Temporaily Closed

Sorry Guys but right now my life is on fast forward. To do you any justice in answering your questions, I always want to give you my full attention. Right now that's just not possible.

In the meantime, enjoy your summer and remember...

Don't sweat the small shit and it's ALL small shit!!!

Keeping It Real,
Aunt B







Every now and again, I like to post this just to make you think. Even though I wrote it, it still makes me remember, think and pray...

My Granddaughter…Aries

I wrote this, not long after my release from Prison. I had laid there, alone, one night, unable to sleep. I began to think about all I had seen and heard, some of the stories. As part of a therapeutic community, a rehab within the prison, we had delved into a lot of issues, most brought on by addiction. Some were honest and frank, matter of fact. Some showed no remorse but often times, the women did not understand how they could do the things they had done. They had killed, starved, sold, cut, maimed, abused, neglected, molested and raped their children. I’d spoke with women, outside of a treatment setting and many of these women knew not, why they did what they did.

But who suffered the most, when the Mother was taken to prison? The children and they paid the price for it all. They had already been neglected and hurt and now they would be passed around like a garage sale rag doll. Pray for the children, will you?

“Bless This Child”

Bless this child who’s beaten daily, much more than he can take.
Bless this child who cries at night, his hunger still awake.
Bless this child who’s born of drugs, no habit of his own,
Bless this child who screams in silence he bears his pain alone.
Bless this child not wanted still, a lonely path to lead,
Bless this child so young, too young, molested, made to bleed.
Bless this child born of pain, whose mother barely cares,
Bless this child afraid of dark, it only brings nightmares.
Bless this child too frail to eat, afraid to die just yet,
Bless this child disease will claim, his dreams are never met.
Bless this child who wants to die, his life seems only lies,
Bless this child through suicide can’t say his last good-byes.
Bless this child who’s father’s gone, his love poured out in vain,
Bless this child through poverty who’ll only know hate and pain.
Bless this child who’s shook in anger, now knocks at heaven’s gate,
Bless this child you’ll never know, her story told too late.
Bless this child who’s sent to you, a present from above,
Bless this child you call your own, make sure you show them love.

Always Keeping It Real,
Aunt B


"Even the most brilliant minds can have troubled souls."

Aunt B

True Self

Dear Aunt B,

Greetings,
I have nowhere to turn with this issue, so here I go putting my question to a complete stranger....
Perhaps I am just looking for validation.
In any case, here goes...
My girlfriend of 30 years is going through a divorce. When she first brought her future husband around, we all thought he was gay, but hey, it was the 80's, and many lines were blurred. She married him, had 2 children lickety-split, and then the sex stopped. Now, 22 years later, she's having her moment of clarity, hooked up with an old boyfriend, feels pretty again, and wants a divorce. Her children are very troubled, particularly her son, who flew off the handle one night after they had collected him from the police station and called his father a faggot, and told him that he knew all about his internet escapades.
Her husband is a powerful man, with good lawyers. He is, in fact, the superintendent of a large school district. She felt that in order to leverage herself for the fight (husband suspects infidelity on her part), she had better bring some ammunition of her own to the table.
She put a SpyBot on his computer. It turns out that this man has regular anonymous sex with many male partners, but, here's the kicker, his Craigslist ad states that he must be the "father" and his partner for the evening his "son". My friend is sick over this and wonders if he has ever touched their son.
This man works with children for almost 10 months out of the year. Do you think the district should be notified? I'm sure he uses his work computer for the same purpose.
I cannot speak to anyone about this, I'll be shunned. Everyone is just hoping she gets out with half. I don't think that's good enough. If my kids were in his district, I'd be the first to notify them, no question about it. But I'm far away, and I don't want to ruin anyone's life, and is it really even my business?
Any advice on what to do, internet stranger?
Many thanks,
Karen F.




Dear Karen F,

Wow, that's pretty creepy, isn't it? I would also imagine, rather frustrating to say the least.

Yes, it's a damn shame your G-Friend wasted so many good years of her life...and yet, I do believe we all go through things in our life for good reason. She just must simply find that reason.

The first thing I'd like to reiterate is that you make sure your friend understands that this happened through no fault of her own. This man was born gay, that's it and that's all.

