What Makes YOU Happy

Editor's Note;

Ask Aunt B and Staff would like to extend a warm and gracious welcome to our newest Staff Adviser, Lorielle. This is often times a thankless job but Lorielle is willing to holster it up and shoot it out, gangbusters right along with the rest of us.
This is Lorielle's first post, which we celebrate and are extremely grateful for.

We look forward to hearing more from this wonderful, wise and whimsical woman!



Dear Aunt B,

For almost 2 years I had a wonderful relationship with a beautiful
man. Even when he became an Air Force Officer and we had to do the
long distance thing for over a year we remained very close and would
visit each other frequently. We both have decent incomes and would
split the cost so it was never a huge financial burden. We got along
great and were very much in love. I gave my heart completely to him. I
wanted to marry him. I still do.

At the end of August, I flew down to see him for 10 days. We had a
wonderful time and I felt closer to him than ever. He told me he loved
me every day and was very affectionate. Everything seemed perfect.

Around the eighth day of my visit I did notice a change in him though.
He became distant, but I just thought it was stress from his job or
something. He would hold my hand but not look at me and he just
seemed...sad. I asked him if something was wrong but I couldn't get a
straight answer, he just said it was stress.

A few days after I got home I get a call from him. He's crying. (He
NEVER cries!) He says he hates to do this to me...but he just doesn't
feel the same way about me anymore. He's no longer in love with me. I
was devastated and asked him "why?".

He says he has no idea why his feelings changed and that they changed
in a matter of about 2-3 days. He says I was a perfect girlfriend and
didn't do anything wrong. That I'm more beautiful than ever. That it's
not the distance and that he's not cheating on me. But he has NO
explanation for why he feels this way so suddenly. (He had wanted to
marry me a short time earlier, he said.)

The whole time he was telling me this, I could see the tears rolling
down his face since it was via video-chat. I've never seen him cry at
all before, let alone sob like he was. I cried too...I still cry
everyday thinking about it almost a month later.

We haven't had much contact since then and I don't know what to do. He
said he needed time and space to "think" but he doesn't think his
feelings will change.

The few times I have spoken to him, I've had a hard time keeping my
emotional cool. I've cried, told him how much I loved him-that I would
do anything for him, that I could make him happy. Everything. I've
tried reasoning with him but he says he doesn't know why he feels this
way so suddenly and he doesn't think he can change it.

He's coming home to see his family over Christmas and I'll have the
opportunity to see him then. I'm hoping we can talk face to face and
maybe when he's had time to miss me his perspective will change. But
what should I do/say when I do see him? Should I contact him 'til
then, or just cut all contact and wait 'til Christmas? I've been
avoiding making any contact with him for the most part since I only
seem to make myself look foolish. :(

Dear Julie,

First of all, my heart goes out to you. Let me start off by telling you a little story about something that happened to me several years ago. I was in love with a man, he was my best friend, my lover, and I loved him more than anything. We lived together, and had been together for about 4 years. It wasn't always wonderful, but sometimes when we are in love with someone we forgive them of their imperfections.

Anyway, somewhere along the line things between us became strained. I was sure that he wasn't cheating on me, he worked so many hours, he couldn't possibly have time. One day, I came home from work and he'd left me a note. A "Dear John" letter, if you will. He'd moved all of his things out of the house and was gone. He told me in that letter that he would love me always but had some things he needed to work out on his own. I was completely and utterly devastated. I felt so bad for HIM.

Long story short, he had left me for another woman. I didn't know that for awhile, no one would tell me. Sparing my feelings, I suppose. But I just let him go. I didn't try to contact him. I didn't try to find him. Then something happened. A year and a half later, he came back into my life. I didn't have to do a thing to "win him back," he figured it all out on his own that he had been wrong, that he wanted to be with me. I took him back and we were married a short time later. The marriage didn't last. It doesn't have a totally happy ending. I was more interested in "winning" than I was concerned with all the problems that were there to begin with.

I'm not telling you this – insinuating that your Officer is seeing another woman. I'm not telling you this to promise that if you give him time, he will return back to you. But I am telling you that I am a firm believer that in life, everything, every single thing, happens for a reason. I'm sure that you have heard the old saying: "Can't see the forest for the trees." It can be very hard to read a book when our faces are too close to the pages. It is also extremely easy to put one on a pedestal and romanticize our relationship with them. When we are with them, we love them and tend to be forgiving of the minor faults or issues they have. Which is how it should be! We're not perfect, either and it's a two-way street. I'm sure that they forgive us of things as well.

