Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Birthday Blues

This was sent to Aunt Babz via email...

Hi Aunt B,i

I'm writing to you because i really need an intelligent opinion on something.i have this guy friend and we dont speak too often but a couple nights ago he actually called me basically to complain about me not giving him a call for his birthday.honestly i didnt think he deserved a call and i didnt even think he would notice because we dont keep regula contact with each other.my friends say maybe he was a bit hurt by it but i dont see how thats possible when we,re not even that close. so can you help me understand this?

Dear Aleah,

I have to say, I think his behavior was a bit immature and I do side with you, concerning this. In the first place, you owe him nothing, not even a Birthday wish. When we do give someone a Birthday wish, it's not because we owe them, understand?

Your friend is not the only one who behaves badly, when their time comes around. I've seen it countless times and their demeanor is borderline ridiculous. I've see people who expect the day off for their Birthday and they expect everyone, to bend over backwards to point break.

I think this all stems from childhood and having Birthday celebrations. We, more or less teach our children, of course, that it's their special day but that we should be treated in and with a celebratory tone. Some of us grow up, some don't. Some still think, just as they did when they were children. Apparently, your friend has not matured to that level, where he realizes, hell it's really just another day.Hey, it's time to grow up!

Some of us, have different values and belief systems. Some of us take things, such as Birthday's and holidays more seriously than others. I've known people, close to me, who'll send you a card for every holiday, while I'm barely able to get Christmas cards every year. Now, you must respect their fervor for such things but they can't expect you to have the same vim and vigor, when it comes to such matters.

I imagine, the only thing you can do or say to your friend, is that those things are not that important to you and you'd not realized that they were to him. You simply apologize for your faux paus and tell him, you'd hope he'd realize that you certainly never meant to slight him. Then, to nip it in the bud or make your point, you simply say, "I've not really celebrated Birthday's since I grew up." That will make him see, just how juvenile, he's behaving, without you even appearing to imply it.

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