Real Deal

This is a post update, from this post;
Real Men Don't Fool Around

Dear Aunt Babz,

Okay soo.... I have advice to ask of you again...

soo... me and my ex are planning a trip for about two or three days out of

state...

but... thinking about it... I dont know how much i actually wanna do that...

cause its like, I want to go, and just be alone with him, and just kind

of... I guess figure everything out with him away from everything and

everyone else, but then again..... I dont know how I would feel if something

did happen... Because he isn't trustworthy, he is such a liar, and a total

player, but then again, like I have been saying, I really really love him,

which I know, makes no sense, but whatever.

But what do you think?

Think this is smart, and should I even be open to anything happening again

or what?

Dear Friend,

I think, only you can answer all this. But I can help you process it. Part of it, is that element of the unknown. Part of it, is if you are willing to chance him hurting you again. Part of it is that damn love, that's blind, crippled and crazy. I know, I've been in it.

I firmly believe, you've outgrown this guy. There was a side of you, that wanted to fix him and help take care of him. I've been guilty, in the past of, "Mothering," my men and we are the kind of woman to give it our all, fix it, make it better and so on. I want you to ask yourself, if this is what's been going on and you've over looked the obvious because you are not a quitter. What's the obvious?

You are already aware and have observed that this guy, and I quote, " isn't trustworthy, he is such a liar, and a total player." Those are key issues, are they not? I mean, if you don't have trust, can't get the truth and expect him to behave like he's the Pimp Playa, what do you have? Nada!

Take a look at what it really is, that keeps you thinking about him, as partner potential. Is it because he's good in bed? You can't stay in bed but for so long, right? Is it because he's elusive and you like bad boys? I know I did. If the guy, just fell into me and I didn't have to work at it, I chewed him up and spit him out. Nice guys do not make it in my world or they didn't used to.

But we must work at being happy. A guy can be all those things but if he can't be trusted, you have nothing. I do not believe it is an honorable trait to fool around. Somewhere along the line, men were taught that it's how we do do things. It's crap, if you ask me. Guys don't realize it but we're on to them. The only reason they fool around is because they have a low sense, of self-esteem and need it fluffed. As I said before, a real man does not need to fool around, to make him feel like a man. It's not really all sexual, so I believe most of it, is so they feel like big men.

In the real world, there resides, Real Men. They are the kind of man, who are trustworthy, honest, stand-up guys, who are as good as their word. You owe it to yourself, to find one.

I believe your match, will be a guy who respects you, enjoys engaging conversation, is not intimidated by your professional side and loves you, for who you are. You know, you have that sassy side, he'll respect you for it. As soon as you begin to realize that this Playa is an illusion of a man, the sooner, you'll be able to see the Real Deal. No, he's not Mr.GQ and you may not see him at first. You've been busy looking at the wrong kind of guy. No, he's not all that good looking but he'll treat you like the woman you are and appreciate you. He's hiding in plain site or he will be. Watch for him.