Dear Aunt Babz,
I'm kinda new to this whole "anonymous advice" thing but I need some help. I really like this girl I'm kinda close friends with. She knows I like her but I'm not really getting a response from her. Some of my friends are close with her and they said she wants me to try harder to impress her. I know that sounds a little mean but she's really a nice girl. If you know how I can win her over please help me out! If it helps I'm 15 and in high school so I can't buy her expensive jewelry or anything (minimum wage only goes so far!)
Well Darlin', it sounds like she wants you to win and woo her. There's nothing wrong with this and I suppose she has standards set for herself. Not a bad thing. I thought these six steps were interesting, not the/your answer so much but noteworthy.
Once you get in, those six steps might help but we need to find a way to make her notice you, right? There were a few memorable things, that made me think, one of which was a card that said some of the things that I think he couldn't. But it was the few words he put in the card that made the impact on me;
"You make me smile. Your smile, your laughter, the way you walk, the way you talk, it all speaks to my heart. You are beautiful beyond the words of a simple card. Did you know this?"
See, all these years later, I still remember the words from that card. It wasn't even an expensive card but I could tell he'd taken the time and put forth the effort to pick it out.
I think it's the little things, the words that ring, steadfast that are memorable. Most guys do not divulge or expose their hearts very easily, especially spoken words. So, you use cards and letters, a note here, a card there.
In these cards, which will not break your pocket, you speak the truth, you speak what your heart says. You don't have to do all the mushy bullshit, you know too candy sweet-n-sticky, especially crap you don't feel. But you tell her what it is that makes you notice her out of all the girls in your world.
When you see her, you wink and allow your heart, your body language to speak to hers. It's very real if you happen to notice it and are aware of it's capability. No, you'd better not need expensive jewelry to get this girl. If that were the case, why would you wanna date a chick that has to have that sort of thing to know how you feel?
Sure it's nice to receive a Promise Ring (we used to call it going steady) at the exact and perfect moment in time but you are not there yet, right? And if the time comes where you feel you want to express how you feel, you start saving, you know $5 here, $10 there and put some cash away.
You sound like a truly nice guy and I hope you win the babe. Forget about those "Trophy Chicks." Yea, they look good on your arm but they know it and it's a constant worry. You'll have to let me know, ok? Oh and by the way, remember; If you play, you might pay, meaning if and when...where a condom. Please???
Keeping It Real,
If you are trying to win her over the first thing you should do is try to talk to her. Try to get her to sit down with you at lunch or before school or after school and if she talks to you just share how you feel and how you would like to hang out with her more . Another thing you can do is find out where her locker is and stick a little note in there saying maybe something like, " Hi, just thinking about you," or anything you want to that will catch her eye . If you have classes with her just slip it in her book . If you know were she lives go up to her house and ask to talk and maybe if you have a little money, possibly you could go buy a single rose . That's usually like $3 dollars at the very most . That's what I think you should do ... just make sure to be yourself.
"Even the most brilliant minds, may have troubled Souls"