What happened is that he tried to live by Societal rules or rather live by the status quo, you know what we all consider normality. but has since succumbed to his True Self. That "true self" sounds rather deviant though, doesn't it? I am completely grossed out by it just as you are.

Yes Karen, it's one thing to be Gay, be true to oneself and desire the same sex, find someone to love, in what can be considered a wholesome gay relationship. It's quite another story when you're gay and are having sex with anything that walks down the pike, night after night. It's also flirting with death as well as disaster.

Again, I do firmly believe that you are born gay. And I see nothing wrong with people who search for love in a gay relationship, possibly even using Craigslist or something similar. Of course love being the primary and paramount word/piece in this issue.

However, I do also believe that God does not care much for deviance. And yes, there is a big difference between the two ways of conducting ones self in relation to being Gay.

There are a few important issues to consider here though. For one; Although it's abhorrent in my book to play this game that this fella is alluding, concerning where, "he must be the "father" and his partner for the evening his "son" as you wrote, it does not mean he's a Pedophile. (I realize that you did not say that he was)

Breaking that down, his behavior may indicate, what appears as pedophilia or rather a desire for young boys but it is clearly not the audience he is entertaining.

What I am trying to say is that he may not be acting upon any desire for a prepubescent child, which is the guideline as to the definition of pedophilia. Well, let's pray to God he's not as his position in the School District would surely allow an array of opportunity.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that you must be certain that you understand that the fact that he enjoys young men and playing this game does not mean he is a pedophile. Stranger than fiction, he may very well have a taste for toying with the "Twinks."

In example, trying to put it all into perspective, you have a huge populace of men who have a taste for that "School Girl." They may even go as far as to ask their significant to dress up in that fashion. Now, this does not in any way, shape or form imply that they are pedophiles nor does it mean that they'll act out or upon those desires with, per say, a child in a school girl uniform. The mind set itself are, in actuality, two totally and completely different. I do hope you agree?

Personally, this mans behavior, well, I find it rather offensive as well as disgusting but his Craigslist post is, I believe, designed to attract the aforementioned Twink.

As well, there's no legal wrong being committed, at least on the surface as the posts are designated for young men that are 18 or older. Craigslist has the site designed for 18 & up with the following disclaimer;

craigslist > men seeking men > warning & disclaimer

Unless all of the following points are true, use your "back" button to exit this part of craigslist:

1. I am at least 18 years old.
2. I understand "men seeking men" may include adult content.
3. I agree to flag as "prohibited" anything illegal or in violation of the craigslist terms of use.
4. I agree to report suspected exploitation of minors and/or human trafficking to the appropriate authorities.
5. By clicking on the links below, I release craigslist from any liability that may arise from my use of this site.

men seeking men

Choosing safer sex for you and your partner greatly reduces the risk of contracting STDs including HIV -- you can get answers to your safer sex questions, courtesy of staff members at the SF city clinic

craigslist has implemented the PICS content labeling system to assist parents and others who may be interested in content filtering. The PICS system is compatible with most commercially available as well as open source content control software packages.

I'm a bit perplexed as to how to advise you simply because this is such a delicate situation. What comes to mind though, is for your G-Friend to take all of her evidence and present it to her soon to be ex-husband. She can then write the end to this tumultuous chapter, I believe.

What I'm saying is that if she let's him know what evidence she has, he's going to accommodate her in every way possible so that she does not bring it all to the surface and make it all public.

I mean, if you think about it, he has really gone out of his way, all these years to keep all this under his hat. I'd be willing to bet that he does not want the public, especially the school district to know all this. After all, in light of public opinion, it will not sit well with anyone that their leader is behaving in a less than favorable fashion and still dealing with children on the daily.

I suppose what I'm implying is that she most certainly has an Ace up her sleeve and it's just about time to play that hand. She should win the game.

