Fight Potion #7

Dear Aunt B,

There is this girl, Samantha, 2 grades below me and she seriously hates me. Okay so this is how it all started: I was going out with this guy named connor, and she liked him at the same time. I wasn't obsessed with connor, but idk i guess i liked him. So she was determined to break us up. So she created this ridiculous and embarassing text message about me and showed it to him when she was hanging out with him and a bunch of people at the movies. Apparently he didn't believe it because thats what he told me. Samantha is friends with my friends so i dont know what to so, like should i do something back? Should i ignore her? And apparently she wants to "fight" me. I dont fight because i dont think it solves anything i dont feel like being at war with this 12 year old. She has connections to some pretty scary people and i dont want to get involved with her. And her friend Chynna is going out with my best friend Nick. She also hates me, because she thinks i like Nick, which i dont. So there are two girls, again both younger than me that hate me and idk what they are going to do next, what should i do?




Hey There,

Oh no, she shouldn't hate you! Hate's not cool! Well, first thing, yeah, don't fight her. Kids these days, and you said she's got some scary connections, if you fight her, she's going to bring her little clique with her and they'll most likely jump in against you. And plus, she's two grade's younger than you, that's not going to look good for you no matter what. And plus, like you said, fighting doesn't really solve anything. Well, you said she's 12, and two grades younger than you. So I'm guessing she's in about 7th grade, and you're in 9th?

IF you two go to the same school right now, and I don't know that you do, but if you do, you two will likely be at different schools soon. But that's in the long run, for now, there's still quite a ways left in school. And, people forget things. And if/when it gets proven that she made up those text messages, and you say it doesn't bother you, then she comes out to be the mean person in this. Of course she'll deny it, but for one thing the pressure will be on her when people start asking her about it, and she'll get caught up in one of her lies eventually. You see what I'm saying? And meanwhile, while she's trying to explain to people why she lied, you won't have any explaining to do about anything, because you never did anything wrong in the first place (ie starting rumors about her, fighting, etc;).

That's another thing, don't start rumors about her either. That doesn't turn out well ever. And for the rumors that she started, I already said how people will forget about them. But also, as long as your good friends know the truth about you, it's not as bad if the people that believe these rumors are people you don't even know.

You're not going out with Connor anymore right? Well, you can't do anything about it, but she should really apologize, but it's not like you can force her to. And plus, if you don't even go out with him anymore, I don't get why she would want to fight you still. I know that it's frusterating that she created the rumor about you with her text message, but really there's nothing much you can do about it. You said Samantha hates you, and that's a life lesson kind of, because no matter what, not everybody's going to like you, even if it's just for the sake of not liking you.

There's really nothing you can do about her creating that text, because she already created it. If/when somebody asks you about it, you tell the truth, and that's that she made it up. It will pass over time though, I promise :). And for your friend Nick and his girl Chynna; Unfortunatly she'll bad mouth you to Nick, that's inevitable.

But a couple different things this could work out good for you. One is that since you and Nick are best friends, she'll bad mouth you enough to him that he'll get sick of her talking bad about his best friend (you) and dump her, especially if you don't constantly talk bad about her. And two is, well, he's your best friend, so he shouldn't ever turn on you and leave with her. As long as you and Nick know there's nothing between you two, then you should be ok. And maybe just try to be cool with Chynna, talk to her, maybe you'll get along.

Ok, the last thing you wrote was that you're concerned about what they might do next. That's tough because people are unpredictable. There is no reason for them to do anything. Especially Samantha, because you're not with Conner anymore (right?). If you are afraid of what they'll do, there's no shame in going to your parents, and telling them that you're a little frightened, the only problem there is if kids find out, then they'll possibly give you a hard time. Which is unfortunate, but kids can be cruel.

I would suggest not trying to fight them or anything, don't do anything that would give them a reason to want to do something to you. They're a couple years younger than you so I'm thinking if you just try to ignore them, they might forget about you. Of course, not Chynna, since she thinks you like Nick. You are still entitled to hang out with him, because you are friends, but just try to avoid Chynna and Samantha, don't look scared, but just avoid them. My only fear is you said they hang out with some dangerous people, and kids these days hang out with big groups and think they're tough, so they gang up on people, and I don't want them to gang up on you. My best advice is just to avoid them the best you can, and as long as your best friends know the truth, I wouldn't worry about what a bunch of other people think.

