‘My Way Or The Highway’

Dear Aunt B,

I have a great 10 year relationship with my fiance'. When we met I was 23 and
he was a divorced father of 3. I grew up with both my parents so I have always
respected and never tried to interfere with the relationship that he has with
his children. The problem arises 10 years later when his youngest child is
19 and his oldest is 23. I do not have any children..and I hoped and planned to
prepare to begin "our life" now that his children are young adults. Well.. it
seems that "this life" will never really materialize because of his constant and
consistent "obsession" with the children that are NOW adults. To this day..they
seem to come before me.. and us.. We stayed in their hometown to help raise
them..and made plans to move to Florida this year. Just today I heard him tell
his oldest daughter that when we leave he is going to send for them!! I don't think
that it is a problem that he loves and wants to stay close with his children.. but
the point is is that they are NOT my children!! and it seems as if my life will
never materialize into the dreams that I dream..because we are still living in his
past..not OUR FUTURE together!! Please help me.. Do I reconsider this
relationship??



Dear Please Help:

You are not going to like what I have to say, and I know it. But… honestly, you need to get a grip.

Being a parent doesn’t end once the kids are into early adulthood. Hell, it never ends. And the way that you are focused on having a life with no kids to interfere, well you shouldn’t have had kids. And by extension, YOU DO.

When you decided to be part of that family, this was a choice that you made, not them. And you need to realize that if you are reconsidering the relationship *now*… well, I’m thinking it was never going to work out like you had planned and hoped. You are counting on him dropping his kids, and that is clearly not going to happen. Basing your life with your future dreams… you are forgetting all about him when you say “OUR”. His life has three children, and yours does not. Both of you have to realize that and compromise, instead of making a strong-headed decision of ‘my way or the highway’.

Yes, they are legally adults. But there are a lot of young adults who are just not mature enough, or ready to be far away from their parents. Better still, there are plenty of mature, independent people who want to remain close to their parents. So trying to weed out that natural bond, quite frankly, is futile. You will drive yourself crazy trying to do that (nor should You).

I feel I have failed you, because I don’t have advice for you. I wish you good luck with trying to find your dreams in life, but in all honesty do not think you will find it if you choose to take a stand with this situation. It might clear you up to other endeavors, but as for this question… I have no advice due to the complicity in a simple question. I have an opinion, but those are a dime a dozen.

I do hope that whatever you choose, you do find some happiness.

~Xmichra

Have A Question??? Nothing Is Taboo!!!

Click Here to Ask Aunt B

Digeus Registry Cleaner 5.4.11591

Re: Computer Advice

Hey Readers,

Aunt B is basically commercial free but now and then I come across something that I must share. The Tech Writers for Digeus, Inc asked me to try the programs they offer. First allow me to mention...

Digeus Registry Cleaner 5.4.11591

Now, I don't pretend to be genius or even real tech savvy but I've been around the block when it comes to maintaining your computer. Of course I'd learned everything the hard way as I crashed my computer twice when I first started to dabble back in 2003.

Long story short, I have learned that if you do not maintain your computer, yourself, (there are no fairy's that come in and make it right)it will begin to run slower and slower until it won't do a diddly darn thing for you. You end up throwing it out the window.

What happens, is your registry becomes full of errors and unless you repair it with a good program it most certainly will run noticeably slower...painfully slow.

Before I tried the Digeus Registry Cleaner, I had tried some notable programs. On all the computers in our home we have installed, again, an expensive program which I will not mention. I was surly fooled (and feel duped actually) by that program as it never did what Digeus Registry Cleaner has done...

Check it out: I ran this program and it found (drum roll please)

941 registry errors


I'm simply mesmerized and astounded. My sons are all "I.T.'s" and they agree these programs are, and I quote, "Bangin'!"

I highly recommend Digeus Registry Cleaner along with the other useful programs they offer...

SnapIt

"Capture anything you see on your PC screen. Take a "snapshot" of anything with just a click."

System Optimizer

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Duplicate Files Finder

"Remove duplicate mp3, photos, pictures etc. and regain plenty of disk space."

Junk Files Cleaner

"Free up valuable space on your hard drive. Speed up your system performance."

Keeping It Real,

Aunt B

Have A Question??? Nothing Is Taboo!!!

Click Here to Ask Aunt B

Urge For Revenge

To: askauntb@gmail.com

Subject: My only thoughts are REVENGE.

Hey whats up??? thank you for taking your time to read my question, I really appreciate the help.
Well here goes.

Me and my girlfriend have been in a very on-off, rockey relationship for nearly 3years. No doubt we love eachother, but we're so different in personalities that the friction was always there. Well from the day I met her I told her that I had slept with 8 women.... You know how every guy lies about the number of women he's slept with so I did the same...

On the 26th of Feb she found out that I had actually not slept with the above mentioned women, and that she was my first. She got really angry and said that I had betrayed her, for lying for the past 3yrs. She cannot or doesn't want to understand that its normal amongst guys to lie about that sort of thing.

Well after two days she tells me that "she wants to be single" but without the intention of hooking up with someone else and that we should remain as friends.... and that she expects full cooperation from me........ I was like, what the hell is wrong with you?! Just because you're crazy and that your feeling changed for me doesn't mean that mine did too..... I told her that.... I said that I wont be friends, I'm not guilty of anything, I didn't do anything wrong, and that I dont have anything to be ashamed off.....

Then she, coldly cut of all communication with me.... like she didn't even know me... I told her that we need to talk, that I was nice and supportive to her for the past 3 years and that she couldn't betray me like this..... but she hasn't replied since.... I'm angry, I'm bitter and have a lot of unanswered questions....... Did she really love me?

Imagin that you love someone with all your heart for 3yrs, and all of a sudden they break-up and offer absolutely no explanation.

I'm feeling a very strong urge to get revenge, I know that wont solve anything, but do you think that will make me happy??? And what can I do to move on?

Dear Reader,

There is something more to this story for sure, because the reason for ending the relationship is just silly. Not all guys lie about their sexual past, but this to me is a ridiculous reason to break up after 3 years... this my friend, is a farce of what is really going down.

But regardless of that fact, she did break up with you. And she must have had her reasons, whatever they were. Now it’s time to figure out your end.

I can understand the urge for revenge, it seems that it is a pretty basic instinct. To hurt what has hurt you. But in the end, you will feel even worse for doing something vengeful to someone you still care for. Imagine loving someone with all your heart for three years, and they get hurt really badly. You are watching them twist and turn, and it makes them so hurt they can hardly breathe without crying. And they turn to you, because you have been there for three long years... and the hate and the scorn, and the blame all comes flooding up and is glaring right at you... the one who has caused the hurt. The look of unmistakable hatred and distain, forever in your mind. Is that what you want? You really want to do that to her and to you?

I doubt that.

Most people believe that if they hurt the other person that they will feel better themselves. And it’s just not true. Revenge can only cause more harm than good, and there are centuries of love stories and tales that portray that very truth.

Do yourself a favour, and walk away from that feeling, and concentrate your efforts on yourself and healing. You will be so much better off.

~Xmichra

Have A Question??? Nothing Is Taboo!!!

Click Here to Ask Aunt B