This was sent to Aunt B via email...
Hello Aunt B
Please can you give me a little guidance in a problem I am having.
I went out with a guy two years back, we broke it off just before Christmas, then last year October he gets in contact with me again. Then he doesn't contact me again until this year march.
He tells me that he made a big mistake moving, and that all the girls he has been seeing did'nt have what we have. I am no fool, but am I kidding myself in waiting, he is busy studying, and he got a job near to were he is studying. I don't know if this is a good enough excuse.
Thank you for your time.
I can see why you might be a bit apprehensive. I might be wondering about it all and his motives, myself? I mean, what's he up to and why now? I don't know how far away he is from you or how feasible it is for you guys to start up a relationship. You know him better than anyone and you may have to go with you gut instincts on this one, ok? I believe that our spirit talks to us, we just have to listen. I can look back through all these years and see where I made my biggest mistakes. I am also able to see that I often turned off that, "small, still voice," of reason. I can remember, before any big decision, even in small ones, where if it was the right thing to do, I would feel good. When it wasn't right, I was usually queasy, sick to my stomach. You have to learn to listen to that small still voice.
So, after all this time, he wants to come waltzing back into your life, just like he never left? I think, truly, you have always been in the back of his mind. You made an impact on him and he can't forget about you. For some reason, his small, still voice, makes him think of you and how good he had it. Danielle, now think about this...how many women are there in the world? How many women could have crossed his path? How many choices has he had? I'm sure there are women, where he lives, huh? But he keeps coming back to you, even in his mind, doesn't he?
I am now living without regret but I can and have looked back at my life, often and wondered how my life would have been if I had done this or that or gone with this guy or married that man. I've been engaged more than a half dozen times and it was always me that broke it off by my actions or I just sabotaged myself, talked myself out of it or in my case, something bad happened. These were guys with money and a bouquet full of love for me but I shut them out. I analyzed it too much, I talked myself out of it and I sure did shut out my small, still voice of reason, "The Spirit." I can see this, all these years later. Here I am looking back at my life and I do wonder, well what if?
I have the feeling that you should think about this. I also believe there is no such thing as luck, coincidence or magic. Things happen for a reason, within the dynamics of our destiny. Once you begin to live this way, where you believe and adopt this premise, you begin to see that, every single person you meet in life, has been artfully placed there...for a reason. Everything that happens to you, all that you go through, all the trials and tribulations, ups and downs, they are all for a reason. We are tested daily and people are placed in our lives for whatever reason, well you will see this. It may be to learn from that person. Once we go through a certain thing and we learn from it, we move on to something else but we are handed another piece to "Our" puzzle. The more pieces we get, the more we can see the "Big Picture," that puzzle which is our lives. This is the coolest thing you'll ever learn, remember it. It is the key to your future, the answer to all lives holds for you. Once you begin to breathe this in, you begin to see things differently.
We all go through uncomfortable things, some of us more than others. I happened to have been one of the "Schooled." Some people just float through life, unaffected, unjaded, unjilted and often live on Easy Street, huh? Not me! I have lived enough for three people and I have been through enough that it often tried to take me down. If I died tomorrow, I could say that I have lived. Where I had no empathy, I was taught empathy. Where I had no understanding, I was taught understanding. When I was not humble, I was made to be humbled. I now possess a PhD in life and living. Why? Because I finally began to learn from things and my mistakes. When I went to Prison I learned that people go in and they come out one of two ways; Bitter or Blessed. I was blessed but why is that? It's because I was able to allow the process to school me, to humble a very proud woman and I chose to learn from all my self-will run riot. I prayed for wisdom to understand an awful situation, an awful life and He gave it to me. So, now I can look back in Retrospect and I can see clearly when I did and when I didn't listen to that instinct, that small still voice. I tell you all this, not to talk about myself but so you may relate a few things;
- Things happen for a reason
- People are placed in our lives for a reason
- Everything we live and breath is for a reason
- All trials and tribulations are for a reason
Finally, it may not be easy for you both and you may never get back the same relationship you had before he left. One thing in life is certain and that is change. You've changed, as well, so has he. I think you should consider this, if you really care. He thinks about you or he would not have called. You are ingrained upon his heart, he feels it. Most of all, truly, what is the best we can expect from life? It is to be loved. To love and to be loved, is the sweetest and most wonderful thing you will ever know. Don't look at it, flip it over and look for fault. Just feel it and let your Spirit do the talking.