While this is a very confusing and difficult time for you right now, and I know that you hurt like no other. You need to step back and put some distance between yourself and the situation. Pick up the pieces as if it is truly 100% over and get on with your own life. Respect his wishes and allow him this time to also pick up the pieces and get on with his life. Often times in life we are so sure one day of something that we want very badly, only to find out the next day that we really don't want it anymore. Have you ever gone to the store and bought something on the spur of the moment only to realize the next day, or even later that same day, that we didn't really need it or it wasn't as great as we thought it was?

Please understand I am not trying to tell you that he's not a wonderful man. Or that he's lying or cheating or not right for you. I am asking you to just give this some time. Step out of the picture and view it from another perspective. It's hard to be objective when it's a movie about your life and you're the star, but that's what you must do. Find the joys in life again from the perspective of looking through your eyes. He has asked you for some time. Above all else, you must respect his wishes. He's not asked you to sit in limbo and wait for him to get his head on straight. (If he has, that's not fair – and you shouldn't do it.) He's been honest with you, as far as I can tell. At least he had the decency to tell you and didn't just disappear!

Retain some self-respect. Begging him to come back, promising to change, or do anything for him would not make you happy. This is a time to be true to yourself. If there were one thing in life that you absolutely loved to do, it was the most important thing in the world to you, you couldn't imagine not doing it for the rest of your life… and he told you that he didn't like you doing that. So, for him, you said you wouldn't do it anymore. Sometime later, when the glow of winning him over and back into your life was gone, you'd start to resent him for "taking that away" from your life.

The most important person in your life is YOU. You are what matters. What makes YOU happy. What YOU enjoy out of life. Christmas is not that far off. Between now and then, try to avoid contact with him, unless of course, it's him contacting you. Be cordial to him. Be nice to him. But do not beg him. Above all, he's the one who pulled away from you, you didn't push him away. So let him go. Let him contact you if he wants to talk. This is very important. If you contact him, or if you beg him, you sound needy and you'll only push him further away. Trust me on this one! As for Christmas, send him a card, send his family a card, if you were close. But don't plan on spending time with him or talking to him.

The hardest thing for you to do right now is tell yourself that it is over. Even if in the back of your mind you're thinking "I know he'll be back. It just can't be over." You need to get on with your life, respect his wishes, and for all intents and purposes go on with your life as if it really is over. The best way for him to see that he can't live without you is to let him.
I wish you the best and please keep in touch!
Best Wishes!

Lorielle

Have A Question??? Nothing Is Taboo!!!

Live, Learn & Laugh Like Hell

Dear Aunt B,

Subject: Please tell me.......

the reason to go on in life. I'm a 49 yr old woman, who lives w/ my 88 yr old father. I lost my mother 4 yrs ago to cancer. Thought I found my soul mate (online), but soon learned he just wanted to use me. I work with Down's Syndrome ladies Have been with them for 16 yrs. My title is dietary/caregiver. I'm best known as the person who brings food into the house (both at work and at home). When one of my co-workers asked a resident what she would remember me most for (if I passed on).....answer.....groceries.

As far as home life, I'm a caregiver too. My father, well....it's hard to explain......He has always been there for me. He has helped me out with some huge scrapes that I got myself into. I'll be indebted to him for the rest of my life, and I think he knows this. It's a strange relationship, not a close father and daughter one. It's mostly....I'm just here to just listen and agree.

I have animals and love them dearly. I've always wanted to work with animals and have tried through out my life. However my brains only functioned for a very short while and didn't allow me to continue. I remember my mother telling me it's my fault that I didn't get ahead. But, I think it was something else going on, something medical. I'm a complete and total failure !!!

I do miss my mom, we were like sisters. She died a brutal death from Ovarian cancer. I'll never forget the torture she went through. Nor will I ever forgive myself for being a big disappointment to her.

I'm so sick and tired of life, All that goes through my mind is what I'll be remember as. The grocery ladies, or the lady who knows where every caned item is located in the groc. store. The daughter who must always put food in front of my father in order to satisfy him. The daughter that should have spent more time in the kitchen rather then with my animals and learning about nature. Telling me my cooking skills will get better through time. Never will I be remembered as the person who dedicated her whole life to animal causes or a wonderful veterinarian who cared for all creatures. Oh, maybe as a past time, but that's all.....the rest of the time is strictly to serve people and to satisfy their ungrateful needs.

