Wildflower

Dear Aunt Babz,

There's a really cute older male co-worker I've talked to online outside work. We had flirted and everything and even talked about having sex together. I backed out of having sex because I got scared (I'm still a virgin, he isn't). He understood when I told him I changed my mind. Anyway, I want to ask him to a movie with me, but am afraid he'll say no. I think about him A LOT and really want to hang out with him. Thanks in advance.

Dear Friend,

You'll never know, unless you ask, right? In cases such as these, you must try not to over analyze. It is however, a good thing to put things into perspective. What I'm referring to, "Putting things into perspective" can always be used, in everything you do, every situation, where the outcome is uncertain and you have anxiety, as to how things will unfold.

OK, this is what you do; You ask yourself, what is the worst thing, the worst case scenario, what could, would or can happen? You'll possibly say that he'll say no, to your invitation? Now, you must learn to live your life, realizing that you can not make someone have matching emotions. You must always anticipate that a person has a different opinion, outlook on life and the possibility is there, that he does not think about you, as you do him, right? But let's look at this and put it into perspective...

If you ask him to the movie and he says no, it will not kill you, now will it? There is the possibility that your feelings may be hurt. Then, the next thing you'll probably do is tell yourself that there's something wrong with you and this is why he has said no.

Look in the mirror and see you, who you really are and be honest with yourself. If you are honest with yourself, you'll see a cute young woman with strong beliefs, a woman with backbone and no, you are not beautiful. I'm sorry if you thought you were. But you are not. (By the way, neither am I!)What you are is a very attractive, sporty looking sprite, who's fun, has a genuine laugh, is loyal and when you love, you love very deeply. You are quiet until you get to know someone and are a bit on the shy side. You don't have a lot of friends because you quite honestly don't care for all the gossip, competition and games girlfriends tend to play. No, you are too serious for this drivel. Yet you do have a quirky sense of humor. You are the real deal and although you don't care much for the "Dress Up" game, you do shine and clean up well. There's a side of you that thinks you are not attractive and it can and has hindered you. But the facts are, that you are attractive. You do not belong to the Popular Club, in school or at work and never really did. This is/was not because people dislike you. No, people do like you, when they get to know you but until then, they are indifferent. Why is this? It is because you are not a loud mouth, boisterous bimbo. You are, in all actuality, the kind of woman, a guy sees as "Marrying Material."

Yes, there are the "Trophy Chicks", the "In Betweens" and the "Marrying Material." See the beautiful bimbo is sought, when a man is young, dumb and you know the rest. He wants to be seen with this gorgeous girl but rarely does he take her home to meet Mom. Those girls that are within the popular circle but in between, tend to marry and divorce, very quickly. But it is the girl, every guy really wants that has backbone, isn't a sex hound, hasn't been with all his friends, has values and morals, isn't a loud mouth and he actually respects enough and is not ashamed of, that he'll take home to Mom. You are that girl.

Now, in the eventuality that this fella tells you no, you will not take it personally. You will look in the mirror and see that you are a rare breed, a treasure for Mr.Right. He just wasn't Mr.Right.

Don't worry Dear, you will not grow old by yourself, surrounded by cats. Be yourself, be real and don't change a thing. A certain fella, is gonna see you and he will cherish you, like he would a... Wildflower found in the snow.

Happy Holidays,

Aunt Babz