Time Heals All Wounds

This was sent to Aunt Babz via email...

Dear Aunt Babz,

me and this boy Jake have been friends for almost a year now. we have gotten really close and i consider him my go to person when i have a problem. in this time he has fallen as more than a friend for me. he says hes in love with me but i dont look at him like that. i had sex with one of his friends that i really like. he found out and wont talk to me. i tried apologizing and all he says is to leave him alone and how bad i hurt him and how much in love with me he is. now all i want is my friend back. i miss him and want him to forgive me. but all he wants is me to be his girlfriend or nothing at all. i dont know what to do. please help me

Dear Friend,

Quite the dilemma, huh? I'm not sure if there's an easy answer here. I am having a hard time, telling you what to do, other than to write him and tell him, that you appreciate the fact that he cares for you but you can be only friends. If he won't talk to you, there's no other answer than to write him. In that letter you can tell him, that you never meant to hurt him but in all due reality, he is not your boyfriend, so how could you foresee, that you would hurt him. You must tell him, that you are certainly flattered that he favors you but right now, you did not want to entertain any other feelings but friendly ones.

See, we can't make him let go of his feelings. If he loves you and means it, it would hurt him, to see you with anyone else. But those are his feelings and you can only let him know that you are sorry if it hurt him. You must stress to him that you want only to remain friends and as his friend, you would never knowingly hurt him. Tell him to please accept your apology as you value his friendship.

I don't think there's much more you can do. Time heals all wounds, this much is true. So, apologize, if you hurt him and hope that he will realize that it is not your fault if he is angry with you. Those are his feelings and while you respect them, he really has no right to be angry.

You said, "i miss him and want him to forgive me," make sure you tell him this.

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