Keeping It Real,

Aunt B

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The Package

Dear Aunt B,

my friend and I went to her cousins house to hang out one night and have a few beers. Her cousin has been around the block a few times. I had seen her cousin maybe 2 times before and he was really hot. We Hung out and had a few laughs. Later on that night, my best friend left to go to her boyfriends house and left me there with her cousin. Her cousin and I talked for a while and one thing led to another. We slept together and then fell asleep. I woke up the next mornin and left. 2 weeks later my best friend and I went back to her cousins house to hang out. Over the past 2 weeks that I hadn't seen or talked to her cousin I kind of fell for him. I just don't know if he feels the same? What should I do?



Dear Friend,

Well, you kinda rushed right in and gave him "The Package" pretty quick. This could cause him to not take you seriously. However, it can also mean that he likes you as well.

What I mean is this; Some guys don't have issue w/a chick that jumps right into bed with them. Some do and will actually think less of you, believe it or not. That's just the way the ball bounces.

Per chance he's one of those guys and feels he got what he wanted and that's it, well, you wouldn't want some double standard piece of work anyway, now would you? My suggestion is to find a way to spend some more time with him and feel it out. Again, if this guy pushes you away, it's because he got what he wanted from you and it's a done deal. So, think about it; If that's what goes down, he just wanted a piece of ass and nothing more. And I'll remind you again that you will probably find someone without the screwed up thinking right around the corner...HINT HINT!!! Keeping It Real, Aunt B

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Be Patient

Dear Aunt B,

I (a college student) met a very friendly guy at a party and we talked to each other three times. But we didn't contact until a couple of weeks ago I asked for his advice on the project I had been engaged in. (He's kind of expert at it.) About five days later, he replied that the project seemed interesting to him and he would like to discuss it with me in person. Unfortunately because of our tight schedule at the time, we couldn't managed to meet. On the other hand, he helped me by telling me his opinions online.

Now he's leaving. I would like to meet him again and express my gratitude. He is quite a nice guy to me. But the problem is: I don't know if he is intersted in me and I don't want to "bother" him if he is really not. So I left a message asking whether he likes the idea of taking him out for afternoon tea as a thank you. He replied something like "Yeah! That would be cool!" But he also stated that he plans to do some traveling in the next few weeks and that he would, however, try to find a good time. Is this his euphemist rejection? Or this is not? What should I do next?

I hope I gace sufficient information. Please tell me what is your take on this and million thanks for your suggestions! I really appeciate your help.
Thanks.

Maggie


Dear M:

Well, I don’t think he is trying to brush you off. I think this is a thing about circumstance, and the right place at the right time. He is leaving, and likely has a lot to do to prepare. I would think that if he was trying to let you down easy, that he would just tell you he was really busy and didn’t have the time right now to hook up. But he didn’t. He wanted to make sure that you were aware that he had limited time, but that he wanted to meet with you regardless of the scheduling.

To me, that sounds like he cares enough to tell you if he’s not interested.

What you do from here? Well that is a little more precarious, only due to his time restraint. Unfortunately this is totally his to decide. He needs to come up with a plan, and that’s all there is to it.

So, you need to Be Patient. And if it was meant to work out, it will. But I’m fairly confident that he will get in touch with you, sounds as though he wants to.

Wishing you patients and luck :)

~Xmichra.

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You're Not Promised Tomorrow

Dear Aunt B,

First Email

Hello,

I love my parents, they mean everything to me, it's been 3 weeks since

they last said a word to each other and I want them to speak again.

I've heard both sides of the story, my dad says that my mom speaks to

him as if he was inferior to her and that it seems she's lost all

respect for him. Then my mom says that my dad never helps out at home

and doesn't consider all the hard work she does. I want them to sit

down and talk to each other and stop complaining to me! How do I get

my stubborn parents to speak again or at least sit them down to talk

and resolve their issues?? I know if I ask them to sit down and talk,

they won't do it? What should I do? Please help me and thanks sooo

much! - Sincerely "Torn in 2" :(

Second Email...

Hello, and first of all I want to thank your for taking the time to read my email. I'm a 15 year old girl, that loves her parents deeply, but lately they have been having issues, that need to be resolved. My parents have not been speaking for 3 weeks. I know they had an argument, and I have heard both sides of their stories. My dad claims that my mom has lost all respect for him, and that it seems she no longer cares, while my mom says that my dad is inconsiderate when it comes to all the hard work she does at home. I know my parents love each other, but how do I get my two stubborn parents to speak again? I have told them a lot of times to talk things out, but they refuse to. What should I do to get my parents to speak again? Do you know of any plan or something to make them come together? I'm tired of this, and frankly I want them to talk things out like the civilized people they are! It hurts me to see them like this :(. I don't know what to do, please help me. I really need this, especially since father's day is coming up. Thanks soo much for taking the time to read my email.

