*Cured*???

Dear Aunt B,

HELP!!!

My story starts off 2 years ago in January, 2007. I met a guy who was enlisted in the Army. We became very serious very quickly. He went away to boot camp, I waited and wrote a letter a day. He granted me the same, a letter usually every day. He went away to war, and I waited. The letters never stopped. I lost my virginity with him when he took leave for 2 weeks.

He is spontaneous and respectable and is an Army veteran. I have never had more fun with another person in my life. In May, 2008, I moved in with him near his post in Louisiana, Fort Polk. We started off strong. We hit a few bumps along the way, like that we weren't used to seeing so much of each other. But we grew so much and learned a lot about each other.

We got a puppy, and things were smooth for about 6 months. He started having nightmares and breakdowns. His experiences in the middle east didn't let him sleep. He started going to therapy, but the unbalances just kept getting worse. I did everything I could to keep his mind and peace stable. One night, he lost it and hurt me pretty bad. He choked me and pulled some hair out. I called the police, of course, and he was taken in solitary confinement. After that, things were never the same.

Never has a man laid his hands on me and been given another chance. But I wasn't working, had no means of leaving, and had not even anywhere else to go. So I stuck it out. In November, 2008, he was discharged on the grounds that he was not mentally fit to serve anymore due to his tour in the middle east. His therapy continued and the medications were never enough. He got worse and worse. I got a job in January and moved out. I have been living on my own ever since.

I met a nice guy, he has money and a good job and a great family and he is very ambitious and has that stereotypical nice guy syndrome. He promised me everything. He wanted to get married and have children. After about 2 months, I realized that there were things about him that I would never be able to live with.

Then just like a word from the heavens, my first called me up again. He told me he was finally stabilized and on the right medications and he was getting about 1600 dollars a month for his disabilities. All of a sudden, I am caught up in this mess... I don't know which guy I am supposed to be with. Guy # 2 is great. He is stable on all levels, he has a great future ahead of him. But his quirks and character just clash with mine.

Guy # 1 was my first love. He and I were like salt and pepper. And aside from the abuse and instability, we were perfect. But according to the world, I can't be with him anymore because of what he did to me. I am attracted to both. Both give me different things. I am one person when I am with Army Guy and another person when I am with Perfect Guy.

What do I do?

Lost and Confused
Britani



Dear Lost and Confused,

Okay. I know I am sounding like a broken record here, but you need to figure out your heart not the pros and cons of the guys. Regardless of what these two bring to the table (so to speak) you need to figure out which one you cannot live without, and that is the guy you should be with.



To me, that sounds like guy #1. Now, I don’t know if he is totally *cured* or what have you. But regardless, if you are in love with him then you are doing a grave disservice to yourself and to guy #2 by sticking around. Not only because you are not in love with #2 so you are unhappy, but #2 is not free to find the love he is entitled to as well.



You need to really take a hard look at yourself and be totally honest. Attraction and love are two very separate feelings, and once you figure out which guy belongs where, I am certain you will know what you have to do in order to follow your heart.



Good luck, and brightest blessings.

~Xmichra




Dear Reader,

I always pray before I answer these questions that you readers send. I pray for wisdom to answer you. I pray that my Intuitions will be exact. And because I do take this quite seriously, my hope is to give you some semblance of an answer, chock full of honesty. Yes, because I do see the importance of your question, it is always my wish that I may be given words of wisdom, words that will never be a hindrance but will help you.

First, let me say that I never want to steer you in the wrong direction. Therefore, my first suggestion is for you to carefully consider all this as well as pray for your own administration and execution of your life. You pray that you make the right choices.

Speaking of choices, allow me to remind you that you do not need to be hasty in any way, shape or form and in fact, I urge you to take it nice and slow. In all honesty, it looks to me like you might be lured by all the wrong factors. Ask yourself what those factors are.

For all intent and purpose, most would say that it's a bad combination or so you've been told when it comes to getting back with your military man(MM). Most would say that "once an abuser, always an abuser." So, let's think about all this, okay?