Well, I'm sorry I couldn't give you any better advice on the last part, and I'm really sorry that Samantha made up rumors about you, I really hope it all works out for you! I hope I was able to help you out, at least a little, and I wish you the best of luck! Peace.

mb3


Dear Friend,

I agree with mb3 on many levels. He has given you some great advice, the very best is to avoid them as much as possible, as well, as taking the stance that you as well as your BF's know the truth and that's all that really matters.

Nothing gets around better than word of mouth. This is true in big business advertising as well as personal matters. You start spreading the news that you are, "too mature to be reduced to fighting some girl." See, by stating this, someone who still dwells on fighting will have to think to themselves, "Hey, am I acting maturely about this?"

I was a fighter in school. I never started them, only finished the fight. So, I know all about all the bull that goes along with some chick who goes around trying to solve her issues with fear. You just have to get the word out that "you have better things to do with your time than to fight some chick who is obviously bored with her life and must create chaos to jazz it up."

Those exact words, must be used. They are my very own Fight Potion #7 and I can just about guarantee they'll work as well as Love Potion #9


Keeping It Real,

Aunt Babz

Playing With Fire

Adult Content Warning

Dear Aunt Babz,

So i'm 22 years old and I moved in with my aunt and her boyfriend whom i've known for a long time and consider my uncle pretty much. He also has a 13 year old daughter who at first I thought of as a little sister, but as time went by it became more. I started to become attracted to her. I actually think I'm falling for her kind of. She's mature for her age physically and mentally but still only 13!! I mean it's not like twisted or perverted or anything. It's not just physical attraction and I would never try and take advantage but I think she knows I feel this way and SHE takes advantage of it. Always getting real close and stuff like that. I really don't know what I should do. I actually almost get a little jealous of her little boyfriends. I can't go anywhere else to live right now because I don't have the means but this situation is really stressing me out and making me feel guilty and weak and a whole bunch of other stuff. So any advice you could give me would be awesome. I can't talk to anyone I know about it because it's just way too embarrassing.



Dear Friend,

I can see your dilemma perfectly. I can also understand it and your situation. I grew up in the 70's and quite frankly I was what they commonly call a "dick tease." Even at the age of 12, when I lost my virginity, I knew how to use my sexuality. I knew how to swing my hips and bat my eyes to get attention.

Yes, girls her age know how to work it. The problem as I'm sure you are aware is the fact that at that age, they don't realize they're doing something terribly wrong. Life altering wrong. Your life altering wrong.

I'm sure you are also aware of the laws concerning her age. It's a terrible thing to have to be classified as a sexual offender for the rest of your life because some pretty young thing was throwing herself at you and your Johnson has no conscience.

Yes, for the rest of your natural born life, you'd have to register where ever you lived and for the millionth and one time, tell people/employers/friends/girlfriends that you did not rape some girl, you just couldn't control your desires when she threw it in your face. It's no joke and she should scare the living crap out of you.

See, at her age, she thinks she's a woman. She probably has the body of a woman and in your own words,

"She's mature for her age physically and mentally but still only 13!!"

This all leads me to believe you've tried to rationalize it all or possibly put it into perspective. You've also considered justifying this whole thing, a premise you'd better be real careful about.

You'd have a long time to wait till she's of age. Now, ask yourself; are you willing to wait? If you don't wait and you follow through with your desires, it could really blow up in your face. The fact still remains though, that although she feels like a woman, looks like a woman and acts like a woman, a woman she is not. Remember this.

I don't think a lot of guys realize it but a girl as young as she is, may think they are mature enough to make a decision such as giving themselves to a man in a sexual situation. But they are not mature enough. They may give themselves freely, in what appears to be a consensual sexual stance. But they are not mature enough.

