, he was in prison a long time. That started in March. Now let me say I thought the world of my uncle when I was 16. He always talked to me and gave me advice and listened to me. My father wasn't around so he was the next best thing but better because I could talk to him about things I couldn't with my mother. I never knew he felt that way about me. I admit I got curious after a while but I never really thought it would happen. When it first started it was just sex, but me like a dummy started to have feelings 5 months in. I told him I wanted to stop because of that and he ignored it. Him and I both have had other partners him a lot more than me I'm sure. He tells me I'm better than his other ladies. He gets jealous when I mention another man. He tells me that I'm perfect and that if our situation was different he would marry me. He gets butterflies when he sees me. He loves holding me. Now another woman is pregnant by him and it hurts me. I've been in this situation where I was cheated on and the other woman got pregnant three times before. I got really upset. We weren't exactly careful and if it wasn't for plan B I would b pregnant by him. He tells me he doesn't want to stop. He even asked me if I wanted a baby and said he loved me one time since I found out. Now I know that his words are BS but I guess it wore me down after all this time and I feel stupid for allowing myself to have feelings for him. I don't know where they came from. I don't understand why he wanted me in this way. I certainly didn't plan on this. It really was just sex in the beginning and I didn't want or ask for anything beyond that. But he keeps coming up with these type of comments. Even though I feel like I'm in love with him, which sounds completely insane, I understand there is no good coming out of this situation especially for me. I want help with how to push emotion to the side and get out of this situation. Signed, Going Crazy Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Dear Reader,

In the interest of helping you, really helping you, I need to tell you that you need to seek a professional for the resolve to your question. Not because you are crazy, but because you will need to talk this out for awhile before you can feel that you have fixed this situation. You are right, this is a complicated situation, and one that I feel shouldn’t be answered in a quick gut answer format.

I can tell you what *I* would do. So I am telling you to please get help from a professional. You do need it. There are so many things at work in this one small glimpse of your story.

I will go into this, a little, because I am afraid that you will not seek help. I am afraid you will not seek help for fear of judgment of *who* the man is, and having the rest of your feelings cast aside because of it. And I know there are plenty of professional people out there who get a bad rap, but a good one worth their salt, wouldn’t make you feel that way at all. A good therapist will address the whole of this situation, and go through all your feelings and how to overcome them. So please, again, do seek help.

It doesn’t sound insane to me that you feel that you are in love with this man. It actually makes total sense that you think you feel this way. It makes sense that you are feeling betrayed. It makes sense that you are feeling cast aside. It makes sense that you are angry. Do not feel stupid, you are making sense. Regardless of *who* the guy is, anyone would feel angry and be asking exactly what you have been asking.

The problem that I see is that he has preyed upon you since you were very young, and he will continue to do so. I am sorry to hear this story, and even sorrier for the pain this will cause you. But you need to step away, and you need to get help. Have you told your parents about all this? I am guessing not given the circumstances. I am not sure if saying anything to them right now would be helpful, because I don’t know your parents. But if they are close to you (as you have indicated) and you trust them, I would suggest that you tell them and let them help you through all of this. You will need support.

Your situation isn’t the type where there is a simple solution. If I could have a piece of simplicity, I would encourage you to move on and forget this guy because he doesn’t love you. And I really wish it were that simple. But, I know it isn’t because of the nature of your relationship and the length of time this has evolved. So, again, I implore you to stop what you are doing all together with this man, and get help.

I wish I could answer this for you, and I wish that it were an easy dynamic. If you need help to seek a professional, please let us know (we will keep that off site).

~Xmichra.

With Aunt B's Answer

Dear Going Crazy,

I am "tickled pink" that you wrote us as we appreciate our readers as well as those that ask the many questions that we get. You're right; Nothing Is Taboo and we will discuss anything, if it is a serious question. What I mean by this is if someone truly wants an answer to a heart felt question and sometimes even that is debatable, we will try to accommodate them by answering as best as we can.

I do believe you are already aware of the "Social Stigma"that may be associated with your relationship with your Uncle. For all intent and purpose, some may even refer to it as Incest. And if you don't mind, I'll ask you to click on that link I just provided for you, for that particular word.You may then come to your own conclusion/resolution as to the definition of your situation.

