This was sent to Aunt Babz via email...
Hmm. Well, it sounds to me like you are doing just fine not getting close to guys. Just keep on doing what you are doing and you will 100% never be close. But that alas, is what I think you might need to change to be happy.
See, I understand where you are coming from in regards to men. But the thing about living, is that you need to truly live… and by pushing people out you will not gain the full experience this life has to offer. I am dead serious here. I can hear the tone of this letter and I think that you are scared. And probably rightly so. There are a lot of untrustworthy, scummy assholes out there. The trick is to not become prey to them and not to become one of them.
You my dear, are someone who has made a few mistakes and has been burned as well. And with that comes a whole lot of doubt. I know this, because of tried and true experience. It’s hard to tell a woman (or man for that matter) that she will find truth and love and respect from a man when they had been burnt… like having their best friend sleep with their boyfriend of five years. Ya, I know all about the burn, and about the staying far far away from anything that seemed like it was relationship like.
But the reality was, I met a man later who I was great friends with. He was as good as gold, a real sweetheart and we had that fateful first kiss. I was never a girl who wanted to be married, have children, and buy a house. And yet that is all I could think would make my world once I kissed him… a whole life. It was a feeling I had, and thankfully ten years later I still do. It’s been a bumpy ride at times, don’t get me wrong.. but he is not one of “them”, and I get the feeling that maybe this guy you are developing feelings for isn’t either.
Cut the guy a little slack, and let him prove himself before you cut him out. I think you owe yourself the chance to be really happy, and the opportunity to change your mind.
You can't live in the "What If's." Let the guy know how you feel, from the git go, as to fooling around. You don't have to tell him, what you might do, but let him know, he needs only to be honest, if he's not happy, before he does something, he'll regret. There's a lot or little implication, huh?