Thank you ! ---

Sincerely "Torn In Two" :)




Dear Torn In Two,

I can see, reading between the lines that you are mature, way beyond your years. I can also see that you are a very "deep" thinker. This is a double edged sword, one you'll carry all the days of your life. It's a good and bad thing, you will see but don't ever change that about yourself.

You know, people fall in and out of love so easily, especially in this day and age. We take each other for granted as if we are each replaceable like robots or some kind of assembly line gadget we toss out with the trash.

On top of all this, we tend to treat each other horridly because God forbid we might let our guard down, let our real emotions show or even appear to be vulnerable. And no one ever wants to wrong, half wrong in any given situation where compromise is called for. It's true too that we always tend to hurt the ones we love the most.

Unfortunately, it also seems the Art of the Fight, well, it's no holds barred these days. We think nothing of hitting below the belt in our proverbial assault upon each other. Sad but true.

Words do cut like a knife. When I was with my last husband Sonny, oh my, we fought hardcore. I can remember almost wishing he'd just hit me instead of the barrage of insulting things he'd so easily fling at me. Yes, the black eye would've healed and disappeared but those words are/were forever stuck in the filing cabinet in my brain.

More often than not, we tend to "LOSE" respect for each other. We so easily forget how much the person means/meant to us. We say things, we do things that can have everlasting effect, a lifetime of damage. It can become a handicap, crippling our relationships when they could be healthy had we kept our big mouths shut. Day to day living masks the profound effect our words may have had on each other, the good, the bad and the ugly.

"Tomorrow is not promised."

My first husband is gone. He died in 1989, complications of Hepatitis C. He was my very best friend until I began to take him for granted. I grew tired of him. I felt I'd grown past him and simply tossed him out, just like that assembly line gadget I mentioned before.

Husband #2 was not my best friend. It was an extremely stormy relationship, to put it mildly. He was very abusive and I was too sick, mentally and physically to do anything about it for 19 plus years.

How sick was this marriage, you ask? Well, I shot him the first year we were together. He'd beat me beyond recognition and went to jail. Two weeks later he was released and showed up at my door angrier than before because I'd had the gall to have him thrown in jail for what he'd done to me. It got real ugly, real quick, in a hurry.

Long story short, I shot him point blank in the stomach with a .22 Long Rifle. He would've died had it not been for the fact that we were 4 minutes away from one of the best Trauma Centers in the Nation.

You can only imagine how messed up he was but he checked himself out of the ICU, staples, from sternum to groin, hitched a ride and showed up at my door. Now, if that's not the sickest, most twisted relationship there never/ever was, well, I don't know what is. But even worse, I stayed in that marriage for 19 long years. And yet...I loved him.

Yes, husband #2 OD'd and died April 28, 2010. I've yet to cry. Don't get me wrong, it hurts me. It's a pain, a deep wailing inside, insidious and cruel. I don't know what to feel.

The point is that in both instances, with both men there are so many things I wish I'd said and done. But it's far too late and I can never get that back.

Concerning your parents, it's high time they sit down and hash this out just as you would any business deal or contract. After all, that's basically where they're at; it's all business and no pleasure.

I suggest that you take them both aside separately and get them to agree to a sit down. Tell them to do their homework and write down their issues. Bring it to the table and get it all out.

You'll have to establish some ground rules such as fighting fair and the reminder that nothing is accomplished as it stands. I mean, after all, anger is a ruthless killer. It is selfish, destructive and it only serves to eat ones self alive.

A gentle nudge in the direction of respect on both parties behalf is the most important rule for this business meeting. You might also remind them that they'll be NO shouting, cursing or pointing of the finger, much less flipping it.

Then, you sit them down and explain to them that you are over their game. Life's too short for the dumb sh*t and although they each feel they have valid issues, the way they are going about it all is getting them no where fast.

