Dear Aunt Babs,I have lived in a new subdivision for about 6 years with my husband and three young children. After the first year a 20's something women moved in next door with her husband and child. On our first introduction she wanted to know every detail of my home (example: square footage of rooms, window count, blah, blah). She made me feel very uneasy so I kept my distance from her, but I would still stay polite and engage in greetings and very small talk.
As we would make improvements to our home like landscaping, painting or basically anything visible. She would always inquire what was going on. I would always say something like oh my husband just likes to stay busy and he's just puttsing around. She would then go to my husband and ask him. I would tell him not to say too much to her because I had a bad feeling about her. But I guess his forty year old dumb ass just loved the attention she gave him. Soon after he would tell her what his plan was for our house, we would get letters from our assoctiation, town hall, and later the police.
She was psycho. But he didnt believe me. He told me I was jealous of her and that she likes him and not me.
Well as time went on it all escalated this is what she did to us:
She poisoned our vegetable garden every year (until she moved)
Screamed at my then 3 year old --It gave him nighmares for years to follow.
Repeatedly called and made false police reports against me.
Her and her friends made jokes about me being fat and old in front of my daughter.(She actually thought I was in my 30's and I'm only about 20 lbs overweight,she copied my hair, clothes,car.)
She would complain to my husband about how horrible I was when he was at work he just listened, never defended me -I overheard it happening once.
She would call town hall, the association for countless issues, and the police just to screw with us.
Throw dog and cat crap in my yard.
Put nails in our driveway (her husband was a carpenter.)
Got other neighbors that were even worse than her to screw with us while she lived there and after she moved away.
Well one day, when I was collecting baby stuff to donate. I was checking a baby monitor to see if it still was good.--Guess who's house had one?The B----dog's, (that is my pet name for her). Wow a gift from God. I soon found out what true evil was. Yes --I did listen. She was obsessed with us. I heard her planning to poison our garden (I taped it), heard her calling police, town and association on us; Telling everyone how much she hated me and that I am making her life miserable.
I never did anything to her. But when I heard her plans she was making to mess with us with her other evil friend and neighbor, I was able to counter them each and every time. It was sooo bad. I just hated the bad feeling of listening but I did protect my family and property. And I felt it was just such a time waster too, listening to her. I heard her beating up her husband, kids and just being very viscious and nasty to service workers, customer service people. B-dog feels she is entitled to everything.
My big opener was when she was bragging to her friend on how she is going to sue me for harrassment and sue my husband for messing up her yard from his landscaping work. She said she was building a case against us. About the landscaping, she tried so hard to get her husband to copy everything we did--I first though of it as "keeping up with the Jones" --but her husband messed up everything on his own under her direction.
That is when we got security cameras and put them on our garden and yard area. We prevented alot of damage to our property. We almost got her on camera poisoning our garden -But her friend noticed the cameras the day of the poisoning and she called the pd and tried to make us remove them. I told the pd the story they did nothing and I also mentioned the audio, the cop said he did not want to hear about it.
Well after a while the Bdog moved and her scumbag friends that live behind us picked where she left off and well it only got worse. But that is another story in itself.
Well a couple of weeks ago, my other next door neighbor had a party for his daughter. Guess who was there?The B-dog. The neighbor is about 44yrs old, newly divorced, he has a good job, 18 yr daughter, 24 yrs old- drug/addict/on parole son, beautiful house and plenty of cash.She is his new Girlfriend. OMG. She is on the other side of me now. He was my best neighbor.He knew that she was awful to us and wost of all she is married with two sons about 3 and 5ish.
Well, when I first saw her my chest got tight and I was surprised, but I remained cool and just kept laughing. I did not interupt the party But we did leave early.
My husband wants to "bust" her and tell her husband what a slut she is and provide him with pictures that he has taken. I would like to do the same but... I have second thoughts. I think the husband would just tell her the info and she would retaliate My nieghbor guy would hate us. She might get kicked out and move in with him sooner that planned. I think she is screwing this guy for extra money and nice things. I also believe that her husband is not cutting it and not working enough to pay bills and mortgage. I think she is looking to upgrade husbands so she can maintain her status.
My question is should we get our revenge on her as mentioned? Or should we just sit back and watch her move in next door. We cannot afford to sell our house to move at this time due to the economy and my husband just got back to work two months ago.
Or if you have any other suggestions, I would greatly appreciate it. I just want the b-dog and the anxiety to go away. I hate the feeling of her threatening my kids and me. I do not want to be her victim. But everytime I was passive with her, She always always turned it up a notch. I am 47 yrs old and I'm afraid she will get physical with me .-I have seen her wrestle other women before. Like her girlfriend that lives behind, us they always wrestle and makeout.I guess thats what they do nowadays.
