Find Happiness

This was sent to Aunt Babz via email...

Dear Babs,

this is my first time using this but I need help.. you see my ex boyfriend I love him and all but I'm not in love with him any more I'm 19 years old and he’s 21 his father died when he was 10 years old.. so really he has just his mom, but I've had problems with her we just don’t get along.. and all he does is do nothing but have everything given to him by his mother.. so I'm the one that bust my butt working a real job.. I went out with him for about 2 ½ years and I came to a conclusion that this isn’t the life and future I want.. I tell him that I love him and care for him but I don’t lead him on b/cuz I don’t want to hurt him.. but when we do see each meaning if he knows I'm somewhere he’ll be there in 10 mins without me even knowing that I know he knows where I am.. and he always makes me have a guilt trip.. no I didn’t cheat. I was there. He says I act different when I'm with my friends . he constantly calls my friends.. he goes by my house like stalker type but not abusive.. leaves notes , he goes to my house to see if my car is there. I just don’t know what to do anymore please help me..

Dear Friend,

We all have the right to be happy. If you are honest, which you must be, you will have guilt free, happiness.

I already have the sneaking suspicion, that this guy is so controlling. Love is one thing but to feel you're in a constant state of distrust because of his jealousies, is not healthy. If he's like this now, I just can't imagine him, in a few years or if you were to give in and get married or something.

My suggestion is for you to begin to move away from the sticky situation, you're in, right now. I think that may start with, honesty. You may have to sit him down and tell him, exactly how you feel. Do it in a public place, if possible. What I mean by that, is I just have this feeling, that he's not going to take it well. If you are in a quiet restaurant and you are exact, about your feelings, he's less likely to go off.

I'm afraid that, you may have to cut off all ties, to this fellow, once you've made up your mind to do it. I don't think there's a good chance of friendship, in the wake of your telling him, exactly how it is.

I do think you owe it to yourself, to find happiness. You also owe it to him, to be honest and then move on, as painlessly as possible.