Rough Patch

Dear Aunt B,

A while ago I went through a bit of a rough patch, I withdrew myself from my
friends and stopped going out with them. I felt very depressed and I don't know why.
Now i'm feeling so much better and I just wanted things to go back to normal with my friends but it didn't. I have no close friends anymore and i feel stupid trying to
talk to people who have no interest in me. They're not outright mean but they never
invite me to go out anywhere and I feel pathetic asking if I can come. I feel like I have lost so much of myself and i don't know what to do. I've tried making other friends but its my final year at school and everyone has their own friendships.Its just really hard because I have no one to talk to at all. What do you think i should do?

lisa


Dear Lisa,

I do so apologize for the delay in answering you. I am knee deep in taking care of my newest Grandbaby and am rather consumed. Quite actually, I think I'm in love with this sweetest of babies but non the less, I thank you for your patience.

The first thing that comes to mind was the adage, "You can never go home again." That means that once you leave, even a vacancy if only in your mind, well, things will never be the same. See, while you were in your head and going through what you were going through, life, people, every day living kept on going.

The second thing that comes to mind is the very fact that while you were going through this "rough patch" was anyone even there for you? If they tried and you pushed them away, that's one thing. But if they did not try, well, my conclusion is an obvious one; They were not 'good friends' to begin with. At least not in the sense of the word "friendship" that I know of???

Babz' Girlfriends Creed

I'll jump through fiery hoops to help you,
I'll pick up the pieces he's left behind,
I'll cry with you and wipe your snotty nose,
I'll eat M & M's and Ice Cream with you if it helps,
I'll answer the phone at 4am and swear like a seasoned Sailor with you,
I'll drive around half the night till we find him,
I'll help you bury the body... Then, I'll let you borrow my new lipstick, you know just to shine and freshen up!

from Bluff Backfired

For real though, unless you pushed everybody away, you'll need to redefine yourself and fashion yourself into an independent individual who does not need friends. It is then and only then that true friends will be found.

Just for the sake of opportunity, this premise that I just mentioned "you'll need to redefine yourself and fashion yourself into an independent individual who does not need friends" applies to how you'll relate to a potential suitor as well.

I hope you've addressed why you went through this rough patch, as depression tends to visit, quite often when we least expect it???

First and foremost, I hope you'll see that when God closes one door, He opens another and another. Look for that door of opportunity. Also remember that all things happen for a reason.

Whatever that reason may be, it will be up to you to find it. It may have been to save your life from a disastrous situation. Was someone you ran with hurt in an accident or something of that nature?

If I were you, I'd find something to hold your interests; a hobby, take long walks, etc. You must realize that at your age, "You'll want what you want when you want it NOW." Unfortunately, life does not work this way so you'll need to form some patience.

(In The Zone)

Ah yes, patience is the virtue you need to work on as I see things jumping off for you...just as soon as you begin to realize that friends do not make or break you.

A part of me can see that for the most part, you are extremely independent, kind of a loner? Quite often you wish to stay holed up in your room, stuck in your head as you do so tend to over analyze everything and anything.

I'd like to see you step out into one thing, one adventure, something you'd not normally do. Allow yourself to be led by your heart and not your head. This very well may open up those doors.

Yes, patience is your answer!

Keeping It Real,

Aunt B

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