Re-Post; Something To Think About

Every now and again, I like to post this just to make you think. Even though I wrote it, it still makes me remember, think and pray...

My Granddaughter…Aries

I wrote this, not long after my release from Prison. I had laid there, alone, one night, unable to sleep. I began to think about all I had seen and heard, some of the stories.As part of a therapeutic community, a rehab within the prison, we had delved into a lot of issues, most brought on by addiction. Some were honest and frank, matter of fact. Some showed no remorse but often times, the women did not understand how they could do the things they had done. They had killed, starved, sold, cut, maimed, abused, neglected, molested and raped their children. I’d spoke with women, outside of a treatment setting and many of these women knew not, why they did what they did.

But who suffered the most, when the Mother was taken to prison? The children and they paid the price for it all. They had already been neglected and hurt and now they would be passed around like a garage sale rag doll. Pray for the children, will you?

“Bless This Child”

Bless this child who’s beaten daily, much more than he can take.
Bless this child who cries at night, his hunger still awake.
Bless this child who’s born of drugs, no habit of his own,
Bless this child who screams in silence he bears his pain alone.
Bless this child not wanted still, a lonely path to lead,
Bless this child so young, too young, molested, made to bleed.
Bless this child born of pain, whose mother barely cares,
Bless this child afraid of dark, it only brings nightmares.
Bless this child too frail to eat, afraid to die just yet,
Bless this child disease will claim, his dreams are never met.
Bless this child who wants to die, his life seems only lies,
Bless this child through suicide can’t say his last good-byes.
Bless this child who’s father’s gone, his love poured out in vain,
Bless this child through poverty who’ll only know hate and pain.
Bless this child who’s shook in anger, now knocks at heaven’s gate,
Bless this child you’ll never know, her story told too late.
Bless this child who’s sent to you, a present from above,
Bless this child you call your own, make sure you show them love.

Always Keeping It Real,

Aunt Babz
"Even the most brilliant minds can have troubled souls."

Meet Mrs.Know Itall; How To Screw Up Your Life

Dear Aunt Babz,

Has your mom ever annoyed you soooo much you want to runaway?





Dear Reader,

To answer your question; she sure did and I did run away!

My Dad was/is a Lt.Colonel but it was my Mom who was the Drill Sergeant. She was a taskmaster and I thought she was just being mean. She made me keep my room immaculate and I had to do dishes and clean the house, do laundry and on and on. I can remember thinking, "I'm not the maid here. Slave labor was abolished." I realize now, that she was teaching me life skills, a good work ethic and strong, sturdy personal habits. If I had only seen this, things may have been different.

I was always in trouble and spent most of my childhood, mainly my teen years on restriction; no phone, no going out. I had to stay in the house. I'm not talking a day or two, I'm talking weeks, months of restriction to the house.

We have a wonderful relationship now but back then it was real bad.I hated my Mom and I believed she hated me. She was so hard on me and when I messed up, I was then restricted. I was convinced she truly could not stand me. I was always getting in trouble, always doing something stupid and I had criminal behaviors, even then. I gave my Mom, a run for her money. I was real good at being bad and did not pay attention in school. Who the heck needs to learn about how to spell or fractions and junk. I wanted them to stop wasting my time because I knew it all.

I stole her Cadillac at the tender age of 14, in an attempt at running away. I was headed to Ocean City, Md., I lived in Virginia. I went across state lines and was caught, in Maryland. I was then fingerprinted and charged by the F.B.I. with Interstate Transportation.
That was not the last time I ran away. The very last time, Miss Know It All, was 16. I ended up getting pregnant. Running away from home, changed my life forever. There was never, any turning back and I had made those choices, me and me alone.