I do urge caution on your part. I also would like you to talk to this fella about the contingency in your lives together. Now, if you can not be brutally honest with him, if you can not speak fluently to him about your fears concerning past abuse, then you don't have a chance in hell of making this work.

See, I was in an abusive relationship, one which was so bad, I ended up shooting him, almost killing him. I tell you this because I want you to know I do, in fact, know what I am talking about. I also loved him more than words can say. He was my everything and it was very passionate. We both have rather volatile tempers, military backgrounds, PTSD, the correlations are endless. So, I understand.

I think the chief ingredient here is whether or not he really understands that it is wrong for him to put his hands on you...EVER!! He has got to know and actually comprehend, picture, how he wouldn't want someone bigger and meaner beating and scaring the piss out of him. You've got to put it into perspective for him because believe it or not, most men do not think this way and can't even fathom what it is like.

More importantly, he has got to reassure you that he has or will do some sort of continued counseling or anger management. I do believe that most men can be rehabilitated if, for one, they choose to look at their behavior and secondly, if they choose to seek counsel, understand the importance of therapy for his issues and so on.

The biggest issue here is for him to understand that there's no shame in this game IF he does something to help himself. And you remind him that "A man is only as good as his tools." Yes, those tools may be taught through therapy, in the form of coping skills and actual anger management.

I sure wish you were here, sitting right in front of me because I have so much to say, so much to tell you and unfortunately, so very much to warn you about. You must proceed with that caution, I mentioned. But it can work if you approach this at the right angle.

You kind of have an upper hand, per say and I would play it to the full extent. If this man, your MM really loves you, you two should be able to talk about anything and everything. Red flags should be noticed right away, if you can not. The reason I say this is two fold;

Foremost, you must, and I am going to reiterate the fact that you both must be able to talk about MM's issues...all of them, any and all. He must be able to allow you into his inner soul if you are both to heal from the past. Additionally, the couples that make it in this topsy turvy world are the ones that rely on each other...just as he relied on his fellow soldiers in battle.

It's all a matter of trust. He must trust you emotionally and vice versa. This comes from a place of understanding that if "you don't have each other, you have nothing."

My Advice; you've got to explain all this to him and set up some boundaries, meaning that he has got to know that if he lays a hand on you, you will be forced to prosecute. This is for your own safety. You must reiterate all of this in terms he can understand. It must be said in a manner that he realizes that you are serious and that "You don't hit the one you love."






Keeping It Real,

Aunt B

Sexual Healing

Dear Reader's,

This is from another one of my many websites and is of adult content. As you can see or rather will read, Aunt B has walked on the Wild Side, a time or two. I can be brazen, possibly even vulgar but one thing's for certain;

This is good advice!

Sex Coupons

Don't be afraid to comment here, the CIA says this is a valid subject!

Yes, my Dear Readers, I can, have and may always be "Rude, Crude and Socially Unacceptable" but I always speak the truth. If you want your spouse or partner to keep shopping at your store, well, it's all in the packaging...

I am 50 years old. Yes, I'm an old Slut with a capitol "S" and I do not apologize. I started having sex, way back in 1971. I think this gives me a good idea, what the whole scenario is all about. It also has taught me a lot about how men/women operate, right? This post applies to all sexual preferences and it knows no boundaries. I do think monogamy is a wonderful thing and in this day and age, safe sex is the only way to go. That means, don't think that, that guy, who's just so cute, with that nice ass,, may not be infected or that chick doesn't have a disease, right. Don't be another statistic, wear a condom, if you've not got a history with this person, ok? Every single person, including myself, never thought it would happen to them. But this post is about having a good time. Nothing says lovin', like a chubby in the oven!

Yes, it's a tad crude but you get the idea, right?

(Right click, save and print) (Do It!)


One thing I have learned, is you have to spice things up, sometimes, you know, to keep your man/woman from shopping at another store. Well, that and threatening their life, that they'll never live to remember their indiscretion or live to tell about it, if caught.

The other thing I learned, is, getting old, is a matter of compiling memories, good or bad. Hopefully, you have more good than bad. My wish would be that I live, at least a few more years, too and build and retain more memories. My demise would be to get Alzheimer's and not remember a damn thing. Then again, those with Alzheimer's often digress, back to their teens or when they were younger. Now that would be some cool shit, huh? But the big question is gonna be;

"Have I lived?"