Most of all, when you are standing in front of the Judge and you exclaim, "Well Your Honor, it was her idea, she consented, in fact, she pursued me," he's still gonna throw the book at you. He's going to look you in the face, right before he sentences you and he states that you were the adult, you were the one who should've known better and you were the one who should've said "NO."

Now, don't think I am condemning you or looking down my nose as I completely understand what's going on here. I do have three sons and just as I'm telling you, I would say the same things to them. I would also kick them in the ass if they followed through with this exact scenario. OK son, let me tell ya a little story of what's gonna happen, if you let this pretty young thing get the best of you. Listen and listen closely, my Dear because what I tell you is gonna happen, if you do not tippy toe around her;

So, you think you've got some hardcore feelings for her. Ain't that sweet? She is cute as hell and built like a woman, a real looker. She's real sweet on you too, ain't that special? Oh, so you say it's not just about the sex, you think she's all that, mature for her age and all. But let me let ya in on a little secret; When she gets you behind closed doors, when the timing is exactly right and she puts the moves on you, yea, she's gonna do the whole seduction scene guaranteed, well son, you'll be the one who's screwed.

If we start at the top, in the first act of this Play we'll call, "Playing With Fire,"we'll simply hope that she doesn't get pregnant. Then, you'll not be able to deny that you slept with her. Nope, there's no getting outa this one, Sweetie. You'll not only be forced into parenthood, long before you're ready(and when would you ever be ready?)but now they're gonna garnish your wages no matter where you try to hide.The money you make will hardly be enough for you to live on much less take care of your new child.

The second act is one where she gets vindictive or she matures enough and flips the script. She sees that you were the adult and you should've known better. She sees it that you took advantage of her. She was just a girl. Now, she's decided to go to the authorities and tell them all about your little love affair. Yep, she'll teach you a lesson and you'll never do that again to any other young thing. And guess what; all these years later, she has the right to report it and you damn skippy, yes, you can and will be charged with a sexual offense.

The third act is my own prediction. My Intuitions tell me that you'll fall head over heels for this girl. You'll do your damnedest to wait but it's a beautiful thing when she offers herself to you. She'll fall in love with you but she's real fickle, temperamental, moody and you'll grow tired of the immature games. You'll want to break up, move on, date a woman. When you break up with her, she's make it clear that she'll tell that you had sex, a good ol case of Statutory Rape and she's gonna use it against you.

You are playing with fire! And you will get burned Darlin'!


Keeping It Real,

Aunt Babz

Hello,

Ok, first of all, you're 22 and she's 13. She's still got a lot of growing to do, even if she is mature for her age. That's just too much of a difference at both of your respective ages. There's plenty of girls your age that you should go for instead. As far as you becoming attracted to her, just be careful, you know? You think of her as kind of your little sister, you wouldn't want to be like that with your sister right? And think about it, if your aunt and her boyfriend were to get married someday, his daughter would be your cousin! You have to be real with her, and if she really is taking advantage, you got to tell her straight up that you can't be together, and you two are basically family. For real, there are plenty of girls out there your age, go for a girl closer to your age. Plus man, I'm not 100% certain, but I believe it's illegal for an over 18 year old to be with someone younger than 18. And by the time she hits 18, you'll be 27, just imagine your differences there. Just curious, but do you have any other aunt's or uncle's you can live with? And hey, if you were to get with a girl closer to your age, then maybe you could live with her, and it won't be as uncomfortable living with your aunt's boyfriend's daughter, because I can definitly understand where that would be an uncomfortable situation for you.

So yeah man, I can't tell you what to do, but I will say that in my opinion, you should definitely stay clear of trying to be in a relationship with her, and find a girl your age, because I definitely think that will get your mind off of her as well, and tell her that it makes you uncomfortable when she cuddles up to you. I really just can't see where it would be healthy for you two to be together. I mean, she's only 13 and thus really kind of doesn't exactly know what she wants right now either, I'm pretty sure.

