IMing It

We hope you all had a wonderful holiday.
Aunt B is extremely behind because of the holidays. Please be patient. Thank You!!!

Dear Aunt B,

I'm currently in grade 12 and I really like this guy a lot; let's call him Andy. Andy and I are friends and we have 2 classes together so I get to see him everyday. Anyway, I really want him to like me and I don't think he likes me more than a friend and sadly, we're not that great friends either but I do openly talk to him though since I'm not shy or anything. Eventhough I'm not shy, I am shy when it comes to flirting or making a move and one thing's for sure; he's definately the shy and quiet type. Some of my friends think I should make the first move. They want me to casually ask him out and I am planning to ask him to work on our homework together but nothing official. Anyway, I'm afraid of rejection and I dont want him to turn me down. Also, the main problem is I know he gave up dating since I have him on my facebook and he's in this group, 'I kissed dating goodbye' and also, 'I said hello to courtship'. I think this is because things ended badly with his ex. If that wasn't hopeless enough for me, he's a different race and religion, which I have no problem with but he may, I'm not really sure. He asked me to go to church with him and his friend once in class once but I said no... Yes, VERY stupid of me!! I just said no even without thinking because I never went to a church before and I wish I said yes so badly!! Anyways, he doesn't really show that much interest in me but two of my friends think he does like me. Here's one of our conversations through facebook messaging:

Andy

November 23 at 8:52pm

hey SA did you finish the english work?

SA

December 23 at 9:04pm

:O wowww.. this msg was oooldd.. lol andrew I usually dont ever check my fb inbox!! ...and..noo i didnt finish my eng work =] u readin the book?

Andy

December 24 at 1:20am

nope lol but im going to start...how is florida?

SA

December 24 at 2:38pm

It was awesomee! the weather was soo perfect!! anywayz Merry Xmas!!! =) ..well i think itz xmas eve soo merry xmas eve?? =S

Aunt B, I'm showing you this conversation to show you that he doesn't seem to have that much interest in me because he's late in replying. Is there a way to make him like me? and do you think I should maybe flirt with him? I don't really know how to but I can give it a try. I really want him to ask me out and it's kind of obvious I like him!! My friends kinda make it obvious and I clearly sit behind him instead of with my friends in both of the classes we have together so that also kind of obvious too. If it's obvious and he isn't making a move, I guess it means he's not interested, right?

~SA



Dear SA,

I see what makes this difficult for you, but you have to grab the bull by the horns and not be afraid of rejection. Because really, the worst this guy will say is no... and that isn’t really all that bad if you keep it in the comfort zone.

If I were you I would maybe re-look at the going to church thing (if you don’t mind, if it isn’t against your beliefs) and just ask “hey, I know you asked me before and I said no, but I would actually enjoy going to church with you to see what it is like, do you mind If I come with you?” ,something like that. It will open up a dialogue at any rate, and you can go from there.

Don’t get all religiously involved if that isn’t your thing, but to show an interest in what he values is a good thing. As for the Facebook messages, I wouldn’t get too over anxious about that. I know plenty of people who don’t check that inbox as often... and to join a group is no biggy either.

Maybe this guy did get burned and isn’t looking to get hurt... but I have yet to meet a person who really has sworn off dating when they were so young. Don’t be afraid to go for what you want though, or the only thing you will have is the regret of not trying.

Good luck!

~Xmichra