I'd like to think I have had a long life, full of memories, enough for a book, anyway. But it comes down to building some really good memories.

I Double Dog Dare You!

I dare you to walk on the edge. I dare you to do something, you'd never dream of doing and I'm not talking about Bungee Jumping! Think out of the box. Think out of the norm or status quo.

Sometimes, it's even the smallest approach that will get him/her thinking. Do something that you've never done. Have sex somewhere unusual and be daring. Stop that missionary shit for one night. Get on that pony and ride. Be a trick rider. Ride backwards, holding onto his toes, then he can watch the whole thing. Mirrors are fun too!

Most men, want Betty Crocker in the kitchen and a trained Prostitute in bed. Give it to him, I guarantee, he will not forget it. Go out with a skirt and no panties. Your husband will be driven nuts, the sexual tension will be so thick, you can cut it with a knife.

Strip for him or surprise him when he comes home from work, dressed in a teddy or whatever. I've never heard of a man who complained that his wife wanted sex, when he came home from work. I've never heard a man say his wife was too demanding, always wanting sex.

Make a list of places, you want to have sex and try to mark off that list. I can't remember my exact list and I know I have not done them all, as one of them was to screw in a Castle in Ireland. Some were improv, such as having sex on the 33rd floor of the Washington Monument in D.C. or when I went into the walk-in freezer with that good-looking Latin Lover/Dishwasher at a restaurant I worked at. Good grief, he rocked my world but then he started stalking me, ranting about love. Who knew?

But I think the cleverest thing I ever did, was to give my husband, a book of coupons for Christmas. I had no money, as a young bride, staying home with my son. So, I cut and colored a whole book of pull outs for "A Blow Job on Demand." I honored ever coupon, no matter how daring it was, or how afraid I was of getting caught.

"He got that "Coupon Book" and a box of chocolate covered cherries, his favorite, every Christmas."

Years later, before he died, he had told me, through all the years, that was the only gift he loved the most, the one most memorable. After the first coupon book, I'd ask him what he wanted for Christmas and he'd always answer, "you know what I want" and I gave him another coupon book. He then gave, recounted, exactly where he used every coupon and the whole scenario, as if it had happened just yesterday.

He remembered all right..yes, he remembered, whipping out a coupon, he kept in his wallet. We were at the brand new movie, "Star Wars," in the balcony, all by ourselves. He even remembered the time, he almost wrecked the car, giggling with delight as he recounted;

We were riding down a back road and as he neared a curve, my head got stuck in the steering wheel. "What a way to die," he exclaimed, a huge shit eatin' grin on his face.

He remembered handing me a coupon, at a Jack in the Box, fast food restaurant and us going into the men's room, right then and right there, me on my knees. Or the time, we were driving from Virginia to New York, on the Interstate. I'd not known it at the time but he'd handed me a coupon and I was doing the dirty deed. All the while a Trucker was watching us and gave my husband a "Thumbs Up" and mouthed the words, "Lucky Bastard."

He could recall, every single coupon and had the biggest smile and isn't that what love is, making your significant smile? Better yet, isn't it about the good memories? When you're old and gray, a memory might even start a fire. Those slow burning embers just might be rekindled, huh?

Be crazy, be slutty, be daring, be dirty cause they'll remember it longer than they'll remember you in your bathrobe, hair all screwed up. They'll recall the good times more than the bad, if... "You Blow Their Mind!"

Keeping It Real,

Aunt B

"Nice Guys Finish Last"...Or Do They?

Dear Aunt B,

First of all thank you for reading my e-mail; I really appreciate you helping me out when I can’t turn anywhere else for advice.

I’m in the 2nd year of college and in the freshman year I befriended a girl from my class. She was already in a long distance relationship with this guy for the past two years.