Looking In The Mirror

I wanted to be all grown up. What I didn't realize was, along with being all grown up, came responsibilities. I can look back now and laugh about how ridiculous I was. I am able to see now, just how badly I blew things out of proportion, just how badly I blew up my life. I didn't want to be told what to do because I thought I, she's just being mean. I didn't realize she was teaching me but you couldn't tell me that. I had no real understanding of what being an adult, really entailed. I thought I could take care of myself, after all, how hard could it really be? I immediately found that I couldn't even get a job without my parents signature on the work permission slip. Even if I had not needed a permission to work slip, do you really think I could have found a job, at 14 or even 16, that would have paid me enough to live on my own? I had no real skills but I knew it all. Nobody hires "Know It Alls," simply because they say so, huh? So, what's a girl to do in a big mean world of big mean people just waiting to take advantage of you?
I thought I was in love. This guy was taking care of me. He had me living with him and he bought my food and so on. Did I practice safe sex? Nope and I never thought "I" would get pregnant. Now, how stupid is that? Girls have been getting pregnant since the dawn of time. It's a fact, the simple rule of the birds and the bees. I was immature enough to think I was all grown up and knew it all. Yet, I couldn't even understand the very concept of how, when you have sex, you get pregnant. It's as elementary as it gets but why didn't I believe it could or would happen to me? When you get pregnant it changes your life and oh yes Lord, you will have to grow up. But not before you learn it all the hard way. Your childhood is ripped out of your hands and you get what you want; you are all grown up. All the crying in the world won't change a damn thing either. You can cry because you can't go out anymore because you now have to stay home with a baby. You can cry because you just flushed your chances of going to college down the crapper, much less graduating high school with the rest of your class. You can cry because your baby won't stop crying, even though it's been fed, changed, cuddled and it's still crying and it's the middle of the night. What do you do...call Mommy?
So, you do the right thing, you get married to a guy you later realize you never loved, not in the sense of the Prince Charming you dreamed about. You fight all the time because you really didn't know each other in the first place and you are not really compatible but you stay with him because now, you are pregnant again. Who's going to give a job to some young girl with a kid and one on the way. You don't even have your High School diploma because you were pregnant and didn't graduate. Why won't they hire you, you know it all? So, you cook and clean and try to be the good little wife and here comes baby #3 and you are happy but you hate your life and you stand there, in front of the mirror and watch in horror as your body gets stretched and distorted. Your pretty breasts are no longer youthful, you are covered in stretch marks and the circles under your eyes betray you.
Mrs. Know It All didn't sleep again last night. The oldest child is sick with a fever and threw up all over his bedding and it's the only set of Sesame Street sheets you own for him. So, you put him in your bed, put his sheets in the wash and then he throws up all over your sheets and child #2 just woke up because child #1 is crying because he's sick. You're not feeling so good yourself and you just want to cry. Next thing you know, you have two in diapers, you have this pouch that hangs at your stomach and you are standing in front of the mirror and you question, how the hell it all happened. You have stretch marks on your breasts and they just don't stand up like they used to. You don't have time to even contemplate it too much cause now baby #3 is crying and needs fed. You go to pick him up and he's pooped up the back of his chair and you'll have to clean that before you can put him back down but don't trip over all the toys on the floor. Those damn Lego's are the most painful, especially in the middle of the night, when you least expect it. You are so tired after cleaning up, chasing kids, doing laundry, cooking dinner, feeding the kids and you climb into bed, at the end of the night exhausted. The hubby wants to be frisky cause that's what they do. So, you lay there, tired and feeling half dead and let a man who you really don't love, make love to you. You just hope he'll hurry so you can get some sleep.

