Saturday, June 2, 2007

Be That Woman

This was sent to Aunt B via email...

I feel like I'm sexually trapped with this guy. i love him and all, but he's
not my boyfriend yet i still have sex with him and it alwayz hurtz me cuz i
recently lost my virginity to him and after him i haven't been wit anybody
for 4 monthz and when we met up again, we did it and it hurt worse then da
first time. i really dont wanna have sex wit him cuz i alwayz feel awkward
after but i feel so weak. i dont know wat to do. any advice? i feel so
trapped. i neva had deez problems wen i was 16. im 18 now and feel like one
of those naive 16 yr olds that lyfe jennings be singin about in dat S.E.X
song. plz hellp me wit some kinda wordz of encouragement or wisdom. i keep
praying but i still dont see no way out.

Dear G-Friend,
Well, my dear, you are plotting out a life of undo able harm to yourself, if you continue down this path.You are allowing this guy to train you, as concubine. Now, that may sound harsh but do not think I speak about anything I have not experienced my self. I had sex with guys simply because I was afraid to say no. They might not like me then or maybe, they would be mean. Often times, I really wanted nothing to do with them but they would come on to me and I had such a hard time saying no.
You must begin to value yourself and your virtue. It is not to be handed to any one, whenever they want it. That cheapens you and you are the one that is hurt by it. You must learn that, your body is yours and giving this to someone you don't even really care about, well they have a saying, "Why buy the cow, when you get the milk free." That means, why should he court you, show you any kind of respect or even caring conversation, if you'll give him what he wants, free of charge, no strings attached.

Most guys would just love to find somebody, they will call, "Easy," behind your back. You are not easy, you are just misguided.

Is it possible, that you are lonely and you seek the attention of anyone, just love me please? I did. They didn't love me, they simply used me. Not all of course but more than I care to admit. I thought if I gave in to their sexual needs, they would like me. many, too many girls think this. Quite often, they cry and are in pain, once they realize or hear how the guy talked about what a sleeze they were, what a joke and what a bimbo.

Don't be their Bimbo. I guarantee, you will not die alone. You will find the right guy, one who appreciates you, when and if, you guard your virtue. See, most guys do not respect an easy chick. They get what they want and move on to the next. They don't take you seriously and do not consider you girlfriend material. You have done this to yourself and you're not even aware of it.

Now, look carefully at this next word;


Now, practice saying it over and over. Envision saying it and walking away from this guy that is actually taking advantage of a good thing. Put on your Bitch Belt and walk away. You will see the power in the word, once you say it. You must not fold. You'll find another guy. Don't be desperate and your desperate look will disappear. I guarantee, if you stand up to this guy and say no, the worst thing to happen is he calls you a sleeze or whatever. Now, if that were to happen, you claim it and say, "You bet your ass, I am." Never let them make you cringe.Guys do not pray on an assertive woman. Be that woman.

1 comment:

Xmichra said...

Another piece of this is that this was the first guy you have ever had sex with. And that is a highly emotional journey. This feeling of "love" is actually a connection that you have had on the most intimate of levels...and you need to realize that real and true love makes friends, not fuck buddies. (sorry for the term).

You are in a spot where plenty of women have been, so don't feel ashamed or stupid. It really IS hormones. I know that sounds like an excuse.. but i assure you it's not.

Take Aunt B's advice on owning your person. Look in that mirror aand see your worth. Take this experience and try and make it a good memory, instead of a victimised one (which i fear is where this would hear should you continue).

Also, make sure you get tested for STD's... just because you haven't been promiscuous doesn't mean he hasn't been. And It never did anyone any harm being too careful.