Not only will I be remembered as the food lady, I'll be remembered as the person who got involved with someone on the Internet and made a fool out of herself. Like I said, I Thought I found someone who loved me and loved animals. This person came into my life the same time my mother was diagnosed with cancer, I thought he was a gift from god to help me deal with this. He himself had suffered a stroke. This gift from god used me to support him. I should have known this all along. He also abused my little dog, so we left in a hurry and came back home to my dad.

Please......don't think I'm ungrateful....that I don't appreciate having a job or my father. I'm just tired of my life....I'm thinking that I have 40 or so more years to go, for what reason? I'll be alone this next half, and my life will be the same, bitter, untrusting, miserable and full of regrets. What kind of existence is that? Oh God, please tell me why I should go on.........Elly

Dear Elly,

I think at this stage in your life you've got a clear cut case of the "Wish Id's." {A Babzism} And it seems to me that it's a rather serious case at that. But it is somewhat curable.

I recognize it, your situation, quite clearly as I've gone through it myself. And if the truth were known, I still do, more often than not. Yes, at 50, you have to know that I have asked myself the same tired questions that you are. In fact, I didn't like my own answers, personally.

I do believe, at any age, people go through this or rather ask themselves the same questions. It just may be what spurs us on to bigger and better things. Now, you can not change the past, EVER but you sure as hell can change the future. And in the interim, you look back in retrospect, you hopefully learn from your mistakes and keep moving forward. Live, Learn & Laugh Like Hell about it all...hopefully.

No, this is not going to be my version of the sidelines cheerleader squad (I was a Majorette anyway, not a cheerleader). But I would like to remind you to re-evaluate your goals, re-establish those goals starting out a bit more reasonably.

I'd prefer to see you stop kicking yourself in the ass for what you did not do, who you did not become, what you were not able to accomplish. It serves no one, least of all yourself.

This case of the "Wish Id's," is similar to anger, an anger based upon things for which you have no control over; your past. While I do value your exploration in this process you are going through, it serves no one, least of all you. It is destructive and allowed to continue unbridled, unchecked well G-Friend, you are on a course to implosion.

My suggestion is to understand first that life is all a matter of perception. In example, not one of my sins sons is "worldly successful." I've said this before. But the one thing about my children that I am not only fond of but rather proud of is that they are all good human beings, good hearted, compassionate to a fault, just all around good guys. They are God fearing, have a great sense of humor, a wonderful sense of family and solid values and beliefs.

All grown, big and hairy men(and good looking to their Mama), they generally do not have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of but what little they do have they have worked for, not stolen from to get or taken anything or anyone for granted.

And while we love our children, quite often we do not like them, now do we? At least this is a truism for those of us who are willing to admit it. So, can you appreciate the thought that I not only love my sons but like them and enjoy their company?

You may be asking yourself, at this juncture, "Well Aunt B, c'mon, really what in the Sam Hell does this have to do with me?" I think what I'm trying to convey to you is, for real, what is your definition of success?

As I mentioned before, you truly need to look at your values and belief systems and tweak the shit outa them. Wake up tomorrow morning with a fresh cup of coffee and a fresh outlook. Then, you march your ass into the bathroom, look yourself square in the eye and ask yourself, this pertinent question;

Am I a good person? (And every day, from that moment on, you look yourself in the eye, making absolutely sure you are looking into your own soul and not past it and ask that question).

"When it's all said and done, I do personally believe that you will be remembered for the good you do even if it's one person at a time."

Just as a suggestion you could possibly start a blog (hey, it's free)as an outlet, working towards a common goal. I have personal friends who do a lot of animal rescue, a much needed service and mentality. You could begin making a difference even if it's just in your own backyard, you see?

The thing is, the important thought process here is for you to do what you can to make a difference, one person at a time. And to prove my point; I have been doing this "Ask Aunt B(WP)" gig since 2006. Since it's inception, Xmichra and I have answered upwards of 400 letters/questions from every walk of life. Now, I'd like to think we've made a dent in and contributed to helping others. Again, one person at a time.

There is no greatness in what we do. That is proven by the fact that more often than not we don't even get a reply from the person that's sent us a question. And even though we've poured our hearts out at times, we may not get so much as a thank you, not even a "kiss my ass."

However, there have been times, although they are few and far between where we get a letter from a reader telling us that we've most certainly helped them, they've gained a perspective that they were not able to see and/or that we made a difference in their life. And that right there, Ma'am, is the only reason I bother to do this. Yes, that tad bit of an attitude of gratitude that we might get, spurs us on.