As well, I suggest that you read this letter to them as the opening act. I think they need to re-evaluate their individual parts played in this marriage. Please ask them if they forgot that a marriage is always a give and take situation but one that must be worked on all the time, every day, every second.

The chief issue here, no matter what they really think it is, you know when it comes to their grievances in a list form is the fact that they do not respect each other. And until such time as they realize this with a mind set that they will make a conscience effort to uphold the respect factor, nothing and I do mean nothing will ever work.

They've got to hash this out, then wipe the slate clean. They've got to agree to disagree but in a a fair manner. They also need to be reminded that a house divided will most assuredly fall.

A marriage is work, not doubt about it. Did they just get lazy? Did they just decide one morning that they'd no longer be willing to be friends? Did they each look in the mirror one fine morn and say to themselves, "Well, I'm over this?"

Yes, Torn In Two, sit them down and have them get it all out, say what needs to be said, exactly how they feel, hopefully in a fair manner. Then, let's pray that they'll consider it a "Do Over," and get on with their marriage.

I'm hoping they'll remember the fact that their days are numbered, not in a morbid, death is upon us sense but in the pleasance to realize what life would, could, may be without the other in it.

And again, let's pray that they'll come to an understanding that they need each other as they are a well oiled machine that has been neglected and allowed to sit and rust.

Most importantly, you need to remind them that time isn’t marching on—it’s running out!


Keeping It Real,

Aunt B



Further Reading

Grieving on The Installment Plan

Lyrics | Why Do We Always Hurt The Ones We Love lyrics

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Need for Speed

Dear Aunt B,

I'll be 18 in August. I am a member of the drumline at my high school. There's this guy who is the Percussion Director. He's 23 but he'll be 24 in August. I suppose he is still considered some sort of teacher but he does not actually work at the school. Anyway, I completely, undoubtedly, pathetically love him. I am always thinking about him. Always. I can't NOT think about him. Sometimes I wish I never met him because it would be so much easier but I really love him and I'm glad he's in my life. I know him pretty well. He's a friend more than a director or instructor. I trust him and I don't think he'd be that upset if I said something to him and sometimes I think that, if it wasn't sort of "taboo", he might even have the same feelings for me. I was going to wait until I graduate (a year from now) to tell him/ask him but I don't know if I can take it anymore. Delayed gratification or just tell him exactly how I feel? Just how inappropriate would a relationship be right now? How inappropriate would it be after I am no longer a student? Actually, never mind that, I just want him to know how much I care about him. But I'm guessing that would make things very weird. By the way, I don't creep on him or hit on him or do anything weird that he would notice. I'm not like that and this isn't a silly little weird crush. I freaking love the man. I know it's not right but I don't care.

Thanks,

DG


Dear DG,

First I wanted to apologize for the delay in answering your letter. I do value all of the letters I get and am quite behind. I am the primary care giver for my 11 month old grandbaby and it's far more time consuming than I can ever remember. I get nothing done and don't know how I manged to raise my three sons and daughter while working, often times two jobs, as a single parent.

Anyway DG, my concern about all this are, to start, the legal ramifications involved. Because you are a minor and he is not, if anybody found out, (possibly your parents?)assuming you both act upon this love, okay, well, this guy can go straight to jail. I know this is strong language and words you do not want to hear.

Now, don't think I don't understand and validate your feelings. I was married at the age of 16, had my first child at 17(I was pregnant when I walked down the aisle)so I certainly can relate to your emotions. I believe them to be real just as mine were, way back when. And far be it from me to tell you to put your feelings aside...but they may need to wait.

So here's the real deal; Let's say you act on these feelings, first by telling this guy how you feel, right? Well, you may be in for a let down, from the start because of the age difference. What I mean is that he may push you away, even if he does have feelings because he knows it could be an all expense paid vacation... straight to jail.

Right now, across America, there's a huge spotlight on teen sexual exploitation. Shows like Dateline NBC's "To Catch A Predator" starring Chris Hansen, focus on men who try to date teen girls, some as young as 12 years old.