So, you stand in front of the mirror again, years later and you ask yourself, "What the hell happened?"
Now, you get them all into school and you keep thinking how you want to get out of the house, maybe get a part-time job. They ask you, "Well, Mrs. Know It All, what skills do you possess, besides knowing it all, that will cause me to hire you?"
Nothing is more humbling than when you realize, that even at McDonald's you have to be trained and that may be the only job I might be given the chance to shine?
Years go by, you feel empty inside. You are tired of your life and you want a change. You leave your husband, take his children and start out on your own. You find yourself in the same stupid mess, needing help. You meet another loser and tell yourself you are in love. He's abusive but you feel stuck. He cripples you with his abuse and you cry in silence. He drinks and you start just to get on the same page and tolerate him. You try drugs to shut out the noise and they work, so you think. You keep slipping further and further into the lies, just so you don't have to feel the mess you've created by your choices. Now, you're addicted and those children you love so much become last on your list of important things to take care of. You never stopped loving them but you had more important things to do. You have an addiction to feed, an angry addiction.
You look in the mirror and you see a woman, old before her time. Mrs. Know It All, has track marks on her arms and hates herself so badly that she no longer wants to live. But who wants to waste good heroin on killing yourself? It's when you don't have it and you are so sick, that you want to die. You look at yourself, a shell of a person, a waste of skin, waste of life. And you wonder what happened?

Mrs. Know It All then became a number OF6708. She couldn't look in the mirror from her Prison cell. She might kill herself with the glass. She was so glad she couldn't see herself but could only imagine just how pathetic she looked. She sure didn't know it all now. She sure wished she could turn back the hands of time but there's no such thing. There were no tears left for her to cry as they humbled her with their strip searches and indignities.
What she became aware of, what she did learn was that she had choices all along, from the very beginning. It took a lifetime to learn. It almost took her life.

Choices

You have choices in every single minute of every day. Your story is different but I think you just need some coping skills. If your Mom tells you to do something and you question it, you need to look at why she may be asking you to do that something. You need to talk to her. If the lines of communication are down in your house, build new ones. If you think something is unfair, ask her why she is asking you to do whatever it is, she's asking. Ask without an attitude and you just might not be met, with an attitude. Remember that your Mom is human, she's only a woman trying to be your Mom, that ain't easy. Ask yourself what is she trying to teach you instead of thinking she's being mean. Write her a letter and explain how you feel and ask her to explain. Never forget what it would like without your Mom, you'll never have another and you'll never find the same love a mother has, for her daughter. If things are strained, don't run, try to work it out. What choices do you have, to make things better? Make the right choice, please?

Yes, Mrs. Know It All was me. My name now, is... Mz.Babs Humbled.

Keeping It Really Real,

Aunt Babz

Re-Post; Little Steps/Locked Away

Monday, January 5, 2009

Dear Aunt Babz,

I am 20 years old and obese, and have lived with my grandmother all of my life. Ever since I graduated from high school at 17, my grandmother has tightened down on me... I got a "job" with her older gentleman friend, taking care of him. $40 a week is all I get... and my grandmother gets all but $15 of that. I am not "allowed" to get another job, and even though I've tried many, many times to get a job without her consent, no one will hire me around here. I'm not allowed to go anywhere, talk to anyone on the phone, or anything else other people my age find "fun". I've been living like this for three and a half years.

I've been sent to what people around here call a "crazy house" (mental rehab facility) several times because of false reports on her part ("He was trying to kill himself", "He threatened to stab himself") and I am always blamed when something goes missing, and was even yelled at when my cousin who I loved very much and was great friends with had a heart attack because it "was my fault for treating her like I did".

Three years ago I met the most wonderful person in my life via the internet and have established a strong, strictly monogamous (and possessive), loving relationship. We've promised to be married as soon as I get away from here. She can't do anything for me either because of her situation (he parents are much like my grandmother; we are both of age but still under the strict rule of a matriarch). I am not second-guessing our relationship, how much I love her, or the fact that I want to go to her.

I want out. I've gotten a friend of mine to help me GET to her in another state... But I have no way of getting money or a place to stay when I do. I honestly have no hope of saving money for that purpose either. I can't stay with her because of her parents. I can't afford a place of my own. Should I go homeless until I can get a job? Apply for welfare? I don't know what to do. But I'm not staying here.


