Dear Aunt B,
My husband was recently arrested for drugs and other charges but there was a court order in place for visitation for my kids but he is in jail and my mother in law insist that she will come get them but do i have to let them go because the visitation was for my husband?
I am not in the Legal biz but I do know enough to know that the visitation is what the court order says. If it does not list her name, she does not have the right to visitation. If she wants visitation, she can petition the courts but until said time, she has no legal ground.
Now, the other side of the coin. Only you know the reason, why you do not want your children, to go there, with your Mother-in Law. If it is because they may be exposed to something, wrong or illegal, I say, stand your ground. Make her take you to court and then you give the judge the reasoning behind your refusal.
If you are just being spiteful and I have seen this before, remember that she is their family too. I have been placed in the same scenario. My granddaughter will be 9 in August. I have not laid eyes on her since she was a toddler. She has Cystic Fibrosis. It is gut wrenching to worry and wonder how she is. I know this pain, of not being able to see MY grandchild. Those children are yours and as their Mother, you must, at all times, do what is in their best interest. Ask yourself, if you are being spiteful, unreasonable or malicious? If you have a valid reason, it is understandable. But if you do not, please look at.
I am a mother bear and would die or kill for my children. But we can not be too overbearing. We must have a balance and give them wings. Just because you and your husband, are on the outs, does not cut the ties that bind. Family is important for children. If there's a true reason for your fears, look at them, make sure they are valid and go from there.
If you are simply being a mother bear, you must see that for them to make it, they must see the forest and they must wander a bit. Keeping an eye on their welfare, is good but do not be over bearing or malicious.