Re-Post from Sunday, July 8, 2007
Quite often, I tell people, who write me, to handle things, by writing a letter, to the person, they are having difficulties with. I say this for a reason. I hate to repeat myself, but will for your benefit;
Have you ever, been in an argument and you can't get a word in edge wise? Ever been knee deep, in debate and you're so angry, you say exactly what you don't mean? Ever had an argument and walked away mad and thought to yourself, later that you wished you'd said this or that? I know I have. Now, it is human nature, when we argue, to take a defensive stance. Quite often, any and all of what we say, is lost in the heat of the moment, lost in translation. It may fall on deaf ears because the person we have the tiff or disagreement with, is pissed off and is only thinking of a snappy and snide comeback. Often times, arguing only results in bad feelings. Many a relationship, has been severed and suffered because of a simple argument. If we learn to fight fair, say what we mean, mean what we say and try not to say it mean, we might get somewhere. Often times though, we tackle an iffy situation, even with the best of intention, only to make things worse because of our temper. How do I know this? I have learned this the hard way, as I have a terribly short fuse and tend to say really nasty things, when I'm angry. Thus, I must "Sabotage Myself."
I learned to shut my big mouth, calm down, take a cleansing breath, maybe wait a few hours or a few days, even and then I place a pen in my hand, instead of a proverbial knife. Words do and can cut like a knife and can be much likened to a double edged sword. Words are more powerful, than we realize or give credit to and they can make or break even the strongest.
Our choice of words can actually be life changing, life altering and life building. If we behaved more responsibly with our words, this world, of course, would be a better place. But it is a golden egg, for someone, to grow enough to finally realize before the damage has been done, to choose their words carefully.
By writing a letter, we can face our fears, we can address, things calmly and we can choose those words, with all their/it's power, in check. We may orchestrate what needs to be said, how it is said and we are afforded, the choice of wielding this power, unbridled, unobstructed, undisturbed.
If you are in a nasty argument with someone, you can't say half of what needs to be said and or how it should be said. But with a letter, you have that person, (hostage, hah, just kidding) in an audience. They can read it and re-read it. it is proven that more is retained by reading something, first hand. The impact of your words and phrase, prose and stance can not be be undermined. More importantly, that person, with whom you may have had an altercation with, is not in your face, no nasty words are exchanged, no one dies.
Keeping It Real,
(This is an excerpt from this post...Guilt Trip 101; The Mother-in-Law)
Posted by Ask Aunt B at 12:47 PM
Labels: Why Write A Letter???
"Even the most brilliant minds, may have troubled Souls"