Find that special something that you can do, one person at a time, maybe even, "One Kitty Cat or Doggie" at a time!

Keeping It Real,

Aunt B

Dear Elly,

You sound like you are worn out and need a break! Wearing yourself emotionally thin can cause a lot of depression and feelings of unfulfilment... but so can surrounding yourself with people who are unappreciative.

I understand that you feel bound to take care of your father. And I understand that you need to stay employed. But those two things shouldn’t be your whole life.... you have passions! And everyone needs a bit of personal down time, which I don’t think you are taking for yourself.

Thinking about how other people see you isn’t the goal. It’s how you see yourself. And you are doing yourself a great dsi-service by not recognising that you have made some very huge sacrifices in your own life to help others. People are just another form of animal Elly, and you are looking after them feeding them helping them in a time of need. Don’t sell yourself short, you are doing something that a lot of others wouldn’t do... you are giving your time and helping your father. You are a good person, and you deserve some acknowledgment for that.

As for the internet dating, we all make mistakes. You were in a vulnerable position and you were taken advantage of by an asshat. Internet or not, there are plenty of asshats out there and your situation, unfortunately, is a common one. These guys (and gals) can’t do anything for themselves and look for a “free ride”. They are lazy, manipulative liars who con their way into your life and savings account. And you saw through that in the end, but you can’t possibly think that you would see that right from the start. These people know what they are doing, and lie to get what they want. You are a genuinely good person and wouldn’t lie like that, so naturally you wouldn’t think someone would lie like that either. It is not naive, it is human. Don’t beat yourself up for this Elly, it is totally not your fault.

You said that you were close to your mother, and that can be really tough when a mother dies. I would suggest that you try finding a grieving support group to try and help you through this. There are several that deal with female cancers, so that would be the first place to try. But you really do need to talk about this, and begin to let go. You are beating yourself up for not measuring up to a standard, and that is unfair to you. You need to find some support and start to feel better, you really need to feel better Elly. It is essential.

Your last statement, why should you go on? Because Elly, you are so far from being done!! You have a whole life left to live, and you can change it to be whatever you want it to be! You are doing something unimaginably kind to support your father... do the same for yourself! Let your passions out, offer assistance in an animal shelter, take a night class for veterinary assistant, go to that support group and vent! You need release and to have something that is yours, and you are worth the effort, don’t you think?

If you need help finding a support group please let us know, and we will help find one in your area. The most important message I want you to finish reading from me is:

YOU ARE WORTH THE SAME EFFORT YOU SELFLESSLY GIVE TO OTHERS!!!

I hope you read that, and give yourself the shot at a life not realised. You have so much to do still, and so much to enjoy.

~Xmichra

Have A Question??? Nothing Is Taboo!!!

Click Here to Ask Aunt B

Rough Patch

Dear Aunt B,

A while ago I went through a bit of a rough patch, I withdrew myself from my
friends and stopped going out with them. I felt very depressed and I don't know why.
Now i'm feeling so much better and I just wanted things to go back to normal with my friends but it didn't. I have no close friends anymore and i feel stupid trying to
talk to people who have no interest in me. They're not outright mean but they never
invite me to go out anywhere and I feel pathetic asking if I can come. I feel like I have lost so much of myself and i don't know what to do. I've tried making other friends but its my final year at school and everyone has their own friendships.Its just really hard because I have no one to talk to at all. What do you think i should do?

lisa


Dear Lisa,

I do so apologize for the delay in answering you. I am knee deep in taking care of my newest Grandbaby and am rather consumed. Quite actually, I think I'm in love with this sweetest of babies but non the less, I thank you for your patience.

The first thing that comes to mind was the adage, "You can never go home again." That means that once you leave, even a vacancy if only in your mind, well, things will never be the same. See, while you were in your head and going through what you were going through, life, people, every day living kept on going.

The second thing that comes to mind is the very fact that while you were going through this "rough patch" was anyone even there for you? If they tried and you pushed them away, that's one thing. But if they did not try, well, my conclusion is an obvious one; They were not 'good friends' to begin with. At least not in the sense of the word "friendship" that I know of???

