Change the Subject

Hi Aunt B,
I've just come back from a long holiday in California and while i was there i met a really nice guy, he's my cousins friend. During my stay i lived with my cousin who lives with this guy so i got to know him really well. He is a real gentleman and we had so much in common and he always found a way to make me laugh even if i was upset. The only problem now is that i won't see him again for a very long time and i don't know how to get over him. When i wake up the first thing i think about is him and i start calculating the time difference wondering what he might be doing on the other side of the world. All i can talk about is him as well, when i got back everyone was asking how the holiday was and all my stories some how revolved around him. I start thinking about him all the time because everything seems to remind me of him like when i hear some of the songs that i heard while i was in the car with him. I can't seem to get him out of my head but i really need to because i can't have these lingering thoughts in my head, now that i'm back i need to get back on track with my life here in England and i can't just go off into thoughts about him. When i think about him it makes me really upset and depressed because i know its very likely that i won't see him again. Please give me some advice on how i can stop thinking about him so much and move on because i know there's no point thinking what could have been because its just not going to happen.
Thanks Lyn.


Dear Lyn,

Gosh Lyn, that's kinda sad, huh? I mean I really feel for you, feel your heartache. But I imagine you've weighed every possible aspect of any continuity of this relationship? Yes, that's quite the leap across the pond from England to California. That's a damn shame though because it sounds to me like the kind of guy you really need; One who makes you laugh in the darnedest of moments.

I am a firm believer that all things happen for a reason. You met this fella for a reason. In turn, that answer will one day reveal itself to you. Could that reason be that it made you look at relationships in a different way? What I am referring to is the possibility that this guy was not what we could/would deem your "normal kind of choice." What I am trying to say is that somehow I feel that this type of guy is not within the scope of guys you would have dated in the past?

There absolutely is no real answer to this except to say that all you can do is begin to date guys, looking for Mr.Right, that same kind of guy that has a good sense of humor and similar qualities to this fella in California. Is he at the bowling alley/gaming facility?

Time heals all wounds but you must do what you can to remain busy, keeping your mind occupied. Of course you want to think about him and your time with him, your psyche just delights in it. But try not to entertain these thoughts. Do yourself a favor and every time he pops into your mind, try to think of something else instead of entertaining thoughts about him. I know it's a tall order but do your best to occupy your mind. Find a new hobby, begin dating again and it's just a matter of time till this man walks into your life. You will laugh again...

I wish I could offer up a better solution. The only thing you can do is try to change the subject, if only in your mind.


Keeping It Real,

Aunt Babz