Virtual Scorecard

Hi Aunt B,

I am 14 and I really like this guy he's so cute. He wants to have sex and when we go places he always wants me to go some place else and he tries to fool around. I told him no but he just smiles and feels me up and stuff. I laugh but I am nervous really bad. I worry he will get me in a place. I worry he will push me to have sex. What can I say to him or tell him. I am scared and really worried cause I don't have birth control. I think I love him and I don't want him to leave me for some girl who will do it. What can I do?I tried to find some things you might have wrote about it but couldn't find it. I wish you were my Mom cause I'd be able to talk to you. My Mom will only yell at me. I need your help please? Is mb3 a guy? Is he cute or your son? I think he's a guy right? Maybe he can tell me? I hope so and I thank you aunt b. I know you are busy and all but I hope you can find time to write for me.

Chianna



Dear Chianna,

Hi, how are you? Well, first thing, don't go anywhere with him alone, I mean where there are no people. Also, don't let him force you into anything you're not comfortable doing. He needs to respect that. He needs to respect you saying no. But you know, there are plenty of guys out there that will respect your desires. They will not try to force you into anything. This guy sounds like he just wants sex, not so much a relationship. You can do better than him, and you deserve better than him. I know it will be hard losing him, and I know it will be hard seeing him with somebody else, but do you really want to be with somebody that doesn't respect you? Somebody that seems to only want to be with you for sex? I mean, you deserve somebody who will respect you. And, yes I am a guy. I think I'm pretty cute :), and no, I'm not Aunt B's son. But I do hope to have helped a bit, take care. Peace. mb3

Dear Chianna,

I thank you for writing and I do apologize for the delay. I hope nothing has happened since you first wrote to me.Somehow your letter was deleted and I happened to find it while I was looking for another thing I deleted.

I only have a couple things to say on top of what mb3 has already stated. First, just to let you know that most guys, especially in the teen years, well all they do is think about sex. A study showed that men think of sex at least every 90 minutes. I've not read about teen young men but I'd be willing to bet it's more often than that.

However, just because they think about it does not mean that you must give in to their advances. Now, I'm not saying your guy is like this but a lot of guys have a virtual scorecard as to how many chicks they can sleep with. They sleep with them and toss them to the side. Don't be one of those on the scorecard.

Believe it or not, a lot of those guys will bed you down and the reason they toss you to the side is for several reasons. Most of them immediately lose respect for you. Yea, now they see you as easy, a slut, just another score on that card. Sex is overrated and once it's done it's done, meaning once you've allowed it to happen you can never take it back or the experience.

Your first time with a man should be a memorable event. It should be where you've made love not made sex like a wild gorilla. And there is a distinct difference between making love and having sex.

More importantly, every time you sleep with some guy, even with a condom on, you take the chance of several things happening; getting pregnant, getting a disease, getting a reputation. So what I am saying is that you hold out and hold on to your rep. If he can't wait and respect your wishes to wait, first to get to a place where you know it's love, if he can't respect how you feel, he's just another punk on the make.
Keeping It Real,

Aunt Babz

"Even the most brilliant minds, may have troubled Souls"