Thank You for your time.
The BlondeMom
If malice or envy were tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang. ~Charley Reese
Dearest BlondeMom,Wow, you've got your hands full. What a stinkin' wanna be Bitch, huh? I really really can't stand a no count girl like that. She's not a woman so I don't even give her that. One thing I will say I believe; She's so jealous of you she's livid. I mean really why else would she bother with you?
It's obvious that the police don't seem to want to be bothered with what they might term as "Domestic Squabbling." Or Or Or she's blowing the Force and feeding them creme filled donuts made personally by hers truly. {Note to self; Be nice}
Well BlondeMom, I'm old school. I'm Fighting Irish and have been fighting the good fight all my life...well short of those bad girl years I had(but we won't dwell on that, eh?). Suffice it to say, she's a bully, loud and clear. And the thing they've proven about bullies is that they almost always have self-esteem issues thus they use fear to garner respect.
Fighting Fire with Fire
Sometimes ya just gotta get Medieval on their asses and show them how to play the game. Now, Buck the F**k up. This ain't no Pep Talk but simply how you need to begin to see things. Hopefully, your eyes will become wide open. Yes, I want you to begin to see her for what she really is;
(But she's really just a lil' girl in big clothes)
Sure she's a tough one but DO NOT be afraid of her in any way, shape or form. This is what she wants and...she can smell the fear. Let me repeat myself and I quote,
I say this with all the certainty in my being. She wants what you have and knows she'll never have it. So, she plays her dirty little games doing her damnedest to best you. You'll have to have a strategy to show her really how the game is played. It does not entail being vindictive or getting even. Nope, it's called;
"Being & Becoming a Righteous Woman," which by the way, she'll never be and can not copy.
You will rise above this, all of it. You will no longer be a victim nor will you be passive. You should take comfort and gain strength just knowing that you have what she wishes she could. But we need not concentrate on this. What you need to do is begin to play the Game...
I would start by spinning a web, spreading a little gossip to someone you know it'll find it's way back to her. I'm quite sure she has a double agent, you know someone who pretends to be your friend yet goes back and tells her everything.
Spin: I would tell this person that you have a friend of the family, a not so nice guy that has seen all the evidence and is working on this. Now, make sure you ask this person not to tell anybody. (Of course, they'll run right back and spill their guts, hopefully).
Spin: You tell them that this not so nice friend of the family is a Private Detective and he's working on the case. You say he's compiling pictures, etc. to use against her. You make sure you mention that he has friends in "High Places" and he plays on both sides of the Law. You give them a few tidbits, morsels to mull over, i.e., that this guy once planted drugs on a guy that had caused a bunch of trouble.
Spin: Then tell them that the guy and his wife went to jail for it. Giggle and say that the Private Dicks client was more than pleased as the pair went away for a few years.
Spin: Then you mention on the D.L. (down low, just in case, lol)that this P.I. is cooking up something real good to handle this all and won't even tell you what it is that way you are not nor will you ever be implicated.
This may make her a bit paranoid enough to leave you alone and to mind her own P's & Q's...
Now, in the event that all this is not possible (I believe it'll work if you set it into action and think about it carefully) I want you to begin a program of assertive posturing. I no longer want you to be a victim in this. I no longer want you to be passive either. You'll put on your "Bitch Belt™" and rise above.
See, I'm a firm believer in a few things, namely body language, innuendo and how one carries themselves. Now, I'm not talking about acting superior or egotistical but you are so far above her it is almost debilitating to her. This is why she targets you. It's actually become an obsession for her.
From this point on, I'd like you to be aware of your posture. If you happen to see her, do not look into the face of fear but put that fear in it's place. I mean, for real, she has no power over you unless you let her. Take it back!!!
No, you'll face this fear, if you happen to run across her and you'll not look away. In fact, you'll look her straight in the face, with a twinkle in your eye as if you have some dirty little secret and you are holding in the laughter. It's excruciatingly funny and it's all you can do to contain it.
She's nothing but a redneck bully, a covetous whore. See her for what she really is and no longer allow her to intimidate you in any way.
My Advice would be to first pray for wisdom, strength and guidance. This should always be your first and foremost direction. And if the afore mentioned SPIN does not work, write me again and I'll tell you all about our Plan B...
Keeping It Real,
Aunt BP.S. May my good friend, Mz. Karma Bitchslap™ be with you!!
“When you're a beautiful person on the inside, there is nothing in the world that can change that about you. Jealousy is the result of one's lack of self-confidence, self-worth, and self-acceptance. The Lesson: If you can't accept yourself, then certainly no one else will.”Sasha Azevedo quotes (American Actress, Athlete and Model)
Romans 12:19Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
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