One Choice

This was sent to Aunt Babz via email...

Dear Aunt B.,

I went to go use the computer today and my dad left his screen name up by accident. There was an Instant Message from some woman calling him baby. Since he had left it up by accident basically all it said was Why aren't you talking? Are you angry, Baby? I don't really know what to think of this, but the only people in my life I call "Baby" are relatives and significant others. My father is still married to my mother, the only problem is he has cheated on her before. I don't know whether I should confront him about this or just go straight to my mother? Please Aunt B. what should I do?

Dear Friend,

I imagine you feel like you're in a bit of a pickle, huh? You must be careful, lest this all backfires on you.

I don't know how close you are with your Dad? If you are close enough to confront him, speak to him about this, I would. You might even write him a letter, telling him what you know and suspect and tell him to do the right thing by your Mother or you will/must tell her what you know. By doing this, it gives him the option of going to your Mother and making things right.

I feel, if you confront him yourself, he would probably deny it anyway. By writing him and telling him, what you know, this might give him a chance to evaluate the situation and come clean, end that relationship or to go to your Mom and be honest.

If you go to your Mom, with this info, your Father will forever resent you, it would be a natural course in behavior. If you write him and only give him the option to go and be honest, with your Mom, he will be forced to handle it on his own. Make him aware that he has this chance to take care of business or you, out of love and loyalty to your own Mother, be forced to brief her on the matter at hand.

I would make it clear to Dad, in that letter, that he is wasting his breath by telling you that nothing is going on, so he has but one choice and that is to do the right thing.

Let him know, that you love him but you love your Mother as well and what he is doing is down right dirty. He can make it right on his own or you will.

Wishing You the Very Best,

Aunt Babz