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This was sent to Aunt Babz via email...
Dear Aunt B,
I am really stuck. My mother has been seeming a bit depressed lately, so I am having to take care of myself for a while. I am okay with that, but my father has been taking advantage of her, so she just usually sits in her room all day. My father won't let me talk to my peers, and anyone really. He started to home school me about three months ago. I was never allowed a phone at all, or a computer. The one I am using is for school work only. If I get caught using it for anything else except school work I am in big trouble. My father hits me all the time, but he calls it disipline so I am not sure if it is legal or not. I can't call the police, because my father says it costs $150 and I can't pay that. He forces me to sex with him and his friends sometimes, even when I am only 13 years old. My father always told me that since I was his daughter he was allowed to do whatever he wanted with me whenever he wanted to. It just bothers me a lot and I am not sure what I should do.
Signed, Bothered and Confused
Dear Bothered & Confused,
I am more than concerned for you. I wish I was there to give you a big hug and tell you everything's gonna be ok. I can't stand the thought of you going through this. We will do everything, within our power to help you, just say the word. We will always be hear for you and yes, Xmichra, Soulseer and myself, are all willing to help you, you just need to extend your hand and grab hold.
No, the things your Father is doing are not right, morally or legally. It is against the law, for him to hit you and it does not cost a thing, to call the Police, I don't care where you live. But even worse, the sexual assault is appalling and wrong. It is so wrong, that he can and will go to Prison for a long time, if he is caught. It is against the law and it sickens me, to think he'd subject you to this, not to mention having sex, with his friends.
If all you say is true, what he is doing by home schooling you, I believe is called, "Isolation." He is keeping you away from the world and your outlet and resources for two reasons; to guard his nasty, dirty secret and to keep you in a state of helplessness and panic, where you feel you need him. To survive, of course you need him or so it may seem.
I was raped, so I do have an idea, how you feel. Maybe, you think you deserve it or he has the right cause he's your Dad? He doesn't and the law says he doesn't, society says he doesn't
Maybe, you love your Father? Maybe, you don't realize just how wrong it is, exactly what he is doing to you? It is more than wrong and the worst of the worst but it is not your fault. You've done nothing wrong and I hope you realize this.
- Now, it's fairly simple; You can call the Police, in your area and they will immediately remove you from the situation. They will be more than willing to help you. You just need to make the call. Yes, what he is doing is wrong, it's illegal and as I said, it is morally wrong.
- If you can not call, You can email me your address, which I will not make public, of course and I will send the Police/Authorities for you.
We always have choices, my Dear, always. You can make the choice to change this situation and I guarantee, your life will change, with just one phone call or by sending me your address. In turn, this may also help your Mother? I mean, if he's been hurting her, as well, you hold the key to unlocking that power over you both. Use the key. Yes, use the key and email me your address.
I have already spoken to the Authorities here. They'd be glad to help you and your Mother and will gladly refer you or do whatever it takes. One phone call and they will come and remove your Dad. Just that quick. Make the choice to help, you and your Mother and to end this awful thing, he's doing to you.
You may think that you love your father? I don't know? But what he is doing, to you, is so wrong that, it would take only one phone call and they would come and arrest him. If he loved you, he would not, could not do this to you. No, as your father, he never has the right to touch you and it is more than wrong, as well, for him to allow his friends to have sex with you. Please listen to me; It is so wrong.
It is all up to you now. As I said, you hold the key to your freedom. You hold the key to helping your Mother as well. Send me your address and within 24 hours or less, it'll all be over. No more hurt, no more pain, no more sexual molestation. let me help you, please?
If you are unsure or you need to think about it, I am always here for you, no matter what. You can call my machine on 4/29/08(This number is disabled but you may write me at email@example.com)(631)292-5005 or you can email me and I promise to help you. Send me your address and I will take care of the rest.
It is a felony for him to molest and rape you and all those, that have had sex with you, will also be arrested, jailed and thrown in Prison. What they are doing is wrong and beyond despicable. I pray you don't get pregnant or catch a life threatening disease such as AIDS/HIV. This would only compound this tragedy.
If your Father loves you, he wouldn't harm you as he is. He may not even realize that what he is doing, is so wrong. I have a feeling he does know but doesn't care. He is lying to you and himself, if he says or thinks that what he is doing is right or even within his rights, as your father.
I will say it again; you hold the key...use it. Call me, call the Police or email me right away and I will take care of the rest. I am here and will always be here for you.Please let me help you!!
Keeping It Real,
Your letter has me extremely worried. If this is happening to you, I can tell you for certain that you need to seek help and fast.
First of all I would like to point out that it costs nothing to call the police. NOTHING. You are under the age of majority, which means that any cost (legal or otherwise) would be covered from your state/province/etc from anything that would come of this. You would be protected, and that is the whole point. To gain protection.
You are right to be concerned about your mother, if she is indeed in a depressed state, she needs help as well. And not the kind a letter from us can help. She will need medical attention, and I think that you know this and want to help her. So when you seek help, make sure to take note of this, because she needs you as much as you need her.
Making another thing absolutely clear, you are not a possession. Your father doesn’t own you, and cannot treat you the way that he has. It is a crime to do what he has done, regardless of your age. You are your own person, and you do not have to be touched by ANYONE if that is what you want. You could be 13 or 113, makes no matter. If you are not wanting that type of touching, it is illegal. In your case it is also child abuse because of your age, and that is also a crime. You need to seek help from the authorities as quickly as you can. Do not be afraid, they will help you.
If you need more advice as to who you need to talk too, then babs and I will need a little more detail as to where you live (as in country, region, etc) so that we can tell you where you need to go exactly. We have promised that all letters be confidential on this site, but if you need more help and need someone, we are here for you. We will not post anything further, and we will work with you to get the help you need. Please take this advice, and make sure that you are protecting yourself. You need help, and we can help you if you let us.Wishing You the Best,