Dear Aunt B,
I am 28 with 2 young girls, a 2 and 3 year old! I married my high school sweet heart when I was 20. We seperated in August because we were both living seperate lives and had cheated on eachother... UGH! I met a wonderful man since then that is great with my girls and is awesome to me. We are engaged to be married in September!!! The dress is bought, the flowers, the reception hall... everything! But my divorce isn't supposed to be final until June. The problem is... my ex wants me back really bad and exclames that he is a changed person... and he wants to raise our girls together... The "new guy" does have some habits and lifestyles that I find quite repulsive... but nothing I can't get over... he is a great guy...
I would really love to raise my girls with their daddy that I really do still love and have feelings for but don't know if I can risk being hurt again and losing a wonderful guy like the "new guy"
Okay. You definitely need to break up with your current guy, because you are *clearly* in love with your ex, and it is not fair for you to do this to him, to yourself or to your kids.
I know that you are scared of making a poor choice... but the worst thing you could do is get married when you do not love someone. Add to that your love of another and you are walking into disaster.
You need to be on your own for awhile to figure out where your heart is. “The new guy”, if he is as great as you make him sound, deserves to be loved wholly, not because he appears to be a better choice. And YOU deserve the same!
I honestly don’t know what else to say here. If you ignore this, I am positive things will get really bad, really quick, and there will be a lot of hurt people.
I wish you the courage to follow your heart.
I have to warn you; I shoot from the hip and I will tell you what and how I feel, OK?
Somehow I have the distinct feeling that you are in such need and willing to "play house" that you stand to lose all in the end. Now mind you, this is not abnormal especially when women have been programmed for all eternity to marry and be the good lil wifey, etc. etc. and as I mentioned before, "play house."
My concern is that you are jumping from the frying pan into the fire by over looking and I quote, "repulsive" behavior. That's a pretty harsh word to over look much less the behavior that might accompany it. And I am simply stating the obvious.
My advice to you is to slow down for just a hot minute. I don't care if you have bought the dress, paid for this and that, so on and so forth, a fine example of why you should never put a price on happiness.
I'd truly like you to re-evaluate your stance in all this and really ask yourself, one important question; For real, who are you truly in love with or are you settling for something, someone, anything, anyone? What is your hurry, that is the next question?
Keeping It Real,