Babz' Girlfriends Creed

I'll jump through fiery hoops to help you,
I'll pick up the pieces he's left behind,
I'll cry with you and wipe your snotty nose,
I'll eat M & M's and Ice Cream with you if it helps,
I'll answer the phone at 4am and swear like a seasoned Sailor with you,
I'll drive around half the night till we find him,
I'll help you bury the body... Then, I'll let you borrow my new lipstick, you know just to shine and freshen up!

from Bluff Backfired

For real though, unless you pushed everybody away, you'll need to redefine yourself and fashion yourself into an independent individual who does not need friends. It is then and only then that true friends will be found.

Just for the sake of opportunity, this premise that I just mentioned "you'll need to redefine yourself and fashion yourself into an independent individual who does not need friends" applies to how you'll relate to a potential suitor as well.

I hope you've addressed why you went through this rough patch, as depression tends to visit, quite often when we least expect it???

First and foremost, I hope you'll see that when God closes one door, He opens another and another. Look for that door of opportunity. Also remember that all things happen for a reason.

Whatever that reason may be, it will be up to you to find it. It may have been to save your life from a disastrous situation. Was someone you ran with hurt in an accident or something of that nature?

If I were you, I'd find something to hold your interests; a hobby, take long walks, etc. You must realize that at your age, "You'll want what you want when you want it NOW." Unfortunately, life does not work this way so you'll need to form some patience.

(In The Zone)

Ah yes, patience is the virtue you need to work on as I see things jumping off for you...just as soon as you begin to realize that friends do not make or break you.

A part of me can see that for the most part, you are extremely independent, kind of a loner? Quite often you wish to stay holed up in your room, stuck in your head as you do so tend to over analyze everything and anything.

I'd like to see you step out into one thing, one adventure, something you'd not normally do. Allow yourself to be led by your heart and not your head. This very well may open up those doors.

Yes, patience is your answer!

Keeping It Real,

Aunt B

Have A Question??? Nothing Is Taboo!!!

Love or Money???

Dear Aunt B,

Subject: Which Woman (love or money)


I'm a big blog fan of Xmichra and harbor a secret crush on her to spite the Aunt Bee Question. Ok, here we go:



I'm a 50 year old man from California, divorced three years ago. I have a good job and make good money, and at present I have two girlfriends.. Each knows about the other. Each is upset that I see the other and I need to make a decision. Can you help:

Woman 1: 40, very pretty, medical doctor, fun to be with and I love her because I simply do. The chemistry is phenomenal. She still has nearly half a million in med school debts outstanding and if we end up together, I'm going to end up assuming liability for some of that debt simply because I know I will. Yes she's a doctor, no, she can't save money.

Woman 2: 38, stunning, some college, fun, flirtatious, and she's all over me like a cheap suit. Hinted at marriage, openly said no pre-nup, and she's personally worth over $50 million (family money). I don't have the emotional connection I have with Woman 1, but she seems to be hung up on me. It would be very easy to be married to her, but she's not my best friend.

What do you think?

Love or Money?





Dear Love or Money,



Geez, you made me blush! Thank you :)



Now to get to your question. For love or money... it’s a tough call when you have a good chemistry, but it’s pretty apparent that you feel love for woman#1 and not for #2. So, to me, the rational choice is woman #1.

As for the “I'm going to end up assuming liability for some of that debt simply because I know I will” portion, well only you can control that. The woman is forty, and well understands a thing or two about life so I imagine if you had discussed this before getting completely serious (marriage, common law etc) that it wouldn’t be unreasonable to establish that her debt is in fact her own to clear. If you are the sort that simply cannot deal or function with dual bank accounts and separate payment responsibilities then that is more about the person *you* are than a “down side” to being with her. Don’t take that too offensively, as I am “that sort’ as well. I can’t watch my partner not go out for a meal because he can’t afford it, but I can. I believe in sharing responsibilities and sharing accounts and debts regardless of who’s is what, and then making mutual agreements on a budget and payouts. But that is *my* outlook, and not necessarily the popular one.



Anyway, to make this a little clearer, money is great fun and makes life seem a lot easier, but the company of someone you love is priceless. Sounds cheesy, but it is true. You probably know this already, having been divorced, that being in love with someone is more important than financial accommodation or comfort. And having said that, would you really want to be in a marriage or relationship that wasn`t 100%, after being in one like that already... my guess is no.



I think you know the answer. Now it`s just time to get the courage to put it to action.

Good Luck,

X-Xmichra

Have A Question??? Nothing Is Taboo!!!

