Saturday, May 5, 2007
You Can't Hide
This was sent to Aunt B via email...
Dear Aunt B,
I am 15 years old and I had a depression I got over it but now I'm back in the depression.
When I was younger I had friends and I had a lot of fun then when I became 13 I started having a depression because,actually I don't know why but it was very hard for me I felt unpopular and not needed in the society. I was recovering it a little until a month a go someone started to "boycott" me, (not inviting me, laughing behind my back, speaking bad behind my back) but then there was this one thing that really hurt me. I am a religious person and believe in God, and I believe that I don't have to do something back because at the end God will punish everyone who did something bad. But in the meanwhile I am feeling very low and I already want to go away from my country and go to university to start a new life with new, true friends but if I do so I will loose my youth. So what do I have to do that, not especially that they will become my friends but that they will stop hurting me.
Thank you for your time,
It's not easy, is it? People can be so cruel and it's hard to not become jaded and cruel back. But you seem to have learned a valuable lesson early in life, in regards to the scripture, "Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord." Getting back at somebody may feel good in the moment but will weigh on you later. I also believe in Karma and what goes around comes around.
The important thing is to realize that you are a special person, a wonderful person, a deep feeling person. Some of us that feel so deeply, well, we are empathic and sometimes we feel too much. We have to be aware of that and control it or else you wear the pain of the world on your shoulders. Many of us have turned to drugs, just to shut it up, so we don't feel it or hear it. That's not healthy either. When it comes down to it, if you do not look out for you, nobody else will.
Don't allow your depression to get the best of you. Seek counseling. Start with your guidance counselor and get a referral. At your age, it is quite common to have a form of depression. Teens years can be crude, rude and socially unacceptable...just like you feel, huh? I could talk and talk about this and how important it is to work through all this, to take back control. But first, I want you to read this and this. See, I don't know your gender. Why I have the feeling that you are a guy, I don't know? What's important is to take either post and apply it to your situation.
You stated that you want to leave your country, right? While I can not discourage you from going to a University in another country, I will simply point out a few things and you can make your assessment from there. You can run but you can't hide. If your mentality is or your deep seated feelings are that of no worth, it will travel with you. After all, home is where you hang your heart and moving does not change a thing but location. You have to take you with you, right?
Look in the mirror and ask yourself, if you are really the person that you want to be? You have your entire life in front of you but you want all the answers right now. Pray for wisdom and understanding. Seek to empower yourself, with realistic goals and always be truthful with yourself.
You must not give your power to others. You have done this and just as I mentioned in the post, prior to this one, the Vultures circle you, in lurk, waiting. You must realize that those people who talk behind your back and say mean things, mean nothing. Read that again, ok. People that are mean, nasty, cruel and what not, are not worthy of YOUR friendship. Let their comments and conniving conjunctions roll off your back. be an onion with a thicker skin. Ant time anyone says anything about you, it is human nature to hear it. So, you hear it, you look at it and if it's not true, you throw it away. If there is any truth to it, look at it, make amends if possible, you know, do your part to fix what you can and let the rest roll. Those that laugh and run their mouths, talk out the side of their faces are not friends anyway, are they? Be friendless, till you find or they find you. A good friendship, people that actually matter will be self-evident, the others will not be noteworthy. In other words, you must not allow people to get into the core of you. Take back the control you have given away. If they see that they are getting under that skin, they will continue to own you, they will continue to look at you, in a manner less than you deserve.
I'll tell you a little secret; You are different and they know it. There is something about you, they can't put their finger on it, what it is that is different. No, you are not like them, you realize this, don't you? I am not saying you are better than them. I am saying that you have what it takes to be successful in this life. I see you going places. I am not saying you'll be rich or worldly successful. I think you will be successful in the sense that people will seek you out, your opinion on something. What is that something?
Find that "Something." Work it, mold it, be it and take back control. Why? Because you are somebody.