Well me and that girl really had a lot in common so we became best friends and always spent every possible minute together. After sometime I got to found out that her boyfriend was ignoring her and might have had another affair so she had broke up with him. Well being a good friend I consoled her and supported her in every way possible. As time went by and she improved I realized that I was in love with her and proposed to her. She also gladly accepted and said that she had the same feelings for me for the past sometime as well.

So everything was going very well for the past nine months , we had been going along very will, that is until her ex-boyfriend found about us. He suddenly “realized his mistake and rushed to my city to see her” to my disbelief she also went and met him although I forbade her. He uses all kinds of different pressure tactics to force her to be with him. He blackmails her, when she refuses to meet him, he kidnaps her from front of her home, he threatens to expose her to her family, commit suicide and so on. Even when the three of us met he said that he will do whatever means necessary to get her back, even if that means hurting her or killing me!

She will neither do anything against him, nor will she let me do anything about it. I had offered to pick her up from her doorsteps and even “take care of him” if he became too much of a problem. It’s almost like she misses him and wants to go back to him. I told her about my concerns and she said that she can’t help it, he, and his welfare is her first priority and she will stick with him as long as he wants to, but she still loves me and only me.

Well as a month passed bad went to worse as I found out that he is taking admission here and so she began to spend all available time with him, leaving me all alone. I have been insulted in our college and by my friends on this issue. She even spent our first anniversary with him, can you imagine how much that hurt me? She suggested to me that we remain just friends, I mean how is that possible, just because you’re feelings got diverted, doesn’t mean that so did mine. I feel that I have been sold out, that my feelings aren’t worth anything and that I have been back stabbed for the past nine months of unconditional love and devotion; both emotionally and financially.

I finally confronted her and told her that she couldn’t have it both ways and that I had been too lenient and caring and that she will have to choose between me, my friendship, my love and him. Well guess what, she chose him and told me that I should forget her forever. And we haven’t spoken since then.

The question I want to ask you is that, what went wrong? I left no stone unturned to make her feel special, which I swear on god. Doesn’t she see that what she’s doing is wrong, He left her once, and he can and will do it again. She’s not even concerned that for the next year she will have to face me in class every day. More importantly was my decision to leave her a right one? Or should I have stuck with her? And what do I do to overcome the intense feelings of hate and anger that I have?

Once again thank you very much for reading my problem and replying, I am really grateful for your advice.

Dear Reader,

Wow, reading this letter was actually gut wrenching. But as I read, I found myself actually becoming angry and rather frustrated for you. My thoughts are not very kind right now. I will try to remain impartial though, as always.

What I see is a woman that is being emotionally blackmailed in every way possible. I also see that I think she just might have the attitude, "If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em." Unfortunately, she gave in to his demands, his blackmail, his out and out line of bullshit.

Now, don't take this wrong but he actually fought a better fight than you. He played "Dirty Pool," in every way, shape and form and ultimately won. But she also let him. It's as if it's a scenario from a Play, "Nice Guys Finish Last," now isn't it?

If it's any consolation, I do not believe she'll ever be happy with him. No, in fact, she'll always be miserable but continue to tell herself that she's happy. It's not happiness when you have to analyze it, when it doesn't come naturally and you have to actually question it. And I dare say, she will question and spend many nights wondering, "What if," she'd allowed you to rescue her.

But she didn't let you rescue her, even though there was a constant side of her that wanted it. Something inside told her to tell this guy to kick rocks, to get the hell outta her life. But she didn't, did she?

When I stated earlier that he won, I want you to understand that yes, he won that fight but you will ultimately win the battle because for real, I hope you will one day see that you are better than that, you are one of the good guys and you deserve someone that won't treat you as she did. Now, I know there's a side of you that is still so hurt over this, over her, that you can't hardly bear to read some of this. But if the truth were known, well Sweetheart, she was never yours to begin with.

I know this all hurts you and my prayer will be that you will heal quickly and in such a way that you will learn from this and become stronger. I will pray that you will become a better man because of this and that all this pain is not for naught.

You have got to, first of all, ready yourself for the *right woman, again, learning from the entirety, all this that you've endured. All that we go through in life, from our jobs to our personal life, will, if we play our cards right, ready us for our future. Come what may.