"Self-Will Run Riot"

Dear Aunt B,

My Name is Beth and I am 24 years old from Colorado..A few months ago or more like since January I met this guy through some friends of mine and I had a little crush on him for a while but ended up getting over him.. or so I thought. anyway, I started to pray for him ( we both are christian and go to the same church and what not and have the same group of friends). for a while and still now I have been praying that we continue to be good friends and that we would talk and everything.. well God sure seemed to answer those prayers. I only prayed for him every night when I went to bed like I did for all of my other friends and thanking God for putting them into my life and everything. well..the last few weeks I started noticing how I started to pray for him much more during the day than i did my other friends. It is getting to the point to where I almost go through a whole day just praying for him and I feel like God has put him on my heart for some reason even though the chances of us being in a relationship is very unlikely. I don't even know why or where even it started (the constant praying for him part came from). I have been trying to force myself to get my mind off of him and it is not happening.. for a long time it seemed to work. I have never had this problem before with getting over crushes (even ones that I saw all the time).Then Last night I had this dream out of nowhere that he and I were slowdancing in a school gym with a few other people and I dreamed that he was the one for me and everything. I don't know if you can help me with advice or if you know much of how to help me in my situation and such.. I have been trying really hard to get over him and none of this has ever happened to another guy I know ever before and I totally thought I was over him and such. I am asuming that I am just over reacting to this and am over analyzing...but I don't know.. what are your thoughts?
Thanks,
Beth
Dear Beth,

Well my friend, a couple things come to mind as points to ponder;

#1 Are are thinking about him because you've stepped up your prayers for him, thus the dreams. And vice-versa?

#2 Are you forcing your wants and desires, in the form of prayer?

#3 While I hear you say that you are praying, are you allowing time for God to speak to you, in and within this dialogue?

First, I wanted to commend you in your devotions. Too often, I do believe people fall into the rhetoric of ritualistic behaviors. What I mean is that they view prayer as something you do at a certain time, every day or right before bed, etc.

In truth, just as you might stay on the line with your bestest of bestest friend, <---(a Babzism)sharing in all things, good, bad and grateful, this is how it should be with our Lord. Stay on the line, after all, there's no long distance fee!!!

I do believe things changed for me when I realized that to stay in constant dialogue with God was quite beneficial to/for me. As well, when I began to see even the smallest things to rejoice in and be grateful for, I am and was comforted.

But even for me, I find myself wanting to run the show. Good ol' "self-will run riot." And all my life, I've wanted to drive the car even though I kept wrecking it. I have to learn to allow the Lord to do the driving as well as "Letting Go & Letting God," in so many aspects of my life.

So, I only speak from experience when I say these things. I also was praying, blurting out things and never taking the time to shush up and listen. I am still convicted of this but that does not mean I won't pass on the tidbit to you hoping you'll conquer in this quest, this journey.

My advice to you would be to continue in your prayer but may I suggest that you speak to our Lord asking him for His will to be done, in all things. Change up things a bit and ask our heavenly Father for divine guidance, wisdom and for your wants and desires to be conducive and in line with His will.

Yes, I'd say that concentrating on this way of thinking will become your answer.

"I will also agree with you, in prayer, this very minute, that all things will be done for the good of and by the grace of our wonderful God. You must seek His face. Yes, seek His face. We'll pray for divine intervention on your behalf. If this fella is the one for you, he will be ordained by God Himself. If he is not your Mr. Right, God will heal your heart by steering you in the right direction. Remember; our Father, when He closes one door, He always opens another. May He bless you, shine upon you with His heavenly Light and show you the way. I also ask that Christ/Yeshua might set about finding you a mate that is hand picked. And may He illuminate your future husband. Whether it be this fellow or not, we can agree, in prayer, that our Lord's will be done and that you and your mate will be to the glory of The Father!"

Listen and be still. Listen for that small still voice to guide your way...

Keeping It Real,

Aunt B



Dear Reader,

God is not putting this bloke into your head, you are. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Now all you need is a little gumption.

Why? Because you need to ask this guy out. Seriously.

You have a huge crush on this guy, and you are friends, you hang out already, so what’s the big set back? I’m pretty sure you can ask him out on a date, and think you really should.

This is an out and out case of a big crush, and wanting to see if it can lead to more. Maybe he is shy, or maybe he doesn’t know how you feel, but he is not asking you out so far, so why not just ask him? The only way you are ever going to figure out if he is meant for you, is by getting to know him on a different level, and I’m sorry honey but praying for him ain’t gonna make that happen. YOU can make things happen, by action.

Be brave! Take a chance! ASK HIM OUT!

Good Luck :)

~Xmichra

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