Follow Your Heart

Dear Aunt B,

First of all I would like to thank you for this great opportunity to express my self! I am in Africa and it’s been 4 years since I realised I am gay. Am a 21 year old college student my problem Auntb is that here in Botswana Gay people are not welcome and am always in doors afraid if what people will say about me. But recently i have been encountering strong sexual emotions and i really want someone in ma life! What should i do Auntb?

Dear Gay in Botswana:

Without going into what i feel you should do, I do first and foremost want to warn you. I do not think this is right, but in your situation I will caution you to be extremely discreet in any homosexual activity, given the laws in your land.
According to chapter 8.01, 164 to 167 of the legal code, homosexuality is an "unnatural tendency" and can be punished with up to seven years of imprisonment. Acts of gross indecency are also punishable according to this article.

I do not personally agree with this law, and would encourage you to seek help from the local Lesbians, Gays and Bisexuals of Botswana (LEGABIBO) but in doing so you may put yourself in danger. So be careful.

How to go about the actions of “being gay” and that is to say just live your life, will largely be effected by the law and what you can do to prevent being prosecuted. This is so wrong.. I am having troubles even telling you these things, because I believe in equal rights for all people. But you need to get advice from an organization that knows the laws and how to get around them if you plan on doing anything. I do not know all the laws and what can happen, so I am very hesitant to say Botswana be damned follow your heart, because that can lead to something very bad for your future.

So I think that is how I will answer this question. You need to seek out the group mentioned above and figure out how to live your life around these oppressive laws. If it simply isn’t going to work in Botswana... well if it were me I would move. I couldn’t handle not being able to live my life in the manor I chose. That may not be an option for you, I don’t know. But it is one that I would look into if nothing safe can be done where you live.

Other than that, I can’t really answer your question because of the geography of your situation. You need to figure that out first, and hopefully that will help direct you to your answers.
Good luck to you and your search. You deserve to be happy.

~Xmichra.


Dear Reader,

Normally, I do not read what Xmichra has written this way I am not biased in my opinion. By not reading her answer, I also have a fresh or possibly different perspective. As well, I trust her opinions and advice expressly, she is beyond gifted and giving in her raw emotion. Giving to you, the reader.

For some reason, this time I did read what Xmichra had written to you and I couldn't agree more. You must proceed with extreme caution. I also agree that is is a tragedy to have to hide such things but I do not make up the rules nor do I have any say in them.

What you must remember is that you need to think before you do or act upon your feelings. In the first place, a persons sexual encounters should be extremely private...so keep them that way. What I mean is that we all do it or have done it, have sex that is but I don't need to know that you are doing it and I'm sure you don't want to know what I'm up to.

Possibly be discreet in your endeavors, do not be promiscuous, in other words, make sure you know this person first, know them well so they may not use it against you somehow. It should be this way anyway. While we all might enjoy sex, it should not be the main focus in any relationship. It should, in fact, be first and foremost, a friendship. Sex comes later. Safe sex...hopefully!

Keeping It Real,

Aunt Babz

"Even the most brilliant minds, may have troubled Souls"