The mistakes we will most assuredly make along the way, hopefully, we'll learn from and it will round us in to the good person, good husband, partner, employee that we might aspire to be.

What I am implying is not that your relationship was a mistake. Allow me to make this crystal clear. I imagine that you loved her and still do. Yes, true love does not just die and can not be turned off with the flick of a switch. Nor does love go away, if it is real, over night or because we have been injured by the person we love.

What I am saying is this; You wrote me and asked us our opinion and you can bet your bum, we'll give it to you. My "Intuitions" tell me that you must move on no matter how painful this may be. I believe that it was never meant to be and unfortunately you have invested your heart into something that for all intent and purpose was actually an illusion.

Yes, she loved you and she always will but I do not believe she'll be able to break away any time soon. I also think that even if she were to come back to you, in the near future, the trust you had and possibly even that love has been damaged, most likely beyond any repair.

My advice to you, at this juncture is to search for something which will engage you. I know that your mind races constantly, does it not? You are always questioning the what if's and shoulda, coulda, woulda's of this whole affair. And yes, I know that it torments you.

My Rx is for you to find something that will first make you laugh, at least twice a day (Go to Comedy Central or YouTube). As well, find something which will really capture your attention and take your mind off of things, i.e., games, research, maybe even a new hobby. Bide your time and heal. All will be well. Most of all; Be good to yourself. You are the kind of guy that many girls dream of!!!

Keeping It Real,

Aunt B

*Is there a coffee house at the edge of town? She may be there?

Dear Reader,

Your story is a hard one to read, because you really didn`t *do* anything wrong. Aside from forbidding her to see the other guy (dude, you had to know that was just silly), you really didn`t do anything. She did a lot of things wrong here, but we aren`t going to talk about the wrong and the right anymore because it just doesn`t matter. What matters now, is you.

This might be harsh, but follow through okay?

You know what happened. She followed her heart. As hard as that is to hear, she did what she thought was right for her and her feelings at this time. You can see this guy is an ass, and you know his MO. But she can`t see it, or she sees something that you cannot. Regardless of the incidences, she has chosen which path she wants to be on. She isn`t thinking about how this will affect you in class every day. She is thinking about how it would affect you to stay with you while she was in love with her ex. Sorry to be blunt, but there it is.

You are doing the right thing by letting her go, because YOU deserve to be loved by someone who will return that love 100%. You will need time to recover, I am sure, and I know the feelings of anger and hate are all you can see right now. But time does heal wounds, and so does forgiveness. Seems like a foreign concept right now, I know. But in time you will see that you deserve someone who is in it, really in it, with you. And you will meet that person, and have learned from the scorn of being burnt in a relationship, just how sweet it is to find someone who treats you with respect and honors the commitment you have made.

Sound like a bunch of malarkey doesn`t it? Honestly though, this is what the situation is and how to work through it. If you dwell on what you think you could have had with this girl, you derail any efforts to find happiness.

You have the choice to forgive her for betraying you and to move on finding your happiness. Or the choice to be angry at her and be in a self induced hell. Personally, I hope you choose the first option.

Brightest Blessings

Xmichra

Reality

My Dearest Readers,

I'd written this comment to a young man, a few years ago. He happens to be Gay and was having a hard time with his identity. I'd found it, the comment, on his website. He'd posted it as a separate post as he'd stated he felt he needed to hear it.

Maybe, you might need to hear it especially if you are young and you may also be coming to grips with who you are and/or questioning just what the hell life is actually all about???

Growing up is never easy and we tend to spend our youth always wishing we were older. Once we reach and become "of age" we find all the duty and responsibility that comes along with being and becoming an adult, well, it sure ain't a bowl of cherries. The next thing ya know, you're wishing you could still be a kid again. Yes, when life was not so complex and possibly less painful.

So, if you're young and happen to be reading this, the best advice I could give you is to not rush to be an adult, it's not all it's cracked up to be, believe me. Always strive to be yourself, treat others as you want to be treated, say what needs to be said as tomorrow is never promised. Yes, live like there's no tomorrow and...