Dear Locked Away,

I have no idea how you are doing what you are doing... wow. Incredible strength to live a life like yours, I just can’t fathom and completely understand wanting out.
I do want to suggest that you talk with your grandmother about what you want to do though, and tell her that you are going regardless of what or how she feels so she has the choice to either help you and support your decision or to shun you, which would be horrible for you. Explain that she has indeed raised you well, and you appreciate the life she has sustained for you and her, and you love her. But you need to stretch out and explore life, you need to live your own life, and you want her to be a part of it. But you need to do this, with or without her.

Reason I say to do this, there are two. One, is she will be worried sick if you up and leave and she has no idea what happened. Something could happen to her, which you would never forgive yourself for. Two, you owe it to yourself to stand up and take control of your life and not just run away. This is going to be the defining moment in your life, where you will look back and say “I did it, and this is my life”. You will want that moment, believe me.

I do not recommend being homeless, that’s for sure. So you need to be a little bit more proactive. Being homeless isn’t just not having a place to stay. It’s no food, no shelter, no where to keep clean (which drastically diminishes your chance at finding and keeping a job). It’s not a good route to go. And she is in the same predicament, so I don’t see her moving out of her house to live on the streets as well. Thus destroying any hope of happiness you two so want.

First things first, you have access to the internet, so use it! You can apply for jobs (there are plenty of minimum wage jobs out there to give you some experience and money, and you may need to work two jobs for the time being to get your footing) on-line, and you can look for a place to stay (like a half way house or boarding house that you can pay for daily instead of monthly like most apartments). Look around the area via on-line and see what you can do and how to survive before you do anything rash.
Get your girlfriend involved with your search, make a plan and be smart about the choices you make. You will have a great life, if you are not afraid to take the steps, and are wise enough to stay clear of the wrong ones.

Good Luck,

~Xmichra

Dear Locked Away,

I have a strict rule within our little society, to never read an answer given by another staff member before I post it, simply because I do not want to be biased or swayed from or in my answer. This allows me as well, to look towards my own resources for my very own opinion. But damn if I wasn't tempted to look at Xmichra's answer to you. I'm almost at a loss for your answer. I will pray for guidance and wisdom in my words to you.

You are definitely in a very precarious position, one which seems to have no out. But one thing I have learned as I look back on my life; Even in my darkest hour, at the worst possible moment and situations, I can see there were always, always choices. You just must look for them. As well, sometimes it takes pure unadulterated resilience to make a change.

You must take little steps to this change, make it one day, one moment at a time. The first step is to a healthier you. You say you are obese, well, a good portion of America is obese and part of that is because we have lost touch with what it is to eat right. Once we begin to eat wrong, eating the wrong things become a "Craving." You will crave the saturated fats, you will crave the refined sugar, Debbie Cakes, Twinkies and the lot. Yes, your body craves the poison you put into it. Once you become aware that this is happening and make a conscience effort to change it...believe it or not...it will begin to change.

Most people fall when they diet because they don't know how to properly diet. You seem reasonably intelligent so I urge you to do your homework, study yourself; Why do you eat? What do you eat? How are you eating?

I don't claim to be a diet guru and I sure as hell don't know all the answers. In fact, I don't always practice what I preach. I am 5'3 and 135lbs. That means I am not obese but I have been. In order for me to lose any weight myself, I had to take notice of a few things. It's just a few simple observations that changed some things for me. One of those observations was that if we listen to our bodies, instead of our bad habits, deeply ingrained, thing begin to change.

In example; I noticed that those children that were of normal height and weight, my own children, in fact, do not eat if they are not hungry. Their bodies, their own metabolism tells them, "Hey, slow it down there Mister." You can put their absolute favorite food in front of them; pizza hot dogs, chips, cake, whatever and if they are not hungry, they will not eat it...until they learn bad habits.

So, ask yourself; "Have I ever eaten just for the sake of eating, even when I wasn't hungry?"The start of even a tad bit of self control will begin your journey in this change. You start with every time you eat, do not eat the last bite. I'm telling you, if you can do this you will begin those little steps to a new you. Next step you leave two bites and so on.

