Thursday, June 4, 2009

"What's The Rush Here?"

Dear Aunt B,

Hello Readers,
I been dating this girl for 3 months. She tells me she is in love with me and that she loves me. We have great sex. I just found a letter to her friend Josh saying that any girl would be lucky enough to have him. Then she said that she was sorry she missed his call on Sunday and she felt like crying because she didn't get to talk to him and she misses him. Josh just left to the army for training. She also told him about me having a feeling that I knew how much she love him and that I was jealous. Which yes I am jealous because she is my girlfriend and she is in love with two different people with is not far to me. Josh is also in love with my girlfriend.
I asked her about Josh and she said she did not love him. I know she lied because the letter said other wise. Josh knows about me. at the end of the letter he wrote I love you and she wrote I love you so much much much much much. She has never lied to me till now.
She wants me to move in with her but I am not sure because of how she feels. I love her and if I lose her it is going to be hard for me. We spend all day together. All my time is for her. I know she thinks about him when I am around. She is not with him because she feels like he can do better then her. I feel like she lied and cheated on me. I cannot trust her. I do not want to confront her about the letter because I went through her stuff to find it.
Now my question is what should I do? If stay with her what is going to happen when he comes back? Should I give her some space? What should I do?!? Should I move in? Should I just walk away? Should I try to make her happy? Should I just forget about the letter?

Dear Please Help,

Well My Dear, it sounds like she's a bit wishy washy, if you ask me. I mean, well hell, I'm just gonna say it; If she says these things behind your back, in other words, in this intimate letter to him, can you, will you ever be able to really trust her feelings and emotions completely?

In an earlier writing, from a gentleman in a similar situation, I gave the advice;

All's Fair in Love and War

Possibly read this and it may help you as well. Rarely do we get the inner working of a woman's mind as you have. I am referring to the letter you read. I would take it rather seriously, if I were you. No she's not cheating on you but she comes a close second.

See, my concern is with the honesty in this issue. She is not being honest with you, and you already know this. Is that not enough to send up red flags and/or some sort of hesitancy? It would for me and I can only say that I would stay on the side of caution.

Quite frankly, I have to wonder, really, "What's the rush here?"I mean, if I were you, I might hesitate to move right in with her. Now, nothing says she does not have real feelings for you and it is possible to love two men at a time. People do it all the time, do they not? But for real, is this the type of woman that you want, the kind that gives you half her heart?

My Advice; Slow your row, watch and wait, feel it out. As time passes, she just might give you all of her heart. Again, you have to ask yourself; Are you willing to invest in such uncertainty? You seem to have a forgiving heart but my concern is that, while she has every right in the world to say whatever she wants, i.e., that she does not love Josh, her own words say otherwise. Basic Training does not last forever and he may be back. So, you must ask yourself if you should invest your own heart, time, etc., with a woman who has been less than honest. Only you can answer this.

Again, I urge you to slow things down a bit and feel for the real deal!

Keeping It Real,

Aunt B

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