Reality. Some people have it all in this world. Some of us don't have a pot to piss in. It is good to strive to be in the middle cause anything else is just gravy. Don't expect it and it won't be a disappointment.

Aim high but stay low, don't ever be pretentious and things will fall in to place. Don't sweat the small shit and it's all small shit. Very important! But equally important, don't wait for anybody to save your ass. You are alone.

Whomever you choose to cushion your world with is a bonus but don't count on it. Have a higher power. Gay or not, God knows who you are and loves you. Does he make mistakes? I think not and he created you in His image. It is deviant behavior that he doesn't like and you know what I'm talking about, those nasty trollops.

Fail to plan, plan to fail but don't obsess. Don't be lazy. If something needs to be done that's important, you'll feel much better getting it done, then you can breathe. But those f'n dishes can wait when it's time to enjoy what life's really all about:

'Love, Laughter and Family'

Keeping It Real,

Aunt B

Nothing Is Taboo; Spanking

Hi Aunt B,

I am 61 male and have a desire to be bent over a woman's knee for a spanking is this normal and what should i do?


Dear Reader,


First question, yes it is normal. It is normal to fantasize about a plethora of things actually. And this is one of the ones where making it a reality isn’t a bad thing. There are plenty of people who like S&M (you would be a submissive in this action) and where this is not doing any harm to anyone I don’t see why you can’t see it to fruition.


On that note, you don’t specify if you are single or married/attached. This is important, because if you are you should share your desires with your mate. I cannot stress this enough. If you choose to pursue this desire without your partner... okay, well I would just simply advise you to not do that. Your desire isn’t sick or weird, it is a fantasy. If your partner isn’t “into” it that is fine as well. But you should share this about yourself.


There is a ton of reading material that you can research about spanking/S&M/etc. Make sure you are reading the right things (because some are just fantasy forums, and some are full of dogma) to get to know the “why” if you are interested. But the general want to be spanked isn’t abnormal.


When you do decide to pursue this desire with someone, please be sure to talk about it and not just spring it on them (talking about something socialy accepted as taboo requires buildup) and I again would strongly advise you to pursue this with a person who cares for you, because sometimes we will desire something but once we are *there* we change our mind, or decide it isn't what you'd thought it would feel like. So you want to have a safe environment with someone you trust.


I hope you find the right time/place/person to share you desire with.

~ Xmichra

Soulseer Said...

Dear Reader,

Many people have become desensitized to regular porn or regular sex because we are over saturated with it and by it. You can get regular porn anywhere now. But I would say that it's absolutely normal that you being a man would want to give up, um, and it's a power shift that you would want to give up power and release to being dominated and a lot of men are like this. They like to be sexually dominated because in real life they are almost always in power and responsible or held responsible and this is a way of giving up that power in a controlled setting.

Check out alt.com This is a fetish website which deals w/every fetish out there, pretty much. But you know, in closing it's absolutely normal and you should not ever be ashamed of it and maybe I encourage you to follow your dreams. Get yo freak on!!!

Be Yourself,

Soulseer

Dear Friend,

When we say "Nothing Is Taboo" when answering your questions, well you can see we mean it. I say this because some may think this is a taboo subject. I do not think it is and I happen to think if this is how you feel and it harms no one, then I see no problem with it.

Believe it or not, this may stem from how you were disciplined as a child. Yes, some children, in order to get attention will quite often do negative things in order to get that attention. Were you a mischievous young man?

I'm surprised that at 61 you are just now delving into this? Or perhaps you are just now realizing your fantasy about this? It could be that you are just now venting or admitting that this is what trips your trigger. Again, I see nothing wrong with it.

If you Google the word "Spanking" you will get an array of links, some suggesting the etymology of the word like in Wikipedia .Other links may lead you to such sites as the Spanking Club of New York. If you research this or even go into some of these sites you may very well find interested parties and fellow fetish friends.

And yet again, if you look around and just Google the word spanking as I said, you will find a lot of people that are into the same thing thus proving that you are not alone. I suggest that you do as I said, take a gander at some of these links where you just might find yourself at home, on familiar ground and you never know...a friend indeed who just might accommodate your very wish. Happy Hunting!!!