Putting all this aside, even the nature of the your possible blood relationship, well, I have bigger fish to fry here. What I mean by this is rather plain and simple;

Your Uncle, I believe is using you in the name of love.

Now, you may write me after you've examined all of this and "read me the riot act" but I'd be willing to wager, you have some real *self-esteem issues. Yes, I'd also be willing to bet you are a bit over weight, feel rather ugly and have been very hard on yourself, most of your God given life. And I want it to stop...right here and right now. Yep, you damn skippy, I can see you and I do know.

You have such urgency to be loved and desired, (which are all normal human needs), that you are willing to put aside all the red flags, all the, shall I dare say; Wrong that has been done to you. And I'm asking you to slow down and take a long, hard look at how you've allowed yourself to be treated.

You are in good company when it comes to what people, even and including myself, well, just what we will do for love. And it's all a matter of what we may choose to endure in the "name of love."

I'm sorry to tell you, that although I do firmly believe that your Uncle has feelings for you, I also unflinchingly believe he's been leading you astray and feeding you a line in order to have sex with you. Now, you can lie to yourself and/or sugar coat it all day long but I tell you all this because I want you to wake up and see the devastation this man has effected.

What Can You Do???

For starters, I want you to begin to assess your own, hidden self worth. It's not hidden from the world just from you, apparently, when you look in the mirror. I think you may have forgotten what a wonderful personality as well as sense of humor you possess. The absolute best attribute you are blessed with is that undeniable "twinkle" in your eyes, especially when you are in a playful mood. You've not been playful as of late and that's a shame. The spring in your step
has sprung. Hasn't it?

I'd like to see you get your sense of self back. That playfulness that I spoke of will come back the sooner you see how wrong it was for your Uncle to do this to you. Yes, I said "do this" because you have been a victim of a man who took advantage of and did what it took to bed down a damsel in distress, someone who just wants to be loved.

Your answer, the beginning lies in you seeing all of this, peering into the looking glass with the realization that it is all as simple as you seeing yourself again, for the first time. Somewhat a riddle, I promise you that if you would ingest all that I have prescribed to you,

"He will come along. And he will tell you that 'you have the most beautiful eyes he's ever seen'." (Bedroom Eyes)

Keeping It Real,

Aunt B


*Further Reading on Self Esteem;

Self Esteem - The Problem Behind All Problems
by Asoka Selvarajah, Ph.D

How Can I Improve My Self Esteem?
Reviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness, PhD

Re-Post; Something To Think About

Every now and again, I like to post this just to make you think. Even though I wrote it, it still makes me remember, think and pray...

My Granddaughter…Aries

I wrote this, not long after my release from Prison. I had laid there, alone, one night, unable to sleep. I began to think about all I had seen and heard, some of the stories.As part of a therapeutic community, a rehab within the prison, we had delved into a lot of issues, most brought on by addiction. Some were honest and frank, matter of fact. Some showed no remorse but often times, the women did not understand how they could do the things they had done. They had killed, starved, sold, cut, maimed, abused, neglected, molested and raped their children. I’d spoke with women, outside of a treatment setting and many of these women knew not, why they did what they did.

But who suffered the most, when the Mother was taken to prison? The children and they paid the price for it all. They had already been neglected and hurt and now they would be passed around like a garage sale rag doll. Pray for the children, will you?

“Bless This Child”

Bless this child who’s beaten daily, much more than he can take.
Bless this child who cries at night, his hunger still awake.
Bless this child who’s born of drugs, no habit of his own,
Bless this child who screams in silence he bears his pain alone.
Bless this child not wanted still, a lonely path to lead,
Bless this child so young, too young, molested, made to bleed.
Bless this child born of pain, whose mother barely cares,
Bless this child afraid of dark, it only brings nightmares.
Bless this child too frail to eat, afraid to die just yet,
Bless this child disease will claim, his dreams are never met.
Bless this child who wants to die, his life seems only lies,
Bless this child through suicide can’t say his last good-byes.
Bless this child who’s father’s gone, his love poured out in vain,
Bless this child through poverty who’ll only know hate and pain.
Bless this child who’s shook in anger, now knocks at heaven’s gate,
Bless this child you’ll never know, her story told too late.
Bless this child who’s sent to you, a present from above,
Bless this child you call your own, make sure you show them love.

