Friday, November 03, 2006This was sent to Aunt B via email
I started talking to this guy online (something I have never done before,so it was new to me!)and after about two weeks we were talking and I think I made the boneheaded move and told him that I kinda liked him. Well after about another week he told me he had been talking to this other girl in his home town for awhile and they just started dating. My feels were of course hurt but I didn't tell him that. I told him I was happy for him.
We continued to talk just as friends of course, but it was really weird. Well he went to visit his girlfriend and on the way to visit his girlfriend (because she at college he calls me. And I didn't expect him to so it was really weird. And out of no where he tells me that if I see him online that he can't talk because he is going to be with his girlfriend and he doesn't want her to get the wrong idea about us. And we had already covered that we were just friends. I told him later that I thought he only Called to cover his ass! He said no he said it because the conversation wasn't going anywhere so he just said that. Out of anything he said that!!! Then I told him that I felt like when I talked to him I had to walk on egg shells and that is mad me mad,that could usually fix stuff like that but I can't fix this. (Of course I didn't feel like this until he got a girlfriend)
Now he isn't talking to me....AT ALL! What do it do? Just let it go? Is it a lost cause? That is what I'm starting to think.
Ms. Left Wondering
Aunt B said...
Dear Ms. Left Wondering,
Well, by the time you read this, you may well have changed your mind. But in the event that you haven't let me say that this sounds like a no win situation. But in all honesty, you may very well have set yourself up for this one without even knowing it.
I don't claim to be a psychic but I am highly intuitive, we'll call it. My gut instincts tell me that anything I say, concerning this, may not be what you want to hear. My instincts further tell me that you are in a very vulnerable place in your life. It also tells me that, normally, you would just blow this off and move on. But you are also a winner, thus, you feel like you've lost something. You allowed yourself to be wound up in this situation. But let me say this, the guy doesn't have a crystal ball, does he? He may very well have contacted you for one of two reasons; to make you jealous or to blow you off.
My gut tells me that it's not advisable,for you to get involved, any further with this guy. Unless I'm misunderstanding you, this guy may behave as if you'd be a partner in his crime of passion and is setting the stage of trying you to see if you'll tolerate it. You know, keep it on the hush hush, D.L. and I doubt that's what you really want.
As I said before, for whatever reason exists, I feel you are very vulnerable right now. Ask yourself, why is that and how to remedy that situation? It could be that you're ready to settle down? Don't let the first joker that comes along, put you in a pattern that is not healthy. It's a fact that there are so many fish in the sea, we just can't seem to see them because we have dark goggles on. Stand strong Girlfriend, you deserve a guy that has no bullshit on the plate. Please take my advice, get back into the Chat rooms if that's your option and find Mr. Right. I see nothing wrong with meeting someone on a Chat room or Dating Service. In fact, it's safe and it leaves the ol', "Judge a Book by it's cover," element into a fool-proof proposition of getting to know the guy first, BEFORE you can turn him down for his looks. You'll get to know the person on the inside before you'll fall for the outside and realize he has no inside, right? If I read this wrong, I invite you to explain further. If not, I encourage you to brush this guy off your persona and begin again, a fresh start with no games.
Please leave a comment, stay in touch and update me, ok? Take care,
Ms. Left Wondering!
Keeping it Real,