Basically, this show, in case you're not familiar with it, places the emphasis on the online aspect of predatory behavior of men who do not care how old a girl might be, they just want to have fun/sex at any cost.
I do believe this to be a good show and it is gravely important for parents to understand all facets of Online Safety. Parents, in turn, need to discuss online safety with their children especially their teen daughters.

But what does all this have to do with you? As I said, the limelight is on older men dating young girls. You may very well be a mature young lady, one who is hopelessly in love. The problem is that the Laws are in place, moral standards are set, all for a reason; to keep you from being or becoming a victim.

"But I'm not a victim, Aunt B, I love him and I am the one who's starting this whole thing, not him."

I can just about hear you saying this as you read my words. But that is exactly what and how they are going to refer to you, "a victim" if they were to find out that you've gone out with, had relations with, etc. etc., this nice guy. They'll say that you are not capable, at your age of making the decision to give yourself to this man, no matter how hard you protest. And he'll be charged and for the rest of his life he'll have to register as a Sex Offender.

So, these are the cold hard facts of this situation. While I surely sympathize and understand your Need for Speed, I'd suggest putting on the brakes for a minute.

Keeping It Real,

Aunt B

More Reading

MSN.NBC; After the show, talk to your kids about Online Safety

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‘My Way Or The Highway’

Dear Aunt B,

I have a great 10 year relationship with my fiance'. When we met I was 23 and
he was a divorced father of 3. I grew up with both my parents so I have always
respected and never tried to interfere with the relationship that he has with
his children. The problem arises 10 years later when his youngest child is
19 and his oldest is 23. I do not have any children..and I hoped and planned to
prepare to begin "our life" now that his children are young adults. Well.. it
seems that "this life" will never really materialize because of his constant and
consistent "obsession" with the children that are NOW adults. To this day..they
seem to come before me.. and us.. We stayed in their hometown to help raise
them..and made plans to move to Florida this year. Just today I heard him tell
his oldest daughter that when we leave he is going to send for them!! I don't think
that it is a problem that he loves and wants to stay close with his children.. but
the point is is that they are NOT my children!! and it seems as if my life will
never materialize into the dreams that I dream..because we are still living in his
past..not OUR FUTURE together!! Please help me.. Do I reconsider this
relationship??



Dear Please Help:

You are not going to like what I have to say, and I know it. But… honestly, you need to get a grip.

Being a parent doesn’t end once the kids are into early adulthood. Hell, it never ends. And the way that you are focused on having a life with no kids to interfere, well you shouldn’t have had kids. And by extension, YOU DO.

When you decided to be part of that family, this was a choice that you made, not them. And you need to realize that if you are reconsidering the relationship *now*… well, I’m thinking it was never going to work out like you had planned and hoped. You are counting on him dropping his kids, and that is clearly not going to happen. Basing your life with your future dreams… you are forgetting all about him when you say “OUR”. His life has three children, and yours does not. Both of you have to realize that and compromise, instead of making a strong-headed decision of ‘my way or the highway’.

Yes, they are legally adults. But there are a lot of young adults who are just not mature enough, or ready to be far away from their parents. Better still, there are plenty of mature, independent people who want to remain close to their parents. So trying to weed out that natural bond, quite frankly, is futile. You will drive yourself crazy trying to do that (nor should You).

I feel I have failed you, because I don’t have advice for you. I wish you good luck with trying to find your dreams in life, but in all honesty do not think you will find it if you choose to take a stand with this situation. It might clear you up to other endeavors, but as for this question… I have no advice due to the complicity in a simple question. I have an opinion, but those are a dime a dozen.

I do hope that whatever you choose, you do find some happiness.

~Xmichra

Have A Question??? Nothing Is Taboo!!!

Click Here to Ask Aunt B

Digeus Registry Cleaner 5.4.11591

Re: Computer Advice

Hey Readers,

Aunt B is basically commercial free but now and then I come across something that I must share. The Tech Writers for Digeus, Inc asked me to try the programs they offer. First allow me to mention...

Digeus Registry Cleaner 5.4.11591

Now, I don't pretend to be genius or even real tech savvy but I've been around the block when it comes to maintaining your computer. Of course I'd learned everything the hard way as I crashed my computer twice when I first started to dabble back in 2003.