Always Keeping It Real,

Aunt Babz
"Even the most brilliant minds can have troubled souls."

Meet Mrs.Know Itall; How To Screw Up Your Life

Dear Aunt Babz,

Has your mom ever annoyed you soooo much you want to runaway?





Dear Reader,

To answer your question; she sure did and I did run away!

My Dad was/is a Lt.Colonel but it was my Mom who was the Drill Sergeant. She was a taskmaster and I thought she was just being mean. She made me keep my room immaculate and I had to do dishes and clean the house, do laundry and on and on. I can remember thinking, "I'm not the maid here. Slave labor was abolished." I realize now, that she was teaching me life skills, a good work ethic and strong, sturdy personal habits. If I had only seen this, things may have been different.

I was always in trouble and spent most of my childhood, mainly my teen years on restriction; no phone, no going out. I had to stay in the house. I'm not talking a day or two, I'm talking weeks, months of restriction to the house.

We have a wonderful relationship now but back then it was real bad.I hated my Mom and I believed she hated me. She was so hard on me and when I messed up, I was then restricted. I was convinced she truly could not stand me. I was always getting in trouble, always doing something stupid and I had criminal behaviors, even then. I gave my Mom, a run for her money. I was real good at being bad and did not pay attention in school. Who the heck needs to learn about how to spell or fractions and junk. I wanted them to stop wasting my time because I knew it all.

I stole her Cadillac at the tender age of 14, in an attempt at running away. I was headed to Ocean City, Md., I lived in Virginia. I went across state lines and was caught, in Maryland. I was then fingerprinted and charged by the F.B.I. with Interstate Transportation.
That was not the last time I ran away. The very last time, Miss Know It All, was 16. I ended up getting pregnant. Running away from home, changed my life forever. There was never, any turning back and I had made those choices, me and me alone.

Looking In The Mirror

I wanted to be all grown up. What I didn't realize was, along with being all grown up, came responsibilities. I can look back now and laugh about how ridiculous I was. I am able to see now, just how badly I blew things out of proportion, just how badly I blew up my life. I didn't want to be told what to do because I thought I, she's just being mean. I didn't realize she was teaching me but you couldn't tell me that. I had no real understanding of what being an adult, really entailed. I thought I could take care of myself, after all, how hard could it really be? I immediately found that I couldn't even get a job without my parents signature on the work permission slip. Even if I had not needed a permission to work slip, do you really think I could have found a job, at 14 or even 16, that would have paid me enough to live on my own? I had no real skills but I knew it all. Nobody hires "Know It Alls," simply because they say so, huh? So, what's a girl to do in a big mean world of big mean people just waiting to take advantage of you?
I thought I was in love. This guy was taking care of me. He had me living with him and he bought my food and so on. Did I practice safe sex? Nope and I never thought "I" would get pregnant. Now, how stupid is that? Girls have been getting pregnant since the dawn of time. It's a fact, the simple rule of the birds and the bees. I was immature enough to think I was all grown up and knew it all. Yet, I couldn't even understand the very concept of how, when you have sex, you get pregnant. It's as elementary as it gets but why didn't I believe it could or would happen to me? When you get pregnant it changes your life and oh yes Lord, you will have to grow up. But not before you learn it all the hard way. Your childhood is ripped out of your hands and you get what you want; you are all grown up. All the crying in the world won't change a damn thing either. You can cry because you can't go out anymore because you now have to stay home with a baby. You can cry because you just flushed your chances of going to college down the crapper, much less graduating high school with the rest of your class. You can cry because your baby won't stop crying, even though it's been fed, changed, cuddled and it's still crying and it's the middle of the night. What do you do...call Mommy?
So, you do the right thing, you get married to a guy you later realize you never loved, not in the sense of the Prince Charming you dreamed about. You fight all the time because you really didn't know each other in the first place and you are not really compatible but you stay with him because now, you are pregnant again. Who's going to give a job to some young girl with a kid and one on the way. You don't even have your High School diploma because you were pregnant and didn't graduate. Why won't they hire you, you know it all? So, you cook and clean and try to be the good little wife and here comes baby #3 and you are happy but you hate your life and you stand there, in front of the mirror and watch in horror as your body gets stretched and distorted. Your pretty breasts are no longer youthful, you are covered in stretch marks and the circles under your eyes betray you.
Mrs. Know It All didn't sleep again last night. The oldest child is sick with a fever and threw up all over his bedding and it's the only set of Sesame Street sheets you own for him. So, you put him in your bed, put his sheets in the wash and then he throws up all over your sheets and child #2 just woke up because child #1 is crying because he's sick. You're not feeling so good yourself and you just want to cry. Next thing you know, you have two in diapers, you have this pouch that hangs at your stomach and you are standing in front of the mirror and you question, how the hell it all happened. You have stretch marks on your breasts and they just don't stand up like they used to. You don't have time to even contemplate it too much cause now baby #3 is crying and needs fed. You go to pick him up and he's pooped up the back of his chair and you'll have to clean that before you can put him back down but don't trip over all the toys on the floor. Those damn Lego's are the most painful, especially in the middle of the night, when you least expect it. You are so tired after cleaning up, chasing kids, doing laundry, cooking dinner, feeding the kids and you climb into bed, at the end of the night exhausted. The hubby wants to be frisky cause that's what they do. So, you lay there, tired and feeling half dead and let a man who you really don't love, make love to you. You just hope he'll hurry so you can get some sleep.

