Dear Aunt Babz,
Thank you so much for your concern, I’m the one who’s sorry now for being that late in replying, but I don’t open this e-mail often.. I mean I opened it every day after I sent you but then I stopped,, and things were going fine so…
Actually It’s funny I saw this now because I just saw him five minutes ago!
You see, all this time I was struggling with myself trying to forget him without a real progress until only recently, I found my way out! It was my motherhood, I used it as a shelter, you know like I defied myself as my children’s mother, I’m there’s and only there’s! And right away I started to get my life back and go through a whole day without thinking of him, his image started to leave my head and I started to gain peace again.
But then he showed up today, wanted to get something from me that he forgot before he left work, and once he looked at me with those sad eyes I don’t know what happened!!
Why exactly did he come?! And why did he look at me this way?! What is he trying to do or to approve?! That I can’t get over him?!
You know what? We actually talked several days ago but I was perfect, I told him that he’s like a son to me and that I wish him all the best, he seemed so disappointed but still I was so proud of myself because I really felt this way, I was so strong and didn’t feel any thing, I saw everything clearly, actually I could have been his mother you know? I mean 12 whole years?! What was I thinking? What was HE thinking?!?!
But today, I don’t know, maybe I’m just fragile because I’m having my period today? Just hormonal thing?! But what if it’s not?! It took me so long to get rid of this spell, I don’t want to get through all that again.
Please tell me what you think of all this,, please tell me something, help me not to fall again in the same well!
Dear Lady Morning,
It sounds to me that you were missing your husband, and this fellow reminded you of when your husband was so in love with you. It sounds as though you really just wanted your husbands love back, and realized it when you went to him telling him that he was losing you, from his actions, and you didn’t want that.
Honestly, I think you did a great thing, talking to your husband and telling him your fears and needs, and you did it before it was too late. you recognized the problem was missing your husband, and you did it before you did something you couldn’t erase (like cheating).
I don’t think he is trying to bait you. I think he’s wondering what happened. Infatuations are difficult to get over, and this guy probably is wondering what he did wrong, to turn you away. He probably doesn’t understand that you were “seeing” your husband in him, and not really him... and that will likely hurt him for awhile. Hopefully the situation turns him away from lusting after married women in the future, this is a tough lesson to learn. But I think he will see what happened when he gets a little older/mature/experience to understand.
We are all human, and we are fallible. But in the face of adversity, you persevered and you did the right thing. At least I think so.
I hope you and your husband maintain your communication and can regain that love which bonded you in the first place.