Another way to this self control is to use a smaller plate and only eat what you put on that plate, leaving that last bite and so on. As well, to begin a diet and this self control thing I'm talking about, in your diet, you may have that slice of pizza, ya just can't eat the whole damn thing. Go ahead and have some ice cream that you might crave, just don't eat the whole box and only have one scoop. Yes, I'm giving you permission to eat some of those things so you don't argue with yourself. It's just all got to be in moderation.

I'm telling you that you can do this. I believe in you. Whatever Grandma is feeding you, eat it in moderation. See, Grandma comes from the old school, where food is comfort and a good women feeds her men. I know because that premise is deeply ingrained in me. When my sons come around, the very first thing I do, even unconsciously, is offer them something to eat. It's what we do. That's Grandma's way of saying I love you. But she's loved you so much, it shows, huh? Think about that, ok?

Little Steps

"Most of us want what we want when we want it and dammit we want it right now."

Yes, I know you want out of this/your situation right this very minute. You may even be a bit peeved because we haven't answered you until now. I do apologize for this as we are running behind, it is my fault. But you've come to this juncture, not over night and the journey out will and must begin will your own mindset.

I'd like you to begin to look into the resources which may be available to you. I've read your letter several times and what really reaches out to me is the part where you said;

"I've been sent to what people around here call a "crazy house" (mental rehab facility) several times because of false reports on her part ("He was trying to kill himself", "He threatened to stab himself") and I am always blamed when something goes missing, and was even yelled at when my cousin who I loved very much and was great friends with had a heart attack because it "was my fault for treating her like I did"."

This situation, whether you realize it or not, may be used to your advantage. See, any time you are admitted or evaluated for Mental Health, you are given, either a Case Manager and/or a Therapist, Psychoanalyst, Psychiatrist, etc., etc. Now, find out who they are and begin to use them and your situation to your advantage. It will be named, just for you, " Using the System" to your advantage. Sometimes if we don't fight the system and go with it, it is a productive and possibly helpful situation.

In your scenario, you've fought the system. You were sent there against your will and I'd be willing to bet you were down right pissed off because of your involvement with Mental Health. Why don't you turn this around to become a positive experience. Contact your worker or therapist and tell them exactly what is going on. Ask them for help and let them know that it is not, your situation, conducive to your mental state of mind. After you've said this, they will have pretty much do what they can to help you or at least steer you in the right direction. To start; simply ask if there are any resources available.

If you can not do this and you insist on breaking the chain and must move right away, find out where the shelters are in the area you want to go to. Now, this may not be the most pleasant of situations, most shelters are not the best environment. The reason for going though is that when someone goes to a shelter, they open up a "case" for you. They will then try to help you relocate. There will be available resources for you in this situation, I do believe. Walking into welfare and asking for help, especially in a new state will not get you too far right away and I do believe you might get more help by going to the shelter.

If all this does not work, I most assuredly welcome you to write us again, state the existing problem and what you have done and we'll take it from there.

I wish you only the very best...


Keeping It Real,


Aunt Babz





From Real Food For Real People

~The Cabbage Soup Diet~

The ABC's of a Negative Foods Diet
Many years ago, my Dad shared a book with me by the Monk, who invented this diet. The man had been an overweight Scientist, before becoming a monk. In his research, he pooled all his knowledge about Metabolism, Calories and Negative Calories.

He came up with the
"Cabbage Soup Diet". He warned the reader, that you would certainly lose weight in the first week but you could not continue to eat this soup, by itself. He had become malnourished, himself. He made it clear, that after the first week, you must eat a sensible diet and suggested, eating the soup before your lunch and dinner.

My Dad, Mom, Husband and I, all lost weight on this soup diet. But why?
This soup ingredients has a consistent negative calorie content. What is a negative calorie?