So, you stand in front of the mirror again, years later and you ask yourself, "What the hell happened?"
Now, you get them all into school and you keep thinking how you want to get out of the house, maybe get a part-time job. They ask you, "Well, Mrs. Know It All, what skills do you possess, besides knowing it all, that will cause me to hire you?"
Nothing is more humbling than when you realize, that even at McDonald's you have to be trained and that may be the only job I might be given the chance to shine?
Years go by, you feel empty inside. You are tired of your life and you want a change. You leave your husband, take his children and start out on your own. You find yourself in the same stupid mess, needing help. You meet another loser and tell yourself you are in love. He's abusive but you feel stuck. He cripples you with his abuse and you cry in silence. He drinks and you start just to get on the same page and tolerate him. You try drugs to shut out the noise and they work, so you think. You keep slipping further and further into the lies, just so you don't have to feel the mess you've created by your choices. Now, you're addicted and those children you love so much become last on your list of important things to take care of. You never stopped loving them but you had more important things to do. You have an addiction to feed, an angry addiction.
You look in the mirror and you see a woman, old before her time. Mrs. Know It All, has track marks on her arms and hates herself so badly that she no longer wants to live. But who wants to waste good heroin on killing yourself? It's when you don't have it and you are so sick, that you want to die. You look at yourself, a shell of a person, a waste of skin, waste of life. And you wonder what happened?

Mrs. Know It All then became a number OF6708. She couldn't look in the mirror from her Prison cell. She might kill herself with the glass. She was so glad she couldn't see herself but could only imagine just how pathetic she looked. She sure didn't know it all now. She sure wished she could turn back the hands of time but there's no such thing. There were no tears left for her to cry as they humbled her with their strip searches and indignities.
What she became aware of, what she did learn was that she had choices all along, from the very beginning. It took a lifetime to learn. It almost took her life.

Choices

You have choices in every single minute of every day. Your story is different but I think you just need some coping skills. If your Mom tells you to do something and you question it, you need to look at why she may be asking you to do that something. You need to talk to her. If the lines of communication are down in your house, build new ones. If you think something is unfair, ask her why she is asking you to do whatever it is, she's asking. Ask without an attitude and you just might not be met, with an attitude. Remember that your Mom is human, she's only a woman trying to be your Mom, that ain't easy. Ask yourself what is she trying to teach you instead of thinking she's being mean. Write her a letter and explain how you feel and ask her to explain. Never forget what it would like without your Mom, you'll never have another and you'll never find the same love a mother has, for her daughter. If things are strained, don't run, try to work it out. What choices do you have, to make things better? Make the right choice, please?

Yes, Mrs. Know It All was me. My name now, is... Mz.Babs Humbled.

Keeping It Really Real,

Aunt Babz

Something To Think About; Bless This Child

Every now and again, I like to post this just to make you think. Even though I wrote it, it still makes me remember, think and pray...

