That Girl

Dear Aunt B, I really like this boy and we talk all the time. But last night he told me 4 of my girlfriendz went to see spiderman 3 with him. he told me he was a flirt but I can't get over the fact 4 of my friends like him! I am in need of serious help! Thank You, Claudia
Dear Claudia,

Well, he must be quite the guy, huh? I mean four girls, that's quite the Romeo. Knowing that he is a flirt, you must be aware that some guys, to fuel their ego, need that, you know, the constant attention.

I guess what it comes down to, is if you want it to be you, that he picks, you must out shine the others. But the question may be; will he always be a flirt? You must consider this, look carefully at his personality and if you believe he can be monogamous, be with you and you only. There's nothing worse than investing your heart with some guy who just can't be faithful, right? I am not saying this is how he is. In fact, most guys would just dream of going to the movies with four girls. I am also not implying that he had ulterior motives. I am not saying he went because he was trying to get one or any of them in bed. I do not know your age, nor do I know this guy or his behavior. He may very well be trying to just be friends with these girls? I have to say though, I do know the nature of guys from my own experience and not to mention I'm the mother of three playboy sons. Two have settled down but my youngest is on a mission, so it seems, to go out with as many girls as he can before he gets serious. He is sewing his wild oats, so to speak. I am not saying I condone his behavior, especially since he is, well I call him,
"Johnny Appleseed," because he got three girls pregnant and he's just 26 years old.

So, after you make up your mind and you look at the situation with your eyes wide open but you decide to pursue him anyway, you will have to really make an impact on this guy. So, what can you do, to catch his eye?

I may just put up a poll to make my point but I am willing to bet, that I am right...guys do not like big mouth chicks. A lot of girls, in an effort to get attention, may act out, act stupid, act slutty, act worldly and generally show off. Sure the guy notices them, how could he not? If she's easy, sleeping around, she will not find happiness in a steady relationship easily. She will not garner respect and most likely will be talked about but not in a good way. If you could hear some of the things guys say about the sleazy easy's, you probably would never dream of behaving in that manner. I am not implying that you are. You may not have come to that point, you know of having sex and so on. Hold off as long as possible. Sex is sex, but making love is what you should look forward to. Sex is over rated, let me add, if it is not with some one that cares about you, your needs and is trying to please you. Sex complicates things not to mention that, the risk of pregnancy or disease is always there. You have sex, you will get pregnant and it's real simple and yes it will happen to you. It has been happening since the dawn of time and why we don't see that yes, in fact, it can and will happen to us, is beyond me. But let me tell you a little secret; I never in a million years thought it would happen to me bit it did and it changed my life. At 16 years old, I had my first son and although I love him dearly and he is my best friend, I sure wasn't ready to have a child, even if I thought I was. It is a tell tale, right there that I wasn't as grown up as I thought I was because I didn't think it would happen. How stupid, retarded and asinine, huh?

So what can you do differently, than those other girls did or do, that will make him notice you and possibly consider you as a love interest?

Most guys do not marry that girl that every guy had been with. They didn't go steady with that big mouth girl who was always dressing, showing off the junk in her trunk. Oh sure, they slept with her but you can bet they bragged about it, talked smack but never considered her for or as girlfriend material.

You must try not to be a show off. Don't give them too much, meaning don't wear sleazy stuff. There's nothing wrong with an appealing look but he will notice you if you stand up with good posture, a twinkle in your eye, like you have a secret and a knowing smile. Act more mature, keeping yourself in check and not like a giddy stupid girl, like those other girls. You have to be like the girl next door. Speak quietly to him and go out on a limb, letting him know you like him with your body language. Be sexy, not slutty, I guarantee, he'll notice. See, that's the mistake a lot of girls make, they give the guy too much in the form of how they dress, it speaks volumes. In other words; if you dress like a nurse, people will think you are a nurse. If you dress like a business woman, they will believe you are a business woman. But if you dress like a hooker, you might as well be one, you're just not getting paid and you sure won't get the respect you deserve, now will you? You must dress the part of a girl who wants a guy to notice her for her good qualities. You don't want him to try to go out with you, get what he wants and then just dump you, right? It happens every day, in every way and the guy just moves on to the next bimbo. But you are not a bimbo, You are a young woman of credibility who deserves a guy who will want to call her and spend time with her, right?

You must portray what you want out of life. If that means you only want to sleep around, then let your thong hang out, get my drift? Or you can be a bit conservative and make him think, make him wonder and wish, you could be his girlfriend. After all, that's what it's all about; finding the right guy, one that will want to make you smile, love you and respect you, right? Be that girl!