Definition of Negative calorie diet

Negative calorie diet: The Negative calorie diet is a weight loss concept based upon the premise that consumption of foods with a “negative caloric effect” (meaning that the calories burned by chewing, digesting, and eliminating the food are greater than those contained in the food itself) will lead to rapid weight loss of up to two pounds per day.

Negative calorie diet works from the starting point that body has to burn energy to digest food. If more calories are consumed burning the food than that is contained in the food, you get a negative calorie effect.

Here's a list of negative foods;

Negative calorie list for vegetables

Asparagus	Fennel *
Aubergine *	Gourd *
Broccoli	Leek
Cabbage *	Lettuce *
Carrots	Marrow *
Cauliflower	Peppers
Celery *	Radish *
Chicory *	Spinach
Cress *	Tomato *
Cucumber *	Turnip

Negative Fruits

Apricot	Mandarin orange
Blackberry *	Melon Canteloupe *
Blackcurrant	Peaches
Clementines	Plums
Damsons	Raspberry *
Grapefruit	Rhubarb **
Guava *	Strawberry
Honeydew Melon	Tangerine
Lemon *	Watermelon

My Recipe

1 lg head Cabbage

2 lg cans Tomatoes

1 stalk Celery

3 lg Onions

1 bunch Carrots

2 lg Green Peppers

1 lg Red Pepper

3+ cloves Garlic chipped

*4 Chicken or Beef Boullion Cubes


In a large pot, fill up half way with water and boullion cubes. Bring to boil. Cut, chip, slice your veggies and bring to a boil. Begin to simmer until tender. Add salt and pepper or whatever spices you might enjoy. I like cracked pepper in mine. I also like a few *optional things to jazz it up such as *1 lg can white boneless breast and *Mushrooms or Spinach.




The Cabbage Soup is an all-you-can-eat-cabbage-soup diet which claims that the more cabbage soup you eat, the more weight you’ll lose. The diet’s so-called fat burning soup contains negligible calories so you don’t have to worry about gaining weight. The Cabbage Soup Diet states that by adhering to the Cabbage Soup Diet for 7 days will result in immediate weight loss.

How Does the Cabbage Soup Diet work?

On the Cabbage Soup Diet, individuals are encouraged to eat as much Cabbage soup and consume as much water as they want. Other foods are involved as well but their intake is severely restricted. The cabbage soup can be eaten as many times but it is not recommended that you eat soup only as it can result in malnourishment. Drinking 7-8 glasses of water a day is also recommended. The Cabbage Soup Diet’s 7-Day plan is easy to follow, however dieters are asked to consult their doctor before following this 7-day meal plan:
~~~


If you have a special occasion coming up, or you simply need to lose weight fast, the Cabbage Soup Diet may be just what you're looking for.

Although not suitable for long-term weight loss, the Cabbage Soup Diet is a low-fat, high-fiber diet that will help you get into shape fast before you embark on a more moderate long-term eating plan.

Pros and Cons of the Cabbage Soup Diet

Pros: You'll lose weight fast, and can get as much of the foods listed in the program as you want. Although the diet is only for seven days (and shouldn't be adhered to for longer), it provides a great "kick-start" for a more moderate diet.

Cons: Some people find the soup bland. Some people have reported feeling light-headed, weak, and have suffered from decreased concentration (although some who have been affected in this way felt it was well worth it, since it was only for a week and they had lost considerable weight).

Personal Note: If you're SERIOUS about losing weight, I would URGE you to check out a brand new concept I just found out about :

Fat Loss 4 Idiots

This diet actually works BETTER than the cabbage soup diet, and it allows you to lose 9 lbs every 11 days ... while eating many of your favorite foods.

Sound impossible? I thought so too, until I tried the amazing new method known a "Calorie Shifting", which actually "tricks" your body into burning fat.

Believe me when I say this will blow you away! Click here for more info ...

What the Cabbage Soup Diet is NOT

The cabbage soup diet is sometimes referred to as the "Mayo Clinic Diet", and the "Sacred Heart Hospital Diet". Interestingly, this diet has nothing to do with either the Mayo Clinic, nor any Sacred Heart Hospital we know about.

The Problem With Most "Mainstream" Diets

Most diets - especially "mainstream" diets, and those recommended by major medical institutions - work slowly but surely, resulting in around 1 pound of weight loss per week.

This "slow and steady" way to lose weight is certainly healthy, but suffers from one significant drawback : most people get discouraged and quit whatever diet they are on if they don't see results quickly.
~~~

