Dear Aunt B,
I've always been like one of the guys and I just got to know one of them this year and I think he's great. When I say 'I'm so fat' he says, 'no you're not'. He likes to sit with me in our classes and at lunch he lets me sit at his table or if it's crowded we sit alone at my old abandoned table. I think I like him but I'm not sure if he likes me back. I was talking to his sister and I asked how he was doing because I haven't talked to him for 2 months. She said good, he misses you. And then she said not like that like friends. And I said tell him I miss him too. But I think I missed hanging out with him and being around him. I'm not sure If I like him as just a friend, and I'm not sure if he likes me more than a friend. HELP!
I imagine, if you like him, that much, why keep it all bottled inside? Devise a plan, to speak with him and maybe go out. Really, what do you have to lose?
You have to live on the edge sometimes, now don't you? Putting things into perspective; What would happen, if you speak with him and ask him out?
- He tells you, he only likes you as a friend
- He begins to see you differently, on your date
- He tells you, to go scratch
If #2 were to happen, which is a good possibility, if you play your cards right, you might win. Body language speaks and if you go out, having a persona of a sexy young woman, desirable with dignity, a noteworthy and attractive possibility, he will see you, as you really are. He apparently likes you and your company. By the way, the best couples, the ones with longevity, were best friends first.
Well, #3, we won't even entertain, ok?
Obviously, you must have a bit of a self-esteem issue, right? You've looked for validation, from someone else. This is normal. Do you feel fat? be honest with yourself, improve what you can, on every level and accept who you are. Once you've done this, things and how people perceive you, will change. I suggest, reading any post, labeled "Empowerment," or Empowerment Practices," as a good start. You are not the first, to feel this way and you won't be the last. You can certainly win though and I'm betting on you. Do your homework, on assertive women and any posts like it, on this site alone. You will win, just about anything, if you can become assertive and honest with yourself.
Why is self-honesty important? When we can look in the mirror, assess ourselves, improve on the improvable and become comfortable in our own skin, how can anybody, really hurt us? I mean, if you've been brutally honest with yourself, done what you could, to be a good person and they still don't accept you, like you or want to have a relationship with you, it's not on you, it's on them.
We all have different tastes, in the opposite sex and so on but if you are the true woman, I know you can be and they don't have interest in you, do not take it personally. You just are not their flavor. But Mr. Right will come along and he'll like what he sees. He'll have good taste, I guarantee it!