Hello Aunt B,
I was wondering if you could please assist me in finding an answer to this problem.
I am an older women (in my forties) and I have been divorced for 3 years. In that time frame, I have fallen in love with one of my best friends. The issue: he is only 36 and I am 42. I know that doesn't seem like a lot, but to me it is.
We are similar in the fact that we like the same things, he makes me laugh, and he appreciates me.
All through my life I have had male friends. Each one has gotten a girl friend and then for at least 2 years, have place me on the back burner. I have accepted this. It is what makes them happy.
All my friends and family want to see me happy. But I was miserable with my marriage of 12 years, and I am afraid that I will mess up my friendship which I have if we proceed with sharing our true feelings.
What are your thoughts?
Half of me, has trepidation, as you have. Half of me says go for it. The latter half should win.
I am 48 and was going out with a guy who was 35. Chris made me laugh, always made me smile. Did everything and anything in the world for me. I will not tell that story here but you can read about it. I'd do it all over again, in a New York minute.
Love Knows No Age.
I say; Go For It. You only live once. If he makes you smile, makes you laugh, that's the secret to life. Don't over analyze things. That's our problem, sometimes, is we think too much and not with our heart. Listen to the "small still voice." Do you have a good feeling, when you think about him or do you have a sick feeling, in the pit of your stomach, when you think of him? If you have a good feeling, then go with it, no holes barred. Give the relationship your all and enjoy it.
Friends always make the best relationships, in the first place. I mean really, if you think about it, most relationships that don't work, is usually because you were not really friends. You must enjoy their company, love talking to them, have lots to talk about and much in common. If you meet a guy and it is lustful from the start, as many relationships are but have nothing to talk about, this is when you're in trouble. Quite frankly, how long can sex last and then, you're left to your own device. I mean, if all you have in common is great sex, that's all you will ever have. But out of 24 hours, with the equation of subtracting one hour, per say, for sex, you're left with 23 hours to find some common ground. If you have nothing to say to each other, you really have no relationship. Bed pals, rarely stay together but friends do and it's actually a prerequisite for a successful relationship.
I say the heck with age, give him a run for his money, enjoy today and enjoy life!