Seven Keys to Success

1. Follow the diet religiously.
2. Drink at least 4 glasses of water per day
3. Keep in mind that it's only seven days
4. Complement the diet with a good multivitamin tablet
5. Print the information on this site so you can refer to it daily
6. Eat plenty of soup - as much as you want! Do not try to starve yourself or you'll probably cheat and break the diet
7. Try different spices to liven up the soup and add variety
~~~
Here's other versions, I found online;

The Cabbage Soup Diet
Also called "The Dolly Parton diet," for reasons that are shrouded in mystery, this 7-day diet really does work--in the short term, anyway. And there's a great purity to it--especially in the summertime when it's wonderfully refreshing served ice cold. Ingredient proportions can be varied according to your likes and dislikes. If you're interested in recent studies on the efficacy of soup in diets, click HERE And please read to the end of the recipe where you'll find testimony and great ideas regarding the diet from soupsong readers.

Okay, are you ready? Here we go:

* 1 head cabbage, shredded or chopped
* 2 large onions, chopped
* 16-28 ounces canned tomatoes, chopped
* 2 green peppers
* 4 stalks celery
* 1-2 packages Lipton onion soup mix, or any dry onion soup mix (optional)
* black pepper
* any fresh herb(s) of your choice, chopped
* 6 carrots, sliced
* 1/2 pound green beans, sliced on diagonal
* 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar (optional)

Put all vegetables in a big pot and cover with water. Bring to a boil, stir in the soup mix (if desired), and boil gently for 10 minutes. Cover, reduce heat, and simmer until all the vegetables are soft. Stir in the black pepper and chopped herbs (saving some for garnish).

Eat as much of the soup as you like, as often as you like. Drink as much water as you like and non-caloric drinks including coffee, tea, and herbal teas.

Here's what else you can eat, and when:

DAY 1: All fruits except bananas.

DAY 2: All vegetables, raw or cooked. This includes baked potato with a LITTLE butter.

DAY 3: Fruits and vegetables, but no potatoes or bananas.

DAY 4: Bananas and skim milk--eat as many as 8 bananas and drink as many as 8 glasses of skim milk.

DAY 5: Beef, skinless chicken, and/or fish--as much as 20 ounces, total. You can also eat 6 tomatoes. And you must drink 8 glasses of water. Don't forget at least one bowl of soup.

DAY 6: Beef, skinless chicken, or fish and vegetables. Drink 8 glasses of water and eat at least one bowl of soup.

DAY 7: Brown rice, vegetables, and unsweetened fruit juice.

~~~~~~~

Cabbage Soup Recipe

* 6 large green onions
* 2 green peppers
* 1 or 2 cans of tomatoes (diced or whole)
* 3 Carrots
* 1 Container (10 oz. or so) Mushrooms
* 1 bunch of celery
* half a head of cabbage
* 1 package Lipton soup mix
* 1 or 2 cubes of bouillon (optional)
* 1 48oz can V8 juice (optional)
* Season to taste with salt, pepper, parsley, curry, garlic powder, etc.

Directions:

Slice green onions, put in a pot and start to saute with cooking spray.

Cut green pepper stem end off and cut in half, take the seeds and membrane out. Cut the green-pepper into bite size pieces and add to pot.

Take the outer leafs layers off the cabbage, cut into bite size pieces, add to pot.

Clean carrots, cut into bite size pieces, and add to pot.