So man, I hope I was a little help for you, and I do hope everything works out for you!

mb3

Nice and Easy

Dear Aunt B,

I am in sixth grade.I like a guy in my class but he really likes to tempt and tease me.and no,i don't even know why i like him!i just do and i can't make myself stop liking him! School starts in half a month and i don't know what i should do when i see him again after summer break.should i tell him that i like him? should i ignore him? HELP ME!

Sincerely,

Sarah

Hello Sarah,

Well there's a good chance he's acting like that because he likes you to. I'm guessing he's in 6th grade as well right? Yeah, from what you said, I think he probably likes you too. I mean, when you say he teases and tempts you, I don't know exactly what he does, but I'm guessing he likes you too. I don't know that you should tell him you like him. Don't ignore him though, since you do like him. Just talk to him a bit, get to know him, maybe it will turn out that he likes you too.

I hope I have been some help, and I really hope it works well for you, and he likes you as well! If I did not give enough help, feel free to write back, and we can give it another try.

mb3



Dear Sarah,

Most guys, even at that age, tempt and tease only when they like you. He wouldn't bother, I don't think if he didn't have feelings for you. But guys in 6th grade, believe it or not are just starting to really like girls. They usually just come out of the, "Girls are yucky," stage and begin to notice the opposite sex. I agree with mb3.

Talk to him, take it nice and easy and things will hopefully jump. When you see him in the hall, maybe wink at him. That's a little flirtatious but not too over bearing. Then, he'll know that you do like him and he'll probably get the cue that it's ok to talk to you. Have a great new school year. These are the years that make memories...enjoy!

Keeping It Real,

Aunt Babz

Hold Off

Dear Aunt Babz,

So I sort of have a 'typical complicated relationship' with a boy. I'm 16, and he's 17, so...humour me. Anyway, we are 'bestfriends', but we cross that line a lot. We've both confessed that we are in love with eachother (which I am deeply), but he still insists that he isn't ready to date me yet, due to how it would be immediately serious, and would put a lot of pressure on the two of us. I, of course, said I would wait as long as he needed. Last Friday night a mutual friend had a hall party, and I got a little out of hand. I saw him kissing a random girl that was 4 years younger than him, and I got so mad. But instead of making a scene, I thought GET EVEN. So I made out with like 7 guys, and made a bit of a fool of myself. So anyway, he was obviously angry. He called me the next morning and we had a long talk, by which I told him that I am pretty much being unfair to myself. Yes, it was wrong what I did, but he isn't my boyfriend, so it isn't that bad. He proceeded to yell at me, and tell me that I must not really love him if I can kiss other guys (two of which were his friends, so he complained that what I did was so much worse than what he did!) Then I told him that we need to take some time apart, so I can have my space, because if you're not going to commit to being with me, than a girl can only wait so long. There are a lot of other boys in this world who would be happy to be with me, and I know that, so I feel like i'm wasting my time. Although, i'm sure this boy is meant for me, and I really do love him. So what i'm asking is, was it wrong for me to do what I did to him at the hall party, even though we aren't 'together'? And was it wrong to ask for time apart from a really good friend just because I want to date him? If so...what do I do?

Hello,

Well, first of all, ask yourself this. If he says he is in love with you, then why is he not ready to date you? Also look at it this way. You said you have crossed that line a lot, could he just be saying he loves you in order to get you to "cross that line"? Hold off on doing that with him, and see what he says then. Also, if he really loves you, would he be kissing other girls? Somebody who is doing that might not be trustable in the long haul. It sounds a lot like he is not ready to be in a committed relationship.

If he gets mad at you for doing what you did, even though he did pretty much the same thing, it sounds hypocritical. However while he should not have yelled at you for making out with those guys, I would advise against going that direction, instead talking to him about what he did the next morning. You are right, in that there ARE a lot of other boys in this world that would be very happy to be with you. And with many of them, you would not have to worry about them cheating on you or kissing other girls. Also, what makes you sure he is meant for you if he is kissing other girls, and saying he loves you but not wanting to date you? You definitely have a right to ask for some space. And he should not have a problem with it, since he was the one who said he doesn't want to date yet in the first place.

I hope to have helped you out a little, and I really hope that this all works out for you in for the best. I wish you the best of luck!

mb3