Long story short, I have learned that if you do not maintain your computer, yourself, (there are no fairy's that come in and make it right)it will begin to run slower and slower until it won't do a diddly darn thing for you. You end up throwing it out the window.

What happens, is your registry becomes full of errors and unless you repair it with a good program it most certainly will run noticeably slower...painfully slow.

Before I tried the Digeus Registry Cleaner, I had tried some notable programs. On all the computers in our home we have installed, again, an expensive program which I will not mention. I was surly fooled (and feel duped actually) by that program as it never did what Digeus Registry Cleaner has done...

Check it out: I ran this program and it found (drum roll please)

941 registry errors


I'm simply mesmerized and astounded. My sons are all "I.T.'s" and they agree these programs are, and I quote, "Bangin'!"

I highly recommend Digeus Registry Cleaner along with the other useful programs they offer...

SnapIt

"Capture anything you see on your PC screen. Take a "snapshot" of anything with just a click."

System Optimizer

"Eliminate system crashes, freezes and slowdowns. Identify and repair common Windows problems."

Duplicate Files Finder

"Remove duplicate mp3, photos, pictures etc. and regain plenty of disk space."

Junk Files Cleaner

"Free up valuable space on your hard drive. Speed up your system performance."

Keeping It Real,

Aunt B

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Urge For Revenge

To: askauntb@gmail.com

Subject: My only thoughts are REVENGE.

Hey whats up??? thank you for taking your time to read my question, I really appreciate the help.
Well here goes.

Me and my girlfriend have been in a very on-off, rockey relationship for nearly 3years. No doubt we love eachother, but we're so different in personalities that the friction was always there. Well from the day I met her I told her that I had slept with 8 women.... You know how every guy lies about the number of women he's slept with so I did the same...

On the 26th of Feb she found out that I had actually not slept with the above mentioned women, and that she was my first. She got really angry and said that I had betrayed her, for lying for the past 3yrs. She cannot or doesn't want to understand that its normal amongst guys to lie about that sort of thing.

Well after two days she tells me that "she wants to be single" but without the intention of hooking up with someone else and that we should remain as friends.... and that she expects full cooperation from me........ I was like, what the hell is wrong with you?! Just because you're crazy and that your feeling changed for me doesn't mean that mine did too..... I told her that.... I said that I wont be friends, I'm not guilty of anything, I didn't do anything wrong, and that I dont have anything to be ashamed off.....

Then she, coldly cut of all communication with me.... like she didn't even know me... I told her that we need to talk, that I was nice and supportive to her for the past 3 years and that she couldn't betray me like this..... but she hasn't replied since.... I'm angry, I'm bitter and have a lot of unanswered questions....... Did she really love me?

Imagin that you love someone with all your heart for 3yrs, and all of a sudden they break-up and offer absolutely no explanation.

I'm feeling a very strong urge to get revenge, I know that wont solve anything, but do you think that will make me happy??? And what can I do to move on?

Dear Reader,

There is something more to this story for sure, because the reason for ending the relationship is just silly. Not all guys lie about their sexual past, but this to me is a ridiculous reason to break up after 3 years... this my friend, is a farce of what is really going down.

But regardless of that fact, she did break up with you. And she must have had her reasons, whatever they were. Now it’s time to figure out your end.

I can understand the urge for revenge, it seems that it is a pretty basic instinct. To hurt what has hurt you. But in the end, you will feel even worse for doing something vengeful to someone you still care for. Imagine loving someone with all your heart for three years, and they get hurt really badly. You are watching them twist and turn, and it makes them so hurt they can hardly breathe without crying. And they turn to you, because you have been there for three long years... and the hate and the scorn, and the blame all comes flooding up and is glaring right at you... the one who has caused the hurt. The look of unmistakable hatred and distain, forever in your mind. Is that what you want? You really want to do that to her and to you?

I doubt that.

Most people believe that if they hurt the other person that they will feel better themselves. And it’s just not true. Revenge can only cause more harm than good, and there are centuries of love stories and tales that portray that very truth.

Do yourself a favour, and walk away from that feeling, and concentrate your efforts on yourself and healing. You will be so much better off.

~Xmichra

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