Keeping It Real,

Aunt B

Take Responsibility

Dear Aunt B,

ok well im in a relations ship right now ive been datin him for about a year and half but been together together for 2months this happened bout a month a go but anywho when we first started talking i didnt take it as serious as i do now bc at first he wasnt really acting like he wanted to be serious and now u can just tell and i made a huge mistake and slept with an x and the condom broke and now idk what to do bc im late and im just prayin i get ma period but how do i tell ma bf in fact i am that it may not be his ?? or should i tell him at all the other guy and i talked and he said he would pay for an abortion but i just dont believe in that but i dont wanna loose ma bf i love him so much and made a terrible mistake HELP!!!


Dear Reader,

Okay, so let me see if I got this right: You are with guy #1. You and he weren’t “serious” up until a few months ago. And in that time you had sex with guy #2, the condom broke and you might be pregnant, and now you don’t know what to do.


First off, do you know for sure you’re pregnant? Did you take a test? See a doctor? You need to find out, and right away. Now, I am not an advocate for abortion in this situation at all, but if you want options you have to know rather quickly what you are doing. Personally, you said you don’t believe in abortion, so I would tell you o take that right off the list of options. If you had an abortion under duress, you will regret it and you will be mentally fucked. Guaranteed. You need to be responsible, stop worrying about the guys and what will/might happen and do what you need to do for your body, and your baby (if you are pregnant). So, step one, get tested!

Deciding to tell your guy #1 about your cheating is up to you. But if you are pregnant, and it *might not* be his baby, he has every right to know.

Not to mention, Just imagine you keep this from him, you two get married, your baby grows into a child say 5 or 6 and falls off the monkey bars at the playground, breaks their leg pretty badly and losses blood. Your guy wants to give *his* child blood and wait, what?, the blood doesn’t match??


YA. You see how that works? And don’t for one second think something won’t happen to divulge your secret. It will. And you will walk on egg shells every day of your life trying to avoid it, and will be wrapped in a web of lies. This is no way to live, no way to raise a child, no way to LOVE. If you are pregnant, step two: come clean.


After that, who knows what will happen. But you need to take responsibility (step 3) for what has happened, and you need to stop thinking of just yourself, it isn’t just about you anymore.


So, to recap: step 1, get tested. Step 2, fess up. Step 3, take responsibility. That is my advice. I wish you the courage and strength to do this, and to learn from your mistakes.

~Xmichra.

You Want to Do What With $58 Million???

Commentary by Aunt B

And the Headline reads...
Government to condemn land for Flight 93 memorial


PITTSBURGH — The government will begin taking land from seven property owners so that the Flight 93 memorial can be built in time for the 10th anniversary of the 2001 terrorist attacks, the National Park Service said.

Read the Rest...

Commentary by Aunt B...

We did it to the Native Americans and you'd think by now we'd have matured enough not to do it again. Now, the Government is going to take land for a memorial for Flight 93.

I imagine if I owned land and the Government was trying to hand me a song and dance, you know less than the value for my land, I'd be pissed and would stall too. Yes, I'd probably hold out, calling their bluff...but it has backfired, I do believe.

They will now take the land they want, unless I'm not catching on to the exact thinking and reasoning in this whole affair. And it's deplorable, sad and out and out outrageous.

In the first place, I will allow you to call me an asshole but I could never ever condone and sign my name to spending and I quote;

The seven property owners own about 500 acres still needed for what will ultimately be a $58 million, 2,200-acre permanent memorial and national park at the crash site near Shanksville, about 60 miles southeast of Pittsburgh.


Yea, call me an asshole, whatever but I could never spend that kind of money knowing that, in this economy when you have people living in tent cities, barely making it with that little bit of food stamps, having to send your kids to school to get the free breakfast and lunch, seniors barely able to make it and I could go on till the flippin cows came home, how in the hell can you justify spending $58 million dollars on a memorial? I have a heart but damn, it is insanity at it's finest. Please explain it to me?

I read the news every morning. At least, at the very least, once a week, I read of someone who has killed his family and then himself because he's lost his job and about to lose his home. I read of another drug bust of some young kid and...