My Granddaughter…Aries

I wrote this, not long after my release from Prison. I had laid there, alone, one night, unable to sleep. I began to think about all I had seen and heard, some of the stories.As part of a therapeutic community, a rehab within the prison, we had delved into a lot of issues, most brought on by addiction. Some were honest and frank, matter of fact. Some showed no remorse but often times, the women did not understand how they could do the things they had done. They had killed, starved, sold, cut, maimed, abused, neglected, molested and raped their children. I’d spoke with women, outside of a treatment setting and many of these women knew not, why they did what they did.

But who suffered the most, when the Mother was taken to prison? The children and they paid the price for it all. They had already been neglected and hurt and now they would be passed around like a garage sale rag doll. Pray for the children, will you?

“Bless This Child”

Bless this child who’s beaten daily, much more than he can take.
Bless this child who cries at night, his hunger still awake.
Bless this child who’s born of drugs, no habit of his own,
Bless this child who screams in silence he bears his pain alone.
Bless this child not wanted still, a lonely path to lead,
Bless this child so young, too young, molested, made to bleed.
Bless this child born of pain, whose mother barely cares,
Bless this child afraid of dark, it only brings nightmares.
Bless this child too frail to eat, afraid to die just yet,
Bless this child disease will claim, his dreams are never met.
Bless this child who wants to die, his life seems only lies,
Bless this child through suicide can’t say his last good-byes.
Bless this child who’s father’s gone, his love poured out in vain,
Bless this child through poverty who’ll only know hate and pain.
Bless this child who’s shook in anger, now knocks at heaven’s gate,
Bless this child you’ll never know, her story told too late.
Bless this child who’s sent to you, a present from above,
Bless this child you call your own, make sure you show them love.

Always Keeping It Real,

Aunt Babz
"Even the most brilliant minds can have troubled souls."

One Rough Road

Hey Aunt B,

Well to make it short…My exboyfriend was doing really good…He went from nothing…to Having a good job, going to school and finally his car…He is the type of person who lies at anyones expense..he can use people..and overall he can be self fish and not care about nothing else..not even his family..he is going on 22 and I feel he will never get it..He is falling into really bad stuff..right now he no longer lives at home and is running out of money…just last week I think he robbed his own job….and now they know its him…so he quit..he has not paid his car note…so I feel like he is headed in the wrong direction..I know he has deep feelings for me…and I thought that I could make him see things differently…I want him to realize what situations he is putting himself in….I want him to THINK!!!! I have tried, and tried and tried talking to him all sorts of ways…and no results. He is still the same person…but lately its just getting worst…he is doing worst..and im sooooo scared and worried for him…I don't want him to end up dead or in prison….What do I do??? Do I just give up on him? Because im also hurting myself in a way…should I just leave him alone…I feel that If I leave he will have NO One…but im tired of feeling disappointed by him…should I just give up and let him live his life the way he wants to?

Thanks

LLadira

Dear Lladira,

This is a difficult situation for sure. On the one hand you feel like you should “stand by your man” because you love him. But on the other you know that he is walking a dangerous road.

I can’t tell you what to do, but if it were me, I would leave. Honestly you cannot run the risk of being implicated in his shady dealings, and if he is really that much of a liar… well I just don’t think that I would be able to trust him not sinking me too.

This guy needs a reality check that you cannot provide for him. And he will slide down into some serious trouble right away. Stealing from your employer and being under suspicion for it doesn’t go away because you have quit. In fact it makes it compellingly obvious that you did something wrong. So you can pretty much bank on his employer following up on that.

There is a strange perception that someone who lies or steals from their employer, that doesn’t mean that they would do so from you. But in my experience it is actually very much the opposite. A person, who has no regard for their employer, when the employer has invested in you and has given you an opportunity, is a person who has a mix of morality. What makes it right to steal from someone who has given you something so beneficial? It isn’t right, and he knows it. And in that frame of mind, a person like that could steal from a person they loved.

This guy will be going through a really tough road, and you leaving will not make that any easier. But you shouldn’t feel guilty for that. You have done nothing wrong, and you shouldn’t be punished for that. And I think you will be if you stay.

Best thing I could suggest is to make sure he has a list of people or resources that could help him to fix what he has done. And maybe once he has made good on his trespasses then you can maybe have a friendship and maybe a relationship again. But until that happens you need to worry about yourself and how much trouble this can land you in.

