Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Take Responsibility

Dear Aunt B,

ok well im in a relations ship right now ive been datin him for about a year and half but been together together for 2months this happened bout a month a go but anywho when we first started talking i didnt take it as serious as i do now bc at first he wasnt really acting like he wanted to be serious and now u can just tell and i made a huge mistake and slept with an x and the condom broke and now idk what to do bc im late and im just prayin i get ma period but how do i tell ma bf in fact i am that it may not be his ?? or should i tell him at all the other guy and i talked and he said he would pay for an abortion but i just dont believe in that but i dont wanna loose ma bf i love him so much and made a terrible mistake HELP!!!

Dear Reader,

Okay, so let me see if I got this right: You are with guy #1. You and he weren’t “serious” up until a few months ago. And in that time you had sex with guy #2, the condom broke and you might be pregnant, and now you don’t know what to do.

First off, do you know for sure you’re pregnant? Did you take a test? See a doctor? You need to find out, and right away. Now, I am not an advocate for abortion in this situation at all, but if you want options you have to know rather quickly what you are doing. Personally, you said you don’t believe in abortion, so I would tell you o take that right off the list of options. If you had an abortion under duress, you will regret it and you will be mentally fucked. Guaranteed. You need to be responsible, stop worrying about the guys and what will/might happen and do what you need to do for your body, and your baby (if you are pregnant). So, step one, get tested!

Deciding to tell your guy #1 about your cheating is up to you. But if you are pregnant, and it *might not* be his baby, he has every right to know.

Not to mention, Just imagine you keep this from him, you two get married, your baby grows into a child say 5 or 6 and falls off the monkey bars at the playground, breaks their leg pretty badly and losses blood. Your guy wants to give *his* child blood and wait, what?, the blood doesn’t match??

YA. You see how that works? And don’t for one second think something won’t happen to divulge your secret. It will. And you will walk on egg shells every day of your life trying to avoid it, and will be wrapped in a web of lies. This is no way to live, no way to raise a child, no way to LOVE. If you are pregnant, step two: come clean.

After that, who knows what will happen. But you need to take responsibility (step 3) for what has happened, and you need to stop thinking of just yourself, it isn’t just about you anymore.

So, to recap: step 1, get tested. Step 2, fess up. Step 3, take responsibility. That is my advice. I wish you the courage and strength to do this, and to learn from your mistakes.


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