MTV, I hold you in contempt, oh yes I do. You've lied to our youth and you've single handedly caused the down fall of thousands of young men, especially young black men.

"OMG Babz, what in the hell did you just say???"

This is my blog and I will say what I damn well please and hopefully speak the truth. And And And don't f*n tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. Let me tell you, I lived for several years in Garfield and East Liberty, right in the ghetto's of Pittsburgh. If that's not enough for you, I also lived in "Crack Hill," and "The Bottom" in Fredericksburg, Virginia, again, for years. Not enough? I lived around and scored my drugs in the ghetto's in 5 States. I have an educated opinion and have been in the trenches.

It's hard for anyone to get a job, not to mention young uneducated black men who already have one strike against them because of their color. They are brought up with the mindset that because they are black they'll have no chance in hell to make it in this world. But look at Obama, would ya please?

They spend a good portion of the day watching MTV and they see all the Brothers with their Bling, their fast cars and their faster women. And they begin to believe that it is the definition of a successful black man, a for real Gangsta. No, you ain't shit if you don't have it; It being the clothes, the shoes, the jewelry to say the least.

MTV's shows like "Cribs" are good on one hand as they show what you can have if you can achieve, usually as a Rapper. But video's set the standard. They are the catalyst, especially the ones that show life in the hood and how it's supposed to be.

So how does a young black man get all that stuff when he can't even get a job? He sells drugs, that's what. And the examples that are set are of living a "Thug Life", especially from video's where Gangsta Rap are concerned. And it's living a lie.

If you think I'm wrong, allow me to remind you that there are more black men in Prison for drug sales than just about anything else. If it's not for drug sales, it's for what I fondly call, "Crimes to Sustain."

Are you wondering what I'm talking about when I say "Crimes to Sustain"? It is a crime that is done to get what you have and I don't, what you have that I want to sell and sustain me or my lifestyle.

Go ahead, ask a black man why he's in prison and it's usually because he wanted a certain lifestyle he couldn't get any other way...or so he thought and was taught. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having a desire to dress nicely and I believe you should dress for success. But dirty deeds will never be rewarded. Crime does pay but only for a minute. Why doesn't MTV teach that?

Why don't the video's show how it looks as they make you spread your cheeks and cough? Why don't the video's show how fucked up it feels to have to stand naked in a group when they do a Shakedown in Prison? And you ain't going to get to wear your bling in there when you become just another inmate who believed the hype, the lies and alibi's.


The Answer; An Incentive to Excel

$58 million dollars is a lot of money and so much good could be done with it. In memory of those that have died, those that were heroic that day, why not set up scholarships and grants that just might give someone, specifically minorities, a whole life of help. It's like the old adage, "Give a man a fish and he eats well for a day. Teach him to fish and he eats well all of his days," or something like that?

Yes, that's a whole lotta love that could be spread, $58 million. For those that face life heroically every day living in the ghetto's all across America, why not give them incentive to excel. I don't mean little $1000 scholarships, I mean send them to school; College, Universities, Vocational, all expenses paid.

Blacks across America are doing and behaving, going to prison for and paying the price of and for a mindset of little to no choices. The funny thing is that this could be changed with this incentive to excel. But it must start at home, in school and when the child is young. He's got to have a plausible dream, an attainable goal.

If a parent knows that they have a golden carrot, an opportunity afforded their children, they just might teach them that they have a chance. Right now misery and pain, seem to be passed down generation to generation. It's predisposition, a precursor for disaster, over and over. This could be changed...

Knowledge is power. The implication of it all, the proposition of it in it's entirety is endless. For a parent to be able to teach and tell their children that if he/she works very hard at getting good grades and staying in school, that they will have an amount of money set aside for them, specifically $58 million dollars, it will make a difference.

Do you even realize the difference this would/could make? Might you even surmise what a difference even half of that allocated money could do to really help? Let me just put it into perspective for you; Your crime rate will go down, the prison system will not be as over loaded as it is, your world as well as theirs will be a better place.

If I can see this, why can't they?