I hope you do well with what ever you choose, and if you need help finding resources for your boyfriend or for yourself, don’t hesitate to ask.

Brightest Blessings

~Xmichra.

Aunt Babz Said,

Get out while the getting's good!

A Little Help...

Dear Aunt Babz,

I have two nephews in their 20s who are getting out of jail in the next month or two. Alcohol and drug abuse put them there. They have had help in the past, but nothing sticks. Their problem started in High School. Is there some way that I could connect them with a mentor who has 'been there , done that' that is a boy in his 20s. I have their address in prison and can connect them. They are in Boise, ID.

I live in CA.

Thank you…

Heidi

Dear Heidi,

Doing a little digging, this is what I have managed to find:

Aade-Anger Alcohol & Drug Education in Boise, Idaho

Oxford House-Grant St in Boise, Idaho

AIS in Boise, Idaho

Mack M F Dr in Boise, Idaho

Lanzet Steven I LPC in Boise, Idaho

Barnett Michael in Boise, Idaho

Green Kathy Mac in Boise, Idaho

A-1 Judicial Evaluations in Boise, Idaho

Bird-Bishop Colleen Addictions Counselor in Boise, Idaho

Intermountain Hospital in Boise, Idaho

Cognitive Restructuring Associates in Boise, Idaho

Crossroads Mental Health Services Inc in Boise, Idaho

Steven Lcpc Filer P LMFT in Boise, Idaho

Idaho Board of Alcohol & Drug Councelor Certifictn in Boise, Idaho

Rich Mary Alice LPC in Boise, Idaho

The Aerie in Boise, Idaho

Alta Addiction Services in Boise, Idaho

Al-Anon Family Groups in Boise, Idaho

McConnel LESA MSW Csw-P Cadc in Boise, Idaho

Alcohol Education-Dui School-Victims Panel in Boise, Idaho

Wilson Tom Lcpc Anger Counselor in Boise, Idaho

There is a lot of resources out there and I know that you would like to have a specific person, however I do not have anyone in particular that would fit this criteria.

I would suggest AA/NA or Al-Anon for sure as a good source. They typically have all ranges of ages that can talk to people, and they also have a ton of branches in California (I don’t know which part you are from) so that if you would like to attend a few sessions then you could understand the things that you want to help with. People who are not alcoholics or drug users have a huge difficulty with understanding what a person has to go through when they go into rehab, so it is highly beneficial to you if you would attend a few sessions (or even remain in the group if it proves to be helpful) because Al-Anon is a support network for people who have loved ones who are substance abusers.

Also, if you wanted to try and make things a little narrower in the search, you might want to call 1-800-559-9503. It is a free 24 hour national (to the USA) addiction hotline, which deals with residential Inpatients, Detox, Interventions, Extended care and so on. If anything it is never wasted time to try and see what you can do.

Now, a word of warning.

I know that you have these two boys best interest at heart, and all you want is to try and do something to help them. But there are two factors in this that I want to address and would like you to consider:

1. These are your nephews. Have you discussed the issues with the parents? I only ask because if you over step your boundaries from the Aunt/Parent/ Child side of things, you can be looking for a world of hurt because you were “meddling”. Don’t get me wrong, I think that it is wonderful that you care so much for these two boys. But If experience has taught me anything, it’s that you don’t meddle in the affairs of a family unless you truly expect some recourse and are prepared to deal with the backlash. If this doesn’t apply to you (ie/ there are no parents involved, or have cut ties) then I don’t think there would be much of a problem. Just that if there are parents and they are involved with their children’s lives, I would run all this through them. It is much better to have a family of support when dealing with substance abuse, and if you go out on a limb you may be headed for trouble.
2. These boys are not boys. They are men. And although they may still behave like children for whatever life has brought down on them, they ultimately have to deal with the consequences of their actions. Maybe they will be okay this time around and not wind up back in the cycle of abuse. But they have to be willing to accept your offer of help for it to truly “work”. Make sure that you have talked to the two and that you are not causing yourself more pain in that regard. The two aren’t going to listen to some stranger because their aunt said so. So it is much better to be prepared and have talked with the boys before hand.

I really do wish you the best of luck, and hope that some of this has done some help. Please let us know if we have helped you at all, and let us know how the two boys make out.

Brightest Blessings,

~Xmichra.