Slice mushrooms into thick slices, add to pot.

If you would like a spicy soup, add a small amount of curry or cayenne pepper now.

You can use beef or chicken bouillon cubes for seasonings. These have all the salt and flavors you will need.

Use about 12 cups of water (or 8 cups and the V8 juice), cover and put heat on low. Let soup cook for a long time - two hours works well. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Written by Staff & Ask Aunt B at 1:13 PM

Re-Visiting; "Remember; You're Doing Nothing Wrong..."

Editor's Notation; I received the following comment via email about a post from Wednesday, January 23, 2008. The question was answered by our Chief Resident Society Member, "Xmichra" as well as MPJ, our guest adviser from
A Room of Mama's Own

The post generated many comments and the buzz is still going, evidently, since we have in the past and are still receiving comments, etc. Certainly controversial, we'd love to know how you feel about it. We will publish your comment as well. Write to askauntb@gmail.com

Date: 2/5/2009 1:10:19 PM

To: mzbabz@comcast.net

Subject: [~Free Advice; Ask Aunt B~] New comment on Remember; You're Doing Nothing Wrong.....

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Remember; You're Doing Nothing Wrong...":


I'd like to clarify that I do not believe that porn is "evil" or "wrong." I am open to watching it with him, it just makes me feel like sh*t when he does it behind my back and lies about it if I catch him. I'm not TRYING to catch my husband masturbating to porn, believe me; it just causes World War III and I'm sick of trying to validate my feelings to him on the subject. What bothers me the most is that our sex life has been slacking in quantity and quality for over a year now, and any time I try to initiate something different, new positions, etc. I get shot down...and the things that I've been wanting to do since we got married are things that he watches online but STILL has never done with me. Yes, I am jealous of the porn itself because he would rather watch strangers do these things than do them with me. My body has not changed, I look exactly the same as I did the day we met. He is not like other guys I dated before, that's why I married him... but at the same time, there is no possible way to win an argument with him because he deals with EVERYTHING with ultimatums. It's his way or no way, and I'm almost ready to give up.



Posted by Anonymous to ~Free Advice; Ask Aunt B~ at February 05, 2009




Dear Depressed & Hurt Wife, I have to admit, after reading the comments again from your original post, I got a little worried about the conversation you had with your husband. There were a lot of opinions there, and a few *I* would have questioned the motive behind, had it been me being talked to. I am glad you got back to us, I can see that this is a major issue, it was a year ago you wrote into us in the first place. I think what you are feeling is completely rational, I would be jealous as well (and I *do* look different from when we first met!). But there are a few things I would ask... What you are doing (initiating) isn’t a bad thing at all, and wanting to have sex isn’t bad either. Maybe your husband has a lower sex drive than you (hard to imagine with the watching of porn, but some people watch porn and masturbate in the hopes of becoming better in bed, and excited more for their partner.). I am not sure. And I am no expert. I want to also say, that there are things in fantasy world that we, in our normal regular lives, fantasize about but do not want to do. Sounds crazy right? What is the point of fantasy if there is no chance for realism? The point (for some) is to find their boundaries, and their comfort zones. Maybe some of the things he is watching he wants to see, and maybe one day do, but isn’t comfortable yet to do it. You said you can’t win an argument with him... have you been able to talk to him without an argument taking place? Sex is very personal, we all know this. But for some people there are a lot of other issues and taboos that go with having sex that they become really defensive and argumentative. So if you haven’t been able to have an open dialogue conversation without arguing, this is a sign that you definitely need a third party (like a relationship councilor, or sex therapist) to help mediate. I understand that you are frustrated and there may be hesitance to seek professional help, but honestly if you do not do this... I am afraid that you two will either be lonely in a resentful marriage, or divorced. This isn’t a small issue, and I hope you do get the resolve required to satisfy not only your sex life, but the feelings of hurt. If you need help finding someone in your area, please write back and